HOCD Chat
Anonymous61246
And I just can not be without my mental compulsions. It is so hard and makes me so anxious because later it makes me feel that I have done something I don't remember
Anonymous61314
I always feel like I have done something and I don't remember it now. Maybe in the moment when intrusive thought came I acted on it or I felt that I should act on it.
elsa
Hi everyone I hope y'all doing good. So I will tell my story and I hope I will get some help. I'll be 18 years old soon and for one hear now I have HOCD. It all started when I saw a gay on tik tok and for a moment I thought the whole World fall on me. I just heared a voice telling me I am lesbian too.
elsa
I cried I got anxiety and since that day I know its fake but I have that anxiety that doesen't let me alone. Since little I suffered from anxiety and kind of little obsessions like : omg are them Talking abt me, or if someone texts me I worry like Omg what this person is gonna tell. I have been in couple for almost 3 years with a guy who cheated on me and it destroyed me tbh.
elsa
And I still love him though and only when I am with him I dont feel at all the HOCD. Now that we no longer talk tgth, I started Talking to someone else but still I love him. I work alot at school, I am studying as an juridical assistante and is hard so Sometimes I even get distant with my female friends because I have anxiety.
elsa
I know I am not gay but It feels true and it gives me anxiety even when I write the word gay omg. Sometimes even the ocd themes change. I have hocd, Sometimes a fear of confessing any Secret, Sometimes religious ocd, I feel like I should wear a hijab or like God doesen't love me and so on.
elsa
I am getting kind of better, I think sooner I will be recovered but Just on the momnt when I think It's over I start obsessing about the throughts again. My bestie told me she is bisexual and I just stay away from her because it kinda bothers and gives me anxiety.
elsa
That's how I became homophobic . Please guys please please help me because Sometimes I even ask my self " what if I am" and that s**t hurts. I have no sibilings I only live with my both parents. I have everything but I always wanted to have a brother and Sometimes I cry by myself for being the only child because I have noone to talk to.
elsa
And I get anxiety too for making the accountability because what If I am not getting better ? I am happy to find Ali and her help, and find you guys in this forum. Please someone help, I'll pray for y'all 😭♥️
Ali Greymond
elsa
Hi Elsa, you need to reduce how much time you are spending on ruminating about this stuff. You need to make a brave choice to reduce rumination. I promise you it's all OCD but as long as you are powering it up it's going to continue to bother you.
That's how I became homophobic . Please guys please please help me because Sometimes I even ask my self " what if I am" and that s**t hurts. I have no sibilings I only live with my both parents. I have everything but I always wanted to have a brother and Sometimes I cry by myself for being the only child because I have noone to talk to.
Anonymous61552
I’ve been struggling w this off and on for like 3ish years and I j want to get it fully under control. I always think it’s over w I do the work then forget about it or at least I think it’s gone then it will come back out of nowhere how can I completely get rid of it and assure it doesn’t come back.
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61552
Are you tracking rumination time?
I’ve been struggling w this off and on for like 3ish years and I j want to get it fully under control. I always think it’s over w I do the work then forget about it or at least I think it’s gone then it will come back out of nowhere how can I completely get rid of it and assure it doesn’t come back.
Anonymous61552
Yes I am trying my best too idk if maybe I’m doing it wrong I only started that recently tho like 2-3 months ago I’m j so frustrated and the more times it come back after I thought it was done it makes it harder to believe I’ll ever recover
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61552
you need to actually track and have daily rumination reduction goals.
Yes I am trying my best too idk if maybe I’m doing it wrong I only started that recently tho like 2-3 months ago I’m j so frustrated and the more times it come back after I thought it was done it makes it harder to believe I’ll ever recover
Anonymous61552
What exactly should I track like time that I’m thinking about it bc I can’t actually control the thoughts coming in like only if I chose to focus on them
Anonymous61552
I also feel like I have a hard time knowing if I’m not doing something because I’m disregarding or if I’m avoiding that thing
Anonymous61575
Anonymous61552
Easy way to handle a thought whenever thought came bite your finger hard mind will process the finger pain you will get time to know that its ocd i have to disregard
I also feel like I have a hard time knowing if I’m not doing something because I’m disregarding or if I’m avoiding that thing
Anonymous61575
It worked for me whenever i was about to do rumination or compulsion i bite my finger to get some time and it worked actually
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61575
as long as it helped you refuse, but this is also kind of a compulsion, you can use it as an aid but at some point you need to get away from it.
It worked for me whenever i was about to do rumination or compulsion i bite my finger to get some time and it worked actually
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61552
this kind of figuring things out is also OCD
I also feel like I have a hard time knowing if I’m not doing something because I’m disregarding or if I’m avoiding that thing
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61552
not when the thoughts come in but when you actively try to figure them out.
What exactly should I track like time that I’m thinking about it bc I can’t actually control the thoughts coming in like only if I chose to focus on them
dwade03
Hey Ali, I have to say that your YouTube channel has been a really good help for me. I started seeing a coach for OCD around November, and starting ERP in January I feel like I’m at the final stage of it. I’m just concerned about my urge to salivate. I have other feeling based sensations but salivating is just one that I am very peculiar about. Do you have any suggestions or reasons to why it
Anonymous60949
Ali Greymond
ya sure,actually i have had hocd for past 2 months and now i am feeling better but the only thing that is disturbing me is few of the move scenes which involve things about g*y so its on the lighter half,the half that is disturbing me the most is that my attention was constantly being moved to the private parts of any person of same s*x(male) going by ,even though i have literallly no interest
Can you give more detail?
Anonymous60949
its really disturbing me alot,so 2 days back ,i went mad and searched if i find any clue,so i got to know that this is visual tourettic ocd where people dont want to but tend to look at private parts,so that gave me some relief,it was written that it ususally comes with some ocd that one has beforemath,in my case its hocd
Anonymous60949
also , recently i have been fantasing about doing those things which women do in s*x scenes(along with this i would also like to tell that past 2 yrs i have been a p*rn addict even before i encountered hocd but once more i encountered tocd 2 yrs back but it went away in 1-1/2 months only since then p**n habit has increased),its freaking me to infinite,pls help me especially in these 2 things
Anonymous24880
OK so I'm in recovery and I was doing really well but why does my head keep telling me that I'm in denial... Why am I so scared of a re with the opposite s*x why does intimacy seem so weird and foreign to me.... I just want to go back to normal why is it trying to convince me so much.... I'm so tired I've been dealing with this for 10 months
Anonymous24880
I know I'm not gay was never attracted to girls before always fantasized about guys so why do these thoughts feel so d**n real
littlestar98
Hello Ali, I think I might be suffering from Straight OCD. I identified as Lesbian two years ago and for the last month I‘ve been getting a lot of sexual images of male persons and I always question myself „Do you want to do a sexual action with that person?“ And I can’t answer the question. It really feels like I am attracted to men now. How can I tell if this is just OCD?
Anonymous61750
I am currently recovering and doing well at times but feel bad times but I guess that comes with recovery. However, I still have the thoughts but when I don’t I feel it’s at the back of my mind still is this normal also I feel nothing atm I don’t know maybe it’s normal does anyone know?
Anonymous61383
Hey ali im a male and have been suffering with this hocd for a few weeks and its gotten better, the intrusive thoughts aren't as bad but i can say things like im gay and it not bother me but in reality i have no desire or sexual attraction to other men. I've always been sexually attracted to women my whole life. Now i just feel asexual. This is normal? Is it part of the recovery process?
Anonymous61383
I know deep down in my heart of hearts im not gay i just dont know if i should feel comfortable with the false thoughts. It scares me a little and i want to whats going on
Anonymous61971
I have problems with hygiene washing my hand .floor clining n I feel uncomfortable tontouch door handle