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Fear of Cheating

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Do you guys ever get scared that you will cheat? I have been happily married for 11 years. My wife and I have always had a great sex life, and we have no kids. I have had OCD most of my life, so I know that this is all OCD, but the what If's still persist. My OCD had never really attached to my relationship until this year.

I have always watched porn off and on, and it was never an issue. Now, im scared to match porn because it makes me feel like I'm addicted to lust, and now anytime I see I pretty women, I get intrusive thoughts that I'm just going to cheat on my wife, or that I'll just impulsively grab someone's ass, or that I'm a sex addict. I spent hours googling, what the definition of a sex addict is, if I should stop watching porn (and I did for a few months), but it didn't make much of a difference. I can't tell if watching porn is a compulsion or if not watching it is.

Anyways, im rambling... I do have a high sex drive and always have, but I have never been lustful, or have cheated, had multiple partners etc. But I keep getting scared that I'm going to cheat, or turn into a sexual predator. It's so frustrating.

If anyone is going through this and has any guidance, I'd appreciate it

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You have to try to refuse reaction to the thoughts and feelings that come in on autopilot. I'd say that if you're not watching porn because of ocd, maybe try to watch as you did before the rocd began. Try not to research, or ask for reassurance. Reduce compulsions as much as you can until you are not doing any compulsions. Live your life as you normally would as much as you can. Hope this helps!

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As you said ... you have never cheated ... so why will you turn into a cheater just in a day. This is not logical, that can not be. So you know it is ocd, don’t react to it.

I have it as well, I am still having OCD, I have had this thought for about 6months... and still sometimes have it (my ROCD switched thoughts) but when I was having this one, I was telling trying to focus my attention on a very beautiful memory with my boyfriend, a memory where I deeply felt he is the one, for you it can be a intimate moment with your wife when you were having so good sex or something like this that makes you so confident that you want this with her and only her and nobody else. It can be kind of reassurance, but it helped me killing this thought, then your ocd will probably switch thoughts... but this is how I am doing it, don’t know if it is still considered as reassurence? Tell me what you think about it, but it really helps, with time I was like in my mind when I got this cheating thought said : ohh please I kbow that I want that just with my boyfriend so NO and bring this beautiful feeling of a moment with him to kind of replace the thought by a positive one.

 

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Quote from Guest on December 28, 2020, 1:50 am

Do you guys ever get scared that you will cheat? I have been happily married for 11 years. My wife and I have always had a great sex life, and we have no kids. I have had OCD most of my life, so I know that this is all OCD, but the what If's still persist. My OCD had never really attached to my relationship until this year.

I have always watched porn off and on, and it was never an issue. Now, im scared to match porn because it makes me feel like I'm addicted to lust, and now anytime I see I pretty women, I get intrusive thoughts that I'm just going to cheat on my wife, or that I'll just impulsively grab someone's ass, or that I'm a sex addict. I spent hours googling, what the definition of a sex addict is, if I should stop watching porn (and I did for a few months), but it didn't make much of a difference. I can't tell if watching porn is a compulsion or if not watching it is.

Anyways, im rambling... I do have a high sex drive and always have, but I have never been lustful, or have cheated, had multiple partners etc. But I keep getting scared that I'm going to cheat, or turn into a sexual predator. It's so frustrating.

If anyone is going through this and has any guidance, I'd appreciate it

hey, can i contact you somehow? Maybe email or messenger? I would like to ask you a couple of questions. i'm 18 and i have rocd, i want to get some advice from people who overcame it