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Suicide theme ocd

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ve struggled with harm ocd 2 years ago but i recovered from it and i thought finally I’m done with this what a relief, but this year during the lockdown i went trough a lot of stress and was very anxious during my anxious moment a thought came to my mind “what if you can’t handle your anxiety and commit suicide” that thought sent me in a spiral of anxiety

so basically I’m obssessing over my anxiety and suicide

i don’t know what are the exposures related to this theme.

and i feel like I’m the only with this theme it’s scaring me

and i can’t even go outside because whenever i do i get anxiety attacks

if anyone have any idea about this or went through the same experience pls help

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This is super common! Probably one of the most frequent types of ocd. I had this as well. You need to do erp and work on disregarding. Any time that a thought related to your theme pops up, just disregard.

I found it really important to understand the difference between a thought occuring to you and you analyzing it. A thought occuring to you is just a brief pop up such as 'what if i cant handle anxiety' and this is where you disregard this and dont start analyzing this, just drop it. But if you continue with this with things such as omg what if i really cant do it, what if something is really wrong with me, what if i really want to do this, this is all you ruminating and its how you are keeping ocd alive. Work on noticing this and dropping this thinking and analyzing. Its a process for sure. You are learning new healthy habits. You can do this!!