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Could this be ROCD?


Please can I have one question? ??

Every example of Relationship OCD on internet is about people who have been with their partners for years and then started doubts. But I am experiecing that everytime I start some relationship, there comes doubts immediately. And I feel for example like i dont miss that girl when I am not with her, or maybe I dont love her, or maybe i will quit that after a while like before. And I have fear that I can hurt her if i will quit that relationship. So I quit that immediatelly because after some time it hurts more. I was in love so many times. But my first girlfriend cheated on me. And I was like its okay i wanna continue relationship. And then it happened again so we quit. After that I was in love many times but I was always rejected and I was long time in sadness. And everytime I tried start some dating i quit it soon because I was like it doesnt feel like im in love with that girl before. And then I slept with many girls but only for maybe one night, or for some short time because it doesnt feel like im in love. Since all this started there was only one time when this feelings left away and i fell in love. It was like all that doubts and featy that maybe i dont love her or she is not maybe that good or that pretty left away and i feel again all that emotions. Othertimes I quit that and dont feel anything only shame and guilt. And every other relationship I dont wanna start because I am affraid of happen it all again that i started something and it will end and Sorry for long text. My question is could it be ROCD even when it starts right when dating starts? Or ROCD can be only if doubts come after years? I also have all day doubts about me and my skills in work. About me if i am a good person. There was also time when i had doubts about my orientation. I had fear that i am homosexual even if I never been sexually attracted to men. Sorry for Bad english.

Thank you so much ??

When I look back now. I had doubts also with my first girlfriend i wrote about. But it goes away after maybe a month. That doubts was and always are like. Maybe I dont think about her so much. Maybe I only want to have sex with her. Maybe I dont miss her as much as i might and then it couldnt be love. I have this feelings all life everytime I start some relationship.