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Existential OCD and derealization

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Hi, 

I have been watching your videos for some time now, and they have been a lifesaver. Seriously cannot thank you enough. I have had a random run of existential ocd that sort of came out of nowhere and I didn't realize what it was until it was a huge problem. It was all that I could think about all day long: why are we here, what is the meaning of life, what is my purpose, etc. All that. It really got bad when my ocd was a 10/10 and I ended up having a panic attack and the world looked and felt weird. I was thinking to myself, what is this world, what is reality, what is going on, what is any of this. Pairing this with my OCD was very scary and it really left a mark on me. 

Since then I have start to go to therapy and started ERP. It has helped a ton, and pairing that with your videos I would say that my anxiety has gone from 10/10 to a 4/10 over the course of a month and my mood has gone from a 0-1/10 to about 5-6/10, 10 being my old self. So I've made progress! My question really is my main worry is not being able to see the world the same. Has OCD permanently changed my perspective of the world and reality? Like for so long everything felt so foreign and strange, it's hard to imagine everything being normal again. It's hard to imagine seeing everything the same after derealization and Existential OCD. It really embedded this worry of the world being arbtirary, nothing making sense, reality looking weird, and everything else that comes with these thoughts. I'm just hoping im not permanently changed from all this, and I can go back to my old self.

Thanks for your work! If possible, please make a video on Existential OCD :), you have the best channel and I would love to see your perspective on it. Thanks again!

Nyasu and ImAaronKelly have reacted to this post.
NyasuImAaronKelly
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Was curious how you are doing? Very similar experience so would love to hear your progress.