..

OCD Help Chat 
Anonymous61900 Hi all, i always have this urge sensation to take a deep breathe every minute or second, if i dont or resist, i will fee very uncomfortable. Anyone have this similar symptoms? Is this OCD?
Anonymous278 Anyone with false memory ocd recover? How did you get the courage to stop checking when the content of the thoughts is so horrible?
Anonymous61502 I suffer too
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61900
Hi all, i always have this urge sensation to take a deep breathe every minute or second, if i dont or resist, i will fee very uncomfortable. Anyone have this similar symptoms? Is this OCD?
Hi, yes this is sensorimotor OCD. You need to constantly divert attention. Don't control it, instead go to another thought and let it take care of itself.
Ali Greymond
Anonymous278
Anyone with false memory ocd recover? How did you get the courage to stop checking when the content of the thoughts is so horrible?
Hi, I had false memory OCD and I recovered. I got the courage because after awhile you start to see that the thoughts are all the same. It's just about having enough and taking a chance.
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61873
Hi Ali, how do we deal with comparing ourselves and our symptoms to those of others that don’t have OCD? I find I’m constantly saying “if this happened to them and this was their situation it’ll likely be mine. What if it’s a sign it’ll be me next?” Been feeling triggered by that lately and I don’t know how to move past it.
you have to use acceptance tools here. The fact is that this is your situation. Every person has a health issue. Me and you have this one. You need to accept it and stop comparing. You can overcome this fully. It's just about refusing to ruminate. A least you can recover from OCD unlike other health issues.
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61821
my head keeps making me feel guilty and when I "remember a memory'" I get so shameful and want to throw up
you need to distance yourself from these thoughts, don't hyper focus on them. As you distance yourself they will start to feel less real. You are too zoomed in to them.
Anonymous61932 I get immense anxiety if I find someone attractive. I start to get intrusive images about this person and I start to think this means I have feelings for them and I am betraying my partner. I even dont know these people I have never spoken to them but I get intrsive images. How to cope with this? I love my partner and I dont want to leave
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61865
Also, how can the theme of the thought or nature of it change so suddenly and make you get anxious about the new one and completely not care about the old one? How does that work
this is how OCD works. Whatever you are putting your attention on grows.
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61864
My fear is that if I don't try to stop or cancel the thoughts they'll slip by me and manifest where I'm frantically and desperately saying 'cancel', imagining the colour violet transmuting the thoughts and trying to replace it with a positive thought instead. This has been exhausting and tormenting for me and I feel twisted up inside. Could you advise on how to deal with this? Thank you.
I find it helpful to say a funny phrase. Say "I'm not a magician and because I'm not a magician I'm going to refuse." It will be uncomfortable but you can do this.
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61865
When checking for certain feelings in rocd, does it make you feel the opposite of the feeling you’re trying to achieve? Or not feel the feeling at all? This has been the most difficult for me
Try to not check for feelings, that's a compulsion and OCD will always make it feel not exactly right, so you need to recheck. Choose not to go down that road.
Ali Greymond
Anonymous61932
I get immense anxiety if I find someone attractive. I start to get intrusive images about this person and I start to think this means I have feelings for them and I am betraying my partner. I even dont know these people I have never spoken to them but I get intrsive images. How to cope with this? I love my partner and I dont want to leave
allow your feelings to come in as they come in. You are allowed to have feelings and your partner can have these feelings too. It's normal, you need to choose to disregard.
Anonymous61932
Ali Greymond
allow your feelings to come in as they come in. You are allowed to have feelings and your partner can have these feelings too. It's normal, you need to choose to disregard.
Thank you for responding. I know this is normal and I letting these feelings be has been helpful before. However lately I got a new trigger. If I get these triggers so often does it mean I dont love my partner enough?
Anonymous278
Ali Greymond
Hi, I had false memory OCD and I recovered. I got the courage because after awhile you start to see that the thoughts are all the same. It's just about having enough and taking a chance.
Thanks Ali! When you take that risk and step back do you eventually realize it’s all ocd and start thinking logically again?
Anonymous60092 With ERP, if im not having the thought should I bring the thought back to practice response prevention? Or should I just allow the thought to come whenever it comes?
Julie
Ali Greymond
Try to not check for feelings, that's a compulsion and OCD will always make it feel not exactly right, so you need to recheck. Choose not to go down that road.
Thank you Ali! I really appreciate this
Anonymous60092 Also, how do I know im disregarding the thoughts or avoiding them?
Anonymous61964
Ali Greymond
you have to use acceptance tools here. The fact is that this is your situation. Every person has a health issue. Me and you have this one. You need to accept it and stop comparing. You can overcome this fully. It's just about refusing to ruminate. A least you can recover from OCD unlike other health issues.
Thank you so much for answering!
Anonymous61965
Ali Greymond
you have to use acceptance tools here. The fact is that this is your situation. Every person has a health issue. Me and you have this one. You need to accept it and stop comparing. You can overcome this fully. It's just about refusing to ruminate. A least you can recover from OCD unlike other health issues.
Thank you so much Ali. This kind of thinking has driven me insane lately, even opening up another OCD theme. Your words mean so much, what tools should I use best in these kind of scenarios?
Anonymous61864 Thanks for responding. A spiritual author said we need to be responsible for our thoughts because they create and as our consciousness grows our thoughts manifest more rapidly. This really freaked me out and I feel so unstable/unable to control my thoughts and by trying not to think of all these bad scenarios I end up stuck with them in my head.
Anonymous62018 Ok, so I have a question regarding ocd over long-ago incidents. When I was a younger kid (10 or so years ago) I was one of those kids who stole things. A few years ago before I had ocd I was restoring things and cleaning up the mess. After basically pro
Anonymous62018 ...procrastinating, I have in the past couple months been trying to finish them up and get these incidents behind me. However, in the interim of a few years I've developed ocd, including false memory ocd. Since I've started trying to get these past incidents behind me, the incidents popping into my head that I feel like I need to mentally try and remember what happened have just ballooned, ...
Anonymous62018 ...and it is very mentally taxing to try to remember things from this long ago and I've spent lots of time on these memories trying to remember. I'm pretty suspicious false memory ocd is playing a part in here, but the problem is that I know that I did steal some things in the past, and so how do I separate the real from the ocd?
Joe Currently the ocd has switched tactics- I am now not reacting to the thoughts as normal and now im freaking out as to why- Like having ocd about NOT having OCD. Its just using any tactic now- OCD just keeps switching its attacks
Anonymous8225 I used to hate my HOCD thoughts and then all of the sudden they kind of left and stopped bothering me. Then the other day I started getting thoughts again telling me what if you’re bi or what if you love one of your friends romantically and it felt as if I Like it? Like i used to hate these thoughts and I want to like boys. Please help am I gay in denial?
Anonymous62018
Anonymous61815
Can HOCD bring on feelings of false attraction? Like when I'm doing testing compulsions I have to look at images of girls to see if I'm attracted, and it feels like I actually might be but I don't know if it's just the constant fear in the back of my mind
As someone who has had and recovered from hocd, trust me on this. The fact that you're "testing compulsions" like you say is a dead giveaway that this is ocd and needs to be disregarded. Straight people worry that they're gay, and gay people worry that they're straight. That's how this nasty anxiety disorder works. So yes, disregard those scary feelings.
Anonymous62032
Anonymous62032 i have really bad ocd thoughts the day after drinking. I never drink to the point of black out, but I will get tipsy/drunk if I go out with my friends. The day after I always am worried I had s*x with someone and I forgot about it. I am trying to start disregarding these thoughts, since I have suffered with this same theme for years. But recently it has been hard for me to disregard them (1/2)
Anonymous62032 (2/2) since I then think I am avoiding figuring it out and just accepting that I could have been raped or had s*x. Does anyone have this issue when they started to disregard false memories? Any advice? It’s been very bad lately. Thanks.
Joe
Anonymous8225
I used to hate my HOCD thoughts and then all of the sudden they kind of left and stopped bothering me. Then the other day I started getting thoughts again telling me what if you’re bi or what if you love one of your friends romantically and it felt as if I Like it? Like i used to hate these thoughts and I want to like boys. Please help am I gay in denial?
No- its OCD. This is a part of the trick where it gets to the point where your wondering why your not chasing-- but it eventually gets you to compulse or ruminate- Its all OCD
Anonymous61815 How do I accept that the thoughts are OCD rather than accept that the thought is true? I feel like my HOCD thoughts have convinced me that I like girls and now I believe it and feel a lot of fear and anxiety making them feel even more true
Joe you just need to sit with it and move on.. you need to realise that there there whether you like it or not-- You need to accept to presense not that it means anythinbg- OCD makes it feel that way- and thats what you need to do to push through- How long has it been saying the same s**t and nothing EVER happens- and it NEVER WILL! its ALL OCD. Sit with it and do not give it attention.!!!
Anonymous62032 I really can’t stop ruminating. How do I know the thoughts are really OCD and not real? I don’t want to stop “solving” a thought if it actually is real.
Anonymous61502 False memories are hell.... Guys what should I do?
Anonymous61502 Horrible things
Anonymous62080 Hi, I am a girl of 22 years old. In my home, my dad mom and me use same bathroom. My dad always forget to flush the toilet and I have to use the same closet. I get suicidal thoughts and anxiety and stressed when finding p**p on the closet and i have to flush it and use. Can I use the same closet after flushing ? And do i have to wash my private parts and legs with soap many times ? Am i neat ?
Anonymous62104 I had contamination OCD for the last ten years.i almost recovered. But my theme has shifted to POCD. I am terrified. Can someone help
Anonymous61691 My partner is doing recovery work for ROCD. But I find it difficult to know when Im enabling and when Im not. We recently had a talk or two about beauty standards, and when I realized I might be reassuring him I asked him. He told me that in fact this was part of the ERP. So Im a bit confused, its so difficult to know what's what.
Anonymous62122 Hi guys, since March 12th I've been experiencing a strange feeling. For the past 4 years I have always had an obsession with a black dot covering my mental images Since March 12th, I have had a panic attack and I have had a feeling that this black dot has got stuck somewhere in my mind. even if I think and do something else, this black dot is stuck in my brain and I can't think of anything else. I
Anonymous61502 I am not ok
Anonymous61502 Ι have panic attack
Anonymous61502 Can someone help me
Anonymous62194 Intrusive thoughts on god
Anonymous60092
Anonymous61815
How do I accept that the thoughts are OCD rather than accept that the thought is true? I feel like my HOCD thoughts have convinced me that I like girls and now I believe it and feel a lot of fear and anxiety making them feel even more true
You have to make a choice to see it as OCD
Anonymous62299 i have horrible ocd, sometimes i can’t tell the difference. i have real event ocd, so it’s hard to say that i’m not my thoughts because it happened. it’s not illegal, but morally questionable. i continue to hurt myself, and my self esteem has gotten so low since my first obsessive thoughts hit two months ago.
Anonymous62299 not hurt myself physically, but mentally^^
Anonymous62305 Hey Ali, I am worried about my thoughts so far. I'm worried if I had done something wrong in the past and can't remember. I can't remember doing anything like that. Is it possible for people to do wrong things and not remember? I am super scared of this, I searched all over but I couldn't get an answer. It was triggered by a youtube video that I looked at where somebody did this thing and I asked
Anonymous62305 myself. "Have I done this in the past and just forgotton it?" I really don't recal doing that.
Anonymous62339 I am thinking to much about that if i go to outside from home , may be washroom (stool) is happened by me, i am worry about it
Anonymous61459 Hi Ali, I've Rocd. The thought is stuck in my brain that "Did I chose the right partner?" What should I do
Customize

To REGISTER, LOGIN or access more options, press MENU on mobile.

Please or Register to create posts and topics.

Perfectionsim OCD leading to Avoidance

12

Hey I have this theme for over a year now and I don't see it discussed anywhere. That's why I want to bring it up.

Here is a quick background:
For the longest time I had a compulsion where I would rewind while watching movies or series. My brain told me that I didn't get something right and I would rewind to no end. This took all the fun and enjoyment out of watching movies.
Luckely I've manged to get rid of it with ERP (mostly at night) by purposfully watching shows while not rewinding.

The theme:
I have a high sensitivity to noise. Specifically noise outsite my room/house.
Everytime I have to concentrate on somehting or do any leisure activity and there is noise around I get a huge feeling of uncomfortableness.
I get annoyed and can't focus anymore. This then leads me to either quit the activity and wait until it's quiet again or avoid it all together. (It's mostly the later)
It has got so bad that I just sit it my room all day doing anything but the things I actually want to do. I also get a little paranoid since I already know most of the time when the noise will occur.
The noise I'm talking about is regular all day noise like children playing outside and screaming. Dog's barking. Car's driving through etc. however for me it's painfull.

I talked with my therapist about it and it seems like it's some kind of perfectionism OCD. I tried doing ERP but it's just too difficult.
Leisure activities should be fun but once the noise comes in the anger starts and sucks all the fun out of it. It's a paradox for me.
I see no way out. I just want to have fun doing my hobbies again.

I think the one sentence about "I tried doing ERP but it's just too difficult" sums up the main problem.  As far as I know ERP is supposed to be difficult or it would not work. By doing it we are changing how our brain works. Also we have to do more than just try. We have to keep doing it. I know for me at one time I was more all or nothing but now I realize that ERP has to be done one step at a time.  Start out slowly - perhaps doing something that you want to do for a few minutes while the noise is happening.  As you may notice, by avoiding the noise things have only become worse for you. You say there is no way out, but there is a way out but it is one step at a time and of course you will be anxious and of course it will be difficult.  Be prepared for that.

I can identify with your first paragraph. I have also had the issue of going back and trying to figure things out - when reading, watching a movie - asking husband details I may have missed etc. - hard to let go and realize I don't have to have everything figured out or perfect. Okay to be anxious about it if I don't have everything figured out and perfect in my mind. - Learning that little by little, but like I said it is "difficult".

 

Thanks for your reply Seamstress. In the past month I started slowly doing stuff again. Now I just have to push myself to the next step. The reason why I'm so hesitant of doing ERP is because I don't want to overdo it or I will go back doing compulsions (rewinding rereading)

Let's take watching movies or tv series as an example for ERP. Like I said I got rid of the rewinding by watching and purposefully not rewinding mostly at night where no noise is present.
If I now sit down and watch a 20 minute episode and some noise happens outisde half way through the episode I will lose focus, get angry and probably quit. It's like a snowball rolling down a hill.
Since the noise is unpredictable it can be there for several minutes or longer. So what should be my goal here in terms of ERP? When the noise happens should I just keep watching? Because if I'm done watching I will likely be upset because I didn't unserstand something ruining the whole experience for me. I will also  get the urge to rewatch the episode or some parts of it. I of course can refuse doing this but whats the purpose of me watching a show and not understanding it? Do you understand where I'm coming from?
Ali once said in one of her videos that how you feel during ERP doesn't matter and I shouldn't even try to be comfortable. And I get that but it's so backwards when you're doing ERP on something you are supposed to enjoy.
Edit: I forgot to mention this but I tend to watch a lot of forgin stuff which means I need to be even more focused when reading subtitles.

I guess I would agree with Ali and suggest that you just keep watching and don't try to analyze whether or not you understand the movie. Acknowledge that you are anxious and don't try to fight the feelings of anxiety or focus on the feelings. ERP is rather backwards as to what you would expect I suppose.  Try living with the uncertainty of whether or not you understand the movie - isn't that what all types of OCD are about - uncertainty. You said you don't rewind anymore so that is good. 

 

 

So what exaclty is the response prevention here? Is it just sitting through one episode without pausing/quiting regardles of what happens around me?

Yes. I would do that. Maybe try it in smaller amounts of time - say start out with a certain length of time and increase slowly without re-winding. Try to disregard the anxiety and the feelings of wanting to re-wind because you don't understand content.  I would say the response prevention is not pausing or re-winding and staying with the feelings of uncertainty.

Just my opinion. Maybe others have different ideas. I am also learning.

Just thinking about it is scary. I know for sure how I will feel after I've done it. Do you think doing this multiple times (for months) will eventually break this feeling I get? I have to have faith in this or else I will just "ruin" one show after another for myself

Well, give it a try and see. I think it is supposed to be scary. If it was easy you would already be doing it. Actually, by pausing and re-winding a number of times sounds to me like "ruining the show" as well.  Like I said try doing it in small amounts of time - like watching 15 minutes at first and if you miss something or don't understand, so be it- maybe just shrug it off and say "Oh well".  Maybe the next time go 5 minutes longer. Do the amounts that you feel are right for you  - challenging but not too challenging.

I wish you the best and let us know you make out. 

Rewinding shouldn't be an issue since I put the remote out of reach when sitting down to watch something. The struggle begins after i'm finished watching an episode. Refusing the urge to rewatch parts or the whole episode again. I will report back thank you for your advice.

Hi: How have you been doing?

12