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Partner focused ROCD

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My post did not go up so I apologize if this is posted twice

I have partner focused ROCD

my partner has a “flaw” that never bothered me for 5 years then when we moved in together it took center stage in my mind. I actually became embarassed to be seen with them. It was insane. I pushed through it then we got engaged and now I am so debilitated with thoughts and anxiety I can’t even leave the house. I avoid my partner at all costs in fear of having a panic attack and breaking down when I see them and see “the flaw”

I literally don’t know what to do. They say live with the uncertainty but I am certain because I see the flaw. I can’t explain it. It has ruined my LIFE. I have never been this miserable.
I love my partner. I no longer know what to do.

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Hi Somedaysoon,

You need to track how much time you are spending on rumination about the flaw each day.

Wake - 9am - mins

9 - 12 - mins

12 - 3 - mins

3 - 6 - mins

6-9 - mins

9-sleep

 

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Anyone who needs help, DO WHAT ALI SAYS!!! I am the original poster. I am back to share an update. I lowered my ruminations and started intense ERP therapy with an OCD specialist. I also listened to Ali's videos. Listen to me. OCD is lying to you. It is taking something normal, casual that exists in nature like doubt, or not being attracted or someone not being perfect....and making it your enemy. Its all OCD.  You can be free. Do ERP. If you can not afford a therapist follow Ali's videos on ERP exactly. You can do it. I am still not cured but I see the light. Thank you Ali & all the OCD specialists and therapists who are changing lives with ERP.