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TOCD and HOCD

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Ive suffered with what I think is called transgender OCD for about a year now along with a couple months of HOCD that somehow went away. The TOCD is still going on and it’s terrifying. Sometimes it feels like I actually want the thoughts and I still can’t tell if it’s real or not. When the thoughts come along i’m always saying, “is this me or is this ocd?”. Ive loved being a girl my whole life and never had this problem until a thought popped into my head that said “what if I was meant to be a boy?” which provoked a panic attack and has caused me to ruminate daily and question everything. All of this has also caused my self esteem to lower and the sense of feeling like myself to dissapear. When these thoughts come it feels like it will never end. And when OCD thoughts are not present and I actually feel okay it sometimes feels like im living in a lie and that I need to listen to the OCD thoughts and do what it’s telling me. These thoughts bring anxiety, guilt, and sadness. Ive been working on ERP techniques and I hope they work.

if anyone who has had a similar experience could give me advice I would really appreciate that. I’m still unsure whether or not this is OCD which freaks me out and I most likely will never know because OCD is all about the fear of uncertainty

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People who are transgender feel like themselves and it just feels right. For you it is very likely ocd. Choose to disregard these thoughts, feelings, urges, and sensations. Also disregard any images or dreams. These are all very common symptoms of ocd. Reduce the time you spend ruminating about this and then try to eliminate. You've got this!!