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Content of Harm Ocd


My Harm OCD feels like a torture cell to me.... it gives me all these very violent and gruesome content. It started with stabbing my family members. Later on, it started varying. The content gets quite disturbing. It gets extremely uncomfortable for me to even talk to anybody about it. Though I have said some to my Therapist. But, how do I handle such violent content ! I try to give the correct kind of response but it takes a toll on me to realise the fact that my brain's imagination can produce such violent images.... the worst is when I am the doer and someone close to me is the victim in the obsessive thought(most of the times it's always that). Sometimes I try to take courage in the moment that okay may be this is it.... may be anything harm/violence related I had ever seen or heard has already been used by my obsessive mind. But, seems like there is no end to it...and every thought I get is worse than the previous one. Also I fear if I might actually turn into someone different than what I am. Though I know, it's my anxiety talking ... but then, I start to ruminate by trying to picturise myself in some kind of similar situation and whether I might actually want to create any sort of hurt/pain to someone, just to make sure that's actually not the case and I would never want to do anything like that to anybody. But, my mind starts to contradict there as well saying it's just a hollow belief you are holding onto and that might not be true. 


Try to stop ruminating man. I had this ocd for a year. it was torture. it ruined my life for that year. The more you ruminate the more thoughts will come.