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Need help, harm and false memory!

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I get hurt OCD along with false memory. It all started with the obsessive thought that I suddenly attacked. Pondering it, I imagined the thought that I, as it were, wanted to attack, in order to understand whether it was or not, but this provoked a new thought that suddenly I attacked now. This created a cycle: I thought about the old situation, imagined a thought and immediately a new thought came up and a new OCD situation was obtained. All this lasted a very long time and brought a lot of pain and suffering. I checked the places where my thoughts told me I could suddenly carry a person. Bit by bit, I restored everything in my memory and eventually came to the conclusion that it was all about these considerations themselves. As soon as I imagined a desire or a thought, I immediately thought that I suddenly attacked. That is, as I understood this second of imagination provoked a new thought, which gave rise to the thought: "suddenly I attacked now, suddenly I did not imagine the thought, but suddenly I attacked." This brought panic and excitement. I read about false memory OCD on the Internet and realized that thoughts come on their own there, and in my situation with OCD, I kind of provoke my thoughts myself. This spawned a thought in my head: "Is that all OCD?" But I realized that most likely this is OCD and these very imaginations are obsessive thoughts, they are also rituals, as I was imagining when I tried to solve some past OCD situation. Time passed. OCD got worse. Thoughts were transferred to another location - hatches. Thoughts crept into my head that I suddenly took the person there. I realized that I did not remember leaving the house and taking a person somewhere. I looked at the hatches, trying to understand whether I opened it or not, but I didn't even know which of the many hatches near the house I could carry the person to. I understood that OCD was getting worse. I was getting worse. I have noticed a tendency for a long time now that the new OCD situation overshadows the old one. Once a new strong OCD situation, which brought a lot of panic, overshadowed the old one, but I was able to prove in time that it was not. I started not to react to all thoughts. I was heavily attacked by thoughts. Thoughts constantly entered my head that I needed to think about past situations, I needed to ruminate, but I tried to avoid ruminating. The next day I was again attacked by thought OCD. As soon as I thought about the location, I immediately got the idea that I suddenly attacked. I pondered this situation and imagined a thought. Immediately the thought came that I suddenly attacked. I went to bed. Not having time to wake up, I imagined a thought, the thought came again that I suddenly attacked. I pondered this situation, imagined thoughts and the thought came that suddenly I attacked when imagining. I realized that OCD was pulling me back into the swamp of rumination. Over the next few days, I argued again that it was all OCD. I was looking for evidence that I did not attack. I remember being asleep and starting to think again. The thought came that I suddenly attacked. In the morning I felt awful. The thought came into my head that I suddenly attacked. I did not feel panic and it worried me very much. I lay on the couch and pondered why I did not have a panic. I don't remember how, but the thought occurred to me that I suddenly attacked. The next day I was sitting on the couch, I felt very bad, I was emotional and said that I was a murderer. The thought came to my mind that I suddenly attacked. I realized that I didn’t remember leaving, but the thought came to my mind that I suddenly said so and suddenly I went and suddenly I attacked. I was in a very bad mental state. In the evening I sat at the table and felt a sense of annoyance about the attack. As if feelings of anger climbed and that, as if out of anger, I want to attack. There were feelings that I wanted to attack out of anger. I don't remember how, but the thought occurred to me that I suddenly attacked out of anger. I was in a panic. I understood that I had these feelings, but I did not understand how the thought came to my mind that I suddenly attacked out of irritation. The thought came into my head that I suddenly left the apartment out of irritation and attacked. This situation hit me hard. I realized that I didn’t remember leaving, but thoughts came into my head that I had feelings and suddenly I did, because I had the thought that I suddenly attacked. The thought came into my head that I suddenly attacked with irritation. I'm trying to figure out whether this is another manifestation of OCD or not. It's very difficult for me. I try to understand what happened and the thought that suddenly this is not ocd climb into my head. I understand that I could be in irritation, and then, as it were, imagine a thought, but thoughts come into my head that I suddenly attacked because of irritation. It's very hard for me. Thoughts come to my mind that I suddenly attacked, but I understand that I don't remember leaving. I would like to hear your opinion. Is it OCD?

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This is OCD. You have been ruminating so much. Try to stop ruminating and doing compulsions. You were also seeking reassurance. Try to reduce these things but by bit. You can do this. God bless. 

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Thank you for you reply!  You can say a few words about the situation that I was annoyed about the attack and I had feelings of irritation, and then the thought came that I suddenly attacked. Do you think it's OCD? But I am tormented by the thought that I was annoyed and as if I wanted to attack, and the thought came that I suddenly attacked. Do you think this is a manifestation of OCD?

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Those questions you asked me are reassurance seeking questions. This is OCD please try to stop ruminating. Sorry for being harsh but i went through ocd and you can't seek reassurance if you want to recover. God bless 

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You need to stop ruminating it’s a compulsion. Look up to meet with Ali, NOCD, better help, or a local (even state-wide) ocd specialist. The more you try to figure this out the worse it will get. And stop looking for reassurance!!! It won’t help at all. You need to learn how to stop asking the question. 

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Anonymous188796
Hi guys is anyone else’s volume in tracker app not working can’t hear introduction video
TryK06
Bayj
Is anyone here religious?
I don't call myself religious, but I do love Jesus! What's up?
Anonymous188684
ХВАТИТ ПИСАТЬ СУКА Я ПЫТАЮСЬ ПОСРАТЬ
Anonymous188598
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Bayj
Is anyone here religious?
Anonymous185125
Anonymous186967
I'm so sick of this. I don't know what to do I don't know how I can help myself. Its getting too much
Follow Ali's videos and take it one day at a time. You can do it!
Anonymous186967
I'm so sick of this. I don't know what to do I don't know how I can help myself. Its getting too much
Anonymous188499
Dear Aly, I have sexual intrusive thoughts about everything, but in one month I have intrusive sexual thoughts about God. I have sensations like I am aroused, and once I listened meditation in witch say "energy of God" and I thought "sexual energy of God", and I have sensations in my groin that I couldn't stop like sexual pleasent, but unpleasent because it is God. And because of that I sit on my
Anonymous186967
Anonymous188387
I have really horrible harm and pocd, I can not accept the the premise its all gonna work out fine. I am so stuck at the moment I dont want my life anymore. So again, how do you guys have the guts to accept its ocd. (2)
honestly when i have ocd thoughts i always tell myself a 'normal' person wouldn't think like this. But it makes me feel worse because of the thoughts I have. Just remember everytime you have a thought from ocd don't forget you have ocd if that makes sense. Different things will work for everyone so try find something that will work for you. It takes so much work but you will get there.
Anonymous188387
Same person, please dont tell me i need to accept the unsurtanty, I tried that for years, it just doesnt work when your OCD tells you your a sick psychopath
Anonymous188387
btw I am not suicidal or anything, it was more like a a logical statement than anything else.
Anonymous188387
physical responses like groinal stuff. So im somewhere in between the believe I have OCD and I am a very f**ked up person. My question, how can I know I have OCD. When I listen to Ali I am convinced I have ocd but with all the stuff that happens I think its not OCD. Where do I get the courage to fight this, because when its not OCD the concequenses are so grim its better i dont walk on this planet
Anonymous188387
To give a better picture, my ocd convinces me I have very dark personality traits I supress, and when I stop with OCD behaviour I will basacly be a person like ted bundy. I dont want it, and by saying that to myself i this intrusion was gone for years, but lately it came back and its f**king me up big time. It tries me to convince I want this, and I am a monster, its also starting with the (3)
Anonymous188387
I have really horrible harm and pocd, I can not accept the the premise its all gonna work out fine. I am so stuck at the moment I dont want my life anymore. So again, how do you guys have the guts to accept its ocd. (2)
Anonymous188387
How do I get the courage to fight OCD, Its not that I lack the will to fight. I've tried everything to make the exposures work but because of the shithole OCD is I am convinced, everytime its not OCD
Anonymous188347
Anonymous188328
Hey I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I struggle with many of the same things. It’s incredibly hard and I’m nowhere near perfect at identifying the OCD and overcoming the OCD, but I know that I have hope. And you need to have hope smile hope is the most power tool in fighting the enemy’s lies. So keep strong, keep killing it. Be proud of yourself and the progress you’ve ma
thank you for your kind response, it means a lot to me
Anonymous186967
Anonymous188336
(4) same person a*s anonymous 188329, How do i supose to feel when in exposure. for example, when I do an exposure with harm OCD I feel like I can snap every moment and harm someone, when I am disregarding my ocd is screaming it louder than ever. (I supose this is normal because my i invalidate my thought and by that my brain thinks im in danger???)
For me doing exposure is so difficult and it just brings more and more thoughts. People say overtime the anxiety will eventually go down and for some people its easy but i'm so scared that i will never get better and maybe i'm just overthinking things
Anonymous188336
(5) I observe that I am really scared while disregarding (an emotion outside control, not like responding with fear but more like an auto response because my brain is hardwired this way) Is this normal or am I doing something wrong here. Ps thanks in advance for all the responses, i really love how people try to help while suffering themself, a true case of altruïsm if you ask me haha
Anonymous188336
(4) same person a*s anonymous 188329, How do i supose to feel when in exposure. for example, when I do an exposure with harm OCD I feel like I can snap every moment and harm someone, when I am disregarding my ocd is screaming it louder than ever. (I supose this is normal because my i invalidate my thought and by that my brain thinks im in danger???)
Anonymous188329
for what it is and dont buy in the content. So, is it reacurance behaviour or good (I see progress, dont know if its relevant)
Anonymous188329
keeping my s**t together when disregarding, my brain tends to automaticaly drift in reasurance behaviour. I've noticed that I listen to Ali on spotify almost religiously because it keeps my mind straight on what im doing and i dont enter OCD land. having sed that, Its not clear if its reasurance behaviour for me, because it DOES keep the anxiety low, but more in a way i keep seeing the thoughts (2
Anonymous188329
Hello everyone, i have a burning question (not as reasurance) I've tried everything to get rid of my OCD, and i see that i had a lot of reasurance seeking behaviour because the content of my thoughts are unbearable. I started with the greymond method by tracking all my ocd behaviour and I am a few days in, have to say its much harder than hirarchy. I just started with it, and I have a hard time (1
Anonymous188328
Anonymous188220
I need help, how can i know this is ocd. I have harm, pocd, cleaning ocd, false memory ocd, real event ocd, groinal responses, false attraction, how do i know, i dont want this, or that i dont have a horrible supressed side. Its killing me inside, i dont want to deal with this s**t any longer. I just cant accept the unknown, not with themes like these at least.
Hey I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I struggle with many of the same things. It’s incredibly hard and I’m nowhere near perfect at identifying the OCD and overcoming the OCD, but I know that I have hope. And you need to have hope smile hope is the most power tool in fighting the enemy’s lies. So keep strong, keep killing it. Be proud of yourself and the progress you’ve ma
Anonymous188224
guys i feel like im obsessed with someone, how can i stop it
Anonymous188220
I need help, how can i know this is ocd. I have harm, pocd, cleaning ocd, false memory ocd, real event ocd, groinal responses, false attraction, how do i know, i dont want this, or that i dont have a horrible supressed side. Its killing me inside, i dont want to deal with this s**t any longer. I just cant accept the unknown, not with themes like these at least.
Anonymous188158
Anonymous187503
I'm so tired, I'm feeling depressed and I feel as if I really lost myself, i feel disconnected, i feel extremely numb, scared, anxious and can't cope with this anymore
Me too i feel sometimes like im out of my body
Anonymous188158
Hello, i dont know if it is hocd or denial but even if im bi or lesbian i dong want to be a man.. i have that fear oflosing my feminity or im in denial
Anonymous188116
I am ocd patient since 5 months
Anonymous188058
I am so depressed because of sexual thoughts about my sibling but I don't think consciously I didnot hve any thought to do it but my mind didnot stop thinking bad
Anonymous188048
Getting religious ocd
Anonymous187990
Just started
Anonymous187884
Is it the thought suppresion, compulsion?
Anonymous187884
Hello, how is the tracking going for all of you? I just started...any tips?
Anonymous187680
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Anonymous187506
How do I make sense of contamination OCD. Any amount of spread is too much and I panic. Where do I draw the line?
Anonymous187503
I'm so tired, I'm feeling depressed and I feel as if I really lost myself, i feel disconnected, i feel extremely numb, scared, anxious and can't cope with this anymore
Anonymous187503
but definitely it's the first time it happens almost every single day for almost every dream whenever I'm sleeping, taking naps etc and I don't really know if it's actually the "denial" coming to surface or if this is OCD manifesting i really don't know what to expect posting this I'm just so tired that I can't find my own peace being awake and being sleeping, half sleeping or anywhere.
Anonymous187503
I can't find peace while I'm sleeping anymore also whenever I'm about to wake up but I'm still sleeping kind of like a conscious state of mind or like a limbo between sleeping and woke my mind start to throw statements related to this, always being extremely specific, and anxiety inducing and i mean it's not the first time since this started that this type of thing happened but definitely it's
Anonymous187503
Just feeling extremely tired at this point with my s****y sleeping and the way it starts to manifest when I'm dreaming or waking up. The thing is that lately I've been having dreams where there's always something related to the obsession theme manifesting trough people or situations or escenarios etc, etc. I'm extremely sick and tired of it because I can't fin
Jonathan
Existential/Health/Motor OCD here. I need help getting past this “secret knowledge” feeling I have that I’m aware of my existence and it makes me feel “asleep” whenever I’m not doing compulsions and just living. Feels like the last stronghold.
Anonymous187476
Because in my mind any amount is still a contamination and that’s what is hard for me to stop.
Anonymous187476
Where do I draw the line? I am constantly unsure and decide to “play it safe” which just makes it worse.

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