Quote from Guest on December 29, 2020, 7:13 pm
I don’t know if anyone here is having this same specific very weird thought. That when you look sometimes at your partner or at a picture of him, it says he is not that beautiful, Therefore I can’t be with someone ugly ! (And like ... in the real life when you are with him you find him very handsome and attractive) but well... he is not the most handsome in the world but I love him and I find him handsome, but sometimes I have this thought poping up probably because what attracted me first about him was his personalitu and not physical. I remember the first time I sow him I thought, oh he is so tall wow let’s look at his face and saying ... oh he is not handsome. And then being impressed by his personality until one day I was like omg he is handsome ! And then I was so into him ect... until OCD hits me so sooo hardly.
it comes and goes, when I choose to not listen to the thoughts and reassure myslef ect ... it comes for like weeks to 1 month or two and then comes again with new or old thoughts that I thought were solved !
i love my partner, he is the perfect one for me, I wan to marry him and I feel like I can’t be happy because of this OCD.
how can anybody that is in love with someone thinks he is ugly when he was attracted to him at the begining ?!! How can that be...
and of course there are million of other thoughts like cheating, or what if he is not the one, or what if he is not intelligent enough or what if he has an STI or whatever miserable thought that hurts me so deeply. But this one is killing me because beauty is important maybe to me ...
I am really confused and afraid that if I recover, I will find myself still seeing him not as handsome as I would like him to be or something like this and discover that I was juste reassuring myself and saying it was OCD when it is not. Because like ... I am feeling that I really think this is true like I truely thik he is not that handsome. It is a fact so it is not OCD right ?! But I love him! Maybe I should be with someone more handsome to be confident that I love someone ?! I think I will loose my mind guys ...
I am tired.
hey, can i contact you somehow? Maybe email or messenger? I would like to ask you a couple of questions. i'm 18 and i have rocd, i want to get some advice from people who overcame it