PUREO OCD CHAT 
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Anonymous185125
Anonymous188527
Hi can you get hard copies of These books or only E books by Ali?
There are some hard-copied books online.
Anonymous188527
Hi can you get hard copies of These books or only E books by Ali?
Anonymous187661
Still terrified
Anonymous187783
Good morning
Anonymous187661
Like maybe the image was there for like 0.5 of a second with a man but idk my brains telling me I pushed away a thought and I’m scared
Anonymous187661
also I hate these thoughts and really don’t wanna do them I just wanna spend my life happy and with a girl
Anonymous187661
Keep thinking of the girl and that it doesn’t switch to a man my head is telling me this is what pushing away thoughts is and that I’m in denial, been ruminating for the past 12 hours and I have heard that people in denial push away the thoughts
Anonymous187661
close my eyes to focus on the girl, pretty much a compulsion so that I can
Anonymous187661
Terrified I’m in denial and believe I have H-OCD (undiagnosed) Basically what’s happened is I think of a thought with a girl and it’s good and then my brain goes I’m going to switch to a man and switches but then tells me it’s forced, what just happened is I was in the shower and I get a thought of a girl and I enjoy it and my brain goes ok I’m going to switch to a man and I say no and
Anonymous187001
Does the fact that I'm still scared of some of these situations mean I don't want to do it? I know I had OCD before because of both the indescribable high levels of anxiety and the urgency to do compulsions, which always gave me relief? But am I getting worse? Am I becoming a monster?
Anonymous187001
Anonymous187001
and when put in what used to be very scary and uncomfortable situations, I get feelings as if its what I want and don't react. This is what scares me the most, the fact that all of this is happening and I feel like I don't care. I do have one compulsion that remains, shaking off images. But it's weakening and becoming lesser, as it feels like I am accepting them.
Granted, this happened with one thought, and because I didn't try to repress it, it didn't come in again, which I was relieved about. I also haven't posted on here in a while in fear that I could be getting help from people under 18. I don't want to get an urge and not be able to stop myself. Although usually when I'm faced with such a situation, anxiety begins to spike.
Anonymous187001
Anonymous187001
not despite. I would sometimes also feel like I enjoyed doing these things. Not in the same way as normal feelings, they were much weaker, but still feeling real enough to have me reacting, at least at first. Now, I'm not reacting at all. As stated before, avoidance used to be a massive compulsion for me, something that made my thoughts worse. I'm no longer avoiding anything,
and when put in what used to be very scary and uncomfortable situations, I get feelings as if its what I want and don't react. This is what scares me the most, the fact that all of this is happening and I feel like I don't care. I do have one compulsion that remains, shaking off images. But it's weakening and becoming lesser, as it feels like I am accepting them.
Anonymous187001
Anonymous187001
Secondly, these thoughts are coming in as mini-actions. I will do something normal, then a thought, feeling, sensation or urge will come in to replace my normal thought process. I used to avoid when this happened, but overtime I just stopped. Not due to recovery but just because either the thought was strong or because I didn't care anymore, and I would do the actions with the thoughts in my mind,
not despite. I would sometimes also feel like I enjoyed doing these things. Not in the same way as normal feelings, they were much weaker, but still feeling real enough to have me reacting, at least at first. Now, I'm not reacting at all. As stated before, avoidance used to be a massive compulsion for me, something that made my thoughts worse. I'm no longer avoiding anything,
Anonymous187001
Anonymous187001
Can OCD become the real thing? Pedophilia is my subtype and I'm fully convinced its no longer a subtype and that I've become the monster I was terrified of. Things have gradually changed over the last year. My reaction to the thoughts, how I feel about them and what I'm doing. First of all, my compulsions are gone. If I ruminate, it's never for long, even if I am convinced the thought is true.
Secondly, these thoughts are coming in as mini-actions. I will do something normal, then a thought, feeling, sensation or urge will come in to replace my normal thought process. I used to avoid when this happened, but overtime I just stopped. Not due to recovery but just because either the thought was strong or because I didn't care anymore, and I would do the actions with the thoughts in my mind,
Anonymous187001
Can OCD become the real thing? Pedophilia is my subtype and I'm fully convinced its no longer a subtype and that I've become the monster I was terrified of. Things have gradually changed over the last year. My reaction to the thoughts, how I feel about them and what I'm doing. First of all, my compulsions are gone. If I ruminate, it's never for long, even if I am convinced the thought is true.
Anonymous186665
Anonymous185957
Ali, what is the difference between the pure ocd app in the appstore versus your OCD Help app? please advise, thanks
All ocds are kinda the same. I dont think you should worry about that.
Anonymous186312
Ali could you discuss the topic of “Association OCD” , which is when things you like/do/enjoy gets ‘ruined’ because you attach an intrusive thought to you. This makes you either avoid or not enjoy these things because everytime you encounter you are reminded and triggered by that thought you associated. It could be with literally anything but my main issue is mainly food, people, placedl
Anonymous185957
Ali, what is the difference between the pure ocd app in the appstore versus your OCD Help app? please advise, thanks
Anonymous186010
this. How can I refuse on a healthy way. I've tried to just flat out accept unsurtanty but i just cant accept everything. Will everything be fine if I accept that this is ocd. I really want to stop the cleaning. my hands hurt as hell. what is a healthy way to act on this situation. thank you in advance for answering. also sorry for my english , 2nd language...
Anonymous186010
(4) can be another part 4 due to my message before not sending (server issues?). basicaly this feels very real and i feel morally obligated to just make this an exposure because i don't want any chance that I maybe hurt someone. My false memory really plays a part in this to by inserting images and intrusions by everything i can't remember. I please help, my question: Should I be worrying about
Anonymous186009
haunts me. I am making progress but its getting harder to get outside. I tried just to flat out rejecting the thought but the moment it comes in my head i react with fear, outside my control. I've tried rationalizing the thought. It doesnt work either. I cant figure out if this is a rational way of thinking. What helpes me a little is thinking if my best friend would give a fck about thoughts (3)
Anonymous186009
psychoactive compound on or in something that I got in touch with. and it stays on me. This may be sounding far fetched. But i cant stop cleaning my dishes because of thoughts like this. Im very scared i accedentaly drug myself and go on a rampage and hurt someone. I just half figured out that this is probally ocd and i probaly am a good person. But the thought of acting in a way like this (2)
Anonymous186009
Hi, I was doing good with recovery but im really stuck. I have harm ocd and suddenly cleaning ocd. I had a big relapse and have made the choise this is OCD, and go outside (no matter what the false memories says) without doing compulsions. OCD just 1 upped this with what if something you touched (mostly food related stuff in the supermarked) is laced with drugs, or someone accedentaly put a (1)
Flaaffy
Anonymous185787
Hi my question can people have relapse seem to do this every Christmas time
Yes, people with OCD can experience relapses, especially during stressful times. I take it that the holidays are particularly stressful for you. If you've relapsed, please forgive yourself. Then, so long as you’re committed to recovery, pick back up the tools you used before to overcome OCD. Disregard the intrusive thoughts, feelings, and urges your OCD theme might conjure up.
Anonymous185787
Hi my question can people have relapse seem to do this every Christmas time
Anonymous185458
Hi, I'm new here
Anonymous185214
Not really harmful things but again, combining normal actions and these thoughts and I feel like I really do enjoy it. Like REALLY enjoy it and that I can't stop myself. The afterthoughts of these actions take up most of my thinking and I'm incredibly anxious. I already feel like a criminal despite not taking any criminal action. Is this an OCD trick or am I really acting on my OCD thoughts?
Anonymous185214
Even when I try to do research compulsions, my brain will go ''a minor might have wrote that''. That's why I haven't posted on here in fear that I may be getting help from a minor and not know. So then I try to push the thought out of my head long enough to be able to click on it without feeling like a monster, but then seconds later I'm questioning what the thought was at that moment.
Anonymous185214
Anonymous185214
I do the task with the thought/feeling/intention in my mind and sometimes I feel like I enjoy the task for that reason, making it feel like I had bad intentions while doing that thing. For example, let's say I pick up a hairbrush. I'll get an uncontrollable thought that the hairbrush is a child and instead of just frantically putting it down, I'll enjoy the thought or maybe my hand will move
and I won't avoid touching it like I usually do. Does that mean I actually WANT to touch a child? It makes me feel like I do. I get desire feelings that combine with my actions and that makes it feel even worse. I actually smiled when this happened. I feel like I want to do it again and that scares me. I've tested these kind of situations. Even when I try to do research compulsions, my brain will
Anonymous185214
Anonymous185214
This is basically what I mean by ''acting on thoughts''. My thoughts/feelings are uncontrollable and stop me from doing things everyone else is doing. When I want to do these things in a normal way, a feeling or thought of a bad nature will replace a normal one causing me to avoid doing the task altogether as it seems like a bad thing to do. But sometimes the feelings/thoughts are so strong that I
I do the task with the thought/feeling/intention in my mind and sometimes I feel like I enjoy the task for that reason, making it feel like I had bad intentions while doing that thing. For example, let's say I pick up a hairbrush. I'll get an uncontrollable thought that the hairbrush is a child and instead of just frantically putting it down, I'll enjoy the thought or maybe my hand will move
Anonymous185214
This is basically what I mean by ''acting on thoughts''. My thoughts/feelings are uncontrollable and stop me from doing things everyone else is doing. When I want to do these things in a normal way, a feeling or thought of a bad nature will replace a normal one causing me to avoid doing the task altogether as it seems like a bad thing to do. But sometimes the feelings/thoughts are so strong that I
Anonymous185211
Anonymous185190
Heyyy, I am also in Holland. (Amsterdam) I have never met anyone with OCD in here and it feels so lonely... It is nice to see that I am not alone. I hope you get better soon!
I think you be suprised how many people have it. Tip: ken je overwaal, ik heb daar mn dwang voor 85 procent gekilled. jaren geen last gehad.
Anonymous185190
Anonymous184969
lastly, sorry for strong language, In Holland swearing isnt as rude (cultural difference) didnt think about it. Its just really hard to constantly fight ocd for 3 days and then get stuck for a day because of this. It goes like this for weeks and I really want to recover and be a good person that doesnt have to contemplate if everything is okay.
Heyyy, I am also in Holland. (Amsterdam) I have never met anyone with OCD in here and it feels so lonely... It is nice to see that I am not alone. I hope you get better soon!
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
But they're not even really actions sometimes. It's hard to explain. Most of the time, it's just me doing something I'd normally do, an ''OCD'' thought will come in and the two will combine. So then it will feel like I've acted on a thought and I'll seek reassurance, I'll google, etc. Over and over again. But this feels so different this time. Because those actions weren't 100% intentional.
This was. I'm seeing the pictures/people accidently but then I'm looking and it makes me feel like a monster. I doubt all of this. I don't even know if I'm telling the truth.
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
. These real life situations don't happen when my ''OCD'' is okay. They don't happen when I'm not obsessing or thinking about them. But I doubt that because now it feels like this actions are happening less through the obsessions and more through desire. I actually feel desire before taking the action. I'm afraid these small actions will lead to criminal ones.
But they're not even really actions sometimes. It's hard to explain. Most of the time, it's just me doing something I'd normally do, an ''OCD'' thought will come in and the two will combine. So then it will feel like I've acted on a thought and I'll seek reassurance, I'll google, etc. Over and over again. But this feels so different this time. Because those actions weren't 100% intentional.
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
not anymore. I also have noticed that when my anxiety is at a really high level, I do all the compulsions, the rumination, the reassurance but when I don't have anxiety, I don't. I only avoid. These situations don't happen under extreme anxiety, only when I lack it. Which means the anxiety keeps me and my loved ones safe. Safe from me. I don't know what to do.
. These real life situations don't happen when my ''OCD'' is okay. They don't happen when I'm not obsessing or thinking about them. But I doubt that because now it feels like this actions are happening less through the obsessions and more through desire. I actually feel desire before taking the action. I'm afraid these small actions will lead to criminal ones.
Anonymous183576
not anymore. I also have noticed that when my anxiety is at a really high level, I do all the compulsions, the rumination, the reassurance but when I don't have anxiety, I don't. I only avoid. These situations don't happen under extreme anxiety, only when I lack it. Which means the anxiety keeps me and my loved ones safe. Safe from me. I don't know what to do.
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
I also remember looking at something or seeing something and having the thought/feeling\intention of actually seeking it out at the same time that I was looking. Even if by some miracle, this is still OCD, I will never be able to let go of this. It isn't a false memory. I know it really happened I just don't remember what it was, or if it was more than once. I only feel guilt and anxiety after
after what I've done has really kicked in and I feel like I'd be okay with seeking these things out or looking at things. I feel like I'm accepting this as reality and being okay with it. I'm probably the first person to have every OCD symptom in the book and then it turns out not to be. It took me a year to even say ''I have OCD'' in fear that it wasn't and I was right. This CANNOT be OCD
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
. I don't know what is happening to me. I was doing fine. No thoughts, no urges, no sensations. Everything I previously thought was ''acting on a thought'' turned out to be OCD. But this came without anxiety and STILL feels real. I feel like I'm making excuses. I feel like a monster. I feel like I'm more scared of the consequences than of the actions themselves like I used to be.
I also remember looking at something or seeing something and having the thought/feeling\intention of actually seeking it out at the same time that I was looking. Even if by some miracle, this is still OCD, I will never be able to let go of this. It isn't a false memory. I know it really happened I just don't remember what it was, or if it was more than once. I only feel guilt and anxiety after
Anonymous184969
lastly, sorry for strong language, In Holland swearing isnt as rude (cultural difference) didnt think about it. Its just really hard to constantly fight ocd for 3 days and then get stuck for a day because of this. It goes like this for weeks and I really want to recover and be a good person that doesnt have to contemplate if everything is okay.
Anonymous184969
person, and fight my ocd. And what is a proper exposure for the anxiety of hurting someone in a dissiosative amnesia state without remembering while your walking or biking. This s**t really f**ked my self esteem and self worth and im angry, I want my life back. (7)
Anonymous184969
objection against methods like this. 1 thing I know I am not soft either, I can be very Stoic in real life situations so its not the problem I'm to scared but i think its inhumane to think people can accept s**t like this (maybe if your buddha lol) My question is, what am i doing wrong; how can i trust myself without going to unrealistic methods. How can I just believe in myself I am a good (6)
Anonymous184969
the thought because i try to believe it isnt true. But I just can not. 50 percent is convinced inside my maybe something is really wrong and i think, it is unhumane and unrealistic therapists say to just accept the unsurtainty. I tried it. I just end up in a mental hell where i feel really f**king guilty about something i didnt probally do. Because I need to accept it. I have a really strong (5)
Anonymous184969
suddenly had the fear I just blacked out for a sec. (it felt no longer than an eyeblink so i really don't know if it was black out, an eye blink or nothing after all. My brain then constantly tells me 'what if i just hurted the 2 woman on the other side of the road and dont remember this anymore. I try to disregard the thought, I try to not react, I try everything in my power to not react to (4)
Anonymous184969
and sensory overloaded, wich is normal because of my autism and add. The point is, Its a theme my brain f**king loves, when i am distracted it constantly feeds thought like what if i just harmed someone and dont remember it. I am naturally a thinker, extremely in my own bubble and distracted. I was distracted by all of my ocd fears when i was biking. (Its a exposure to be outside alone) And (3)
Anonymous184969
Whats really f**ked is there is a point I just CAN'T take the unknown anymore. This is also the line where I get conflicts with therapists. I just can't live in the unknown if my harm ocd is true or not. they say don't get into dialoge with your ocd. But how can I just simply accept that I maybe or maybe not harmed someone. I was biking today, to the gym. Suddenly I had this weird faint feeling (2
Anonymous184969
hello, I want to thank for all the help. I have a question, (I am the same guy that had the harm sleepwalk theme) How can I get the courage to trust myself. It all comes back to that. I realised after some contemplation about my ocd that it all comes back to trust and believe. I am naturaly extremely sceptical and analytical. I constantly try to fight and challenge my ocd by doing exposures (part1
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
this is not. Have I become a monster? NOW I have anxiety but only since reading this back and realising this may actually make me a monster. I used to be scared of all of this. Why am I not scared anymore? When I don't have anxiety, most thoughts don't feel very real because they don't feel the same as my regular thoughts. But situations like this do. I feared what is happening now would happen.
. I don't know what is happening to me. I was doing fine. No thoughts, no urges, no sensations. Everything I previously thought was ''acting on a thought'' turned out to be OCD. But this came without anxiety and STILL feels real. I feel like I'm making excuses. I feel like a monster. I feel like I'm more scared of the consequences than of the actions themselves like I used to be.
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
because of this reason/feeling. I think I looked at them in a creepy way and I have not stopped thinking about it anxiously. I wish I could remember more clearly. Maybe I'm just telling myself I don't remember. I really don't know. I've avoided looking at children ever since unless they're in my direction, in which case, I quickly look away. I now know EVERYTHING ELSE was OCD but I feel like this
this is not. Have I become a monster? NOW I have anxiety but only since reading this back and realising this may actually make me a monster. I used to be scared of all of this. Why am I not scared anymore? When I don't have anxiety, most thoughts don't feel very real because they don't feel the same as my regular thoughts. But situations like this do. I feared what is happening now would happen.
Anonymous183576
Anonymous183576
Things have changed completely. I'm not anxious anymore, I have no anxiety on any level. I just feel alone and numb. On top of that, I am less avoidant than I used to be, not because ''well, this is OCD'' but because it's like I WANT to do the things I've been avoiding. I remember looking at a child in a picture (it might have been in person, I really don't remember) voluntarlity
because of this reason/feeling. I think I looked at them in a creepy way and I have not stopped thinking about it anxiously. I wish I could remember more clearly. Maybe I'm just telling myself I don't remember. I really don't know. I've avoided looking at children ever since unless they're in my direction, in which case, I quickly look away. I now know EVERYTHING ELSE was OCD but I feel like this