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OCD Chat (You must be logged in below to use the chat.) 
Joe disregard and move on no matter what it throws at you!
needyou Ηarm ocd is the worst theme on ocd... I find it so difficult
needyou Ι want so much to be happy... I am 5 month's depressed and I cry every day.. I want to be happy.. I miss my life I miss happy moments.. It's so hard
needyou Ι need some kind words some incourangament... I feel sad
needyou Is anyone here?
messedfornow Yeah anon I feel you!
messedfornow Lots of rumination has been present today.. mainly because my physical restlessness when disregarding these stupid thoughts that is it okay to just disregard these thoughts
messedfornow I mean is it okay to just be physically unrest when disregarding painful thoughts? Like moving your feet when trying to disregard thoughts?
messedfornow It is really hard to just stand still when these thoughts are present.. My mind just keeps asking is these restlessness compulsion? I just think it is a normal reaction to anxiety
needyou Hi
needyou I want to ask something to other ocd sufferers. Is a compulsion or ressurance, to tell your friend about your obsesseions and to tell him that you feel very sad and depressed... Because I do this 1-2 times a day. Is this a compulsion that I should stop?
getoverthis266 more like reassurance i think.
needyou Yes I think that is something that I have to stop.. But the truth is that it's difficult.. I shouldn't tell all the time that I'm sad.... I have to accept that I'm all the time sad and live with these feelings
getoverthis266 hey. i think all you gotta do is loosen up a lil bit. i find dancing effective.
getoverthis266 learning new moves and it doesn't matter if you are beginner or what phase you're at.
getoverthis266 dance exercise i pretty darn fun i tell you that.
needyou Dance is really a helpful weapon... Good idea
getoverthis266 and also telling people you're sad and all is good. no doubts about it but here's the thing. It's up to you how to make yourself happy
getoverthis266 there are different and various outlets for you to release that pent up frustration, anxiety and depression especially in this pandemic
getoverthis266 think of this time as the period of improvement where all people are busy thinking bout the future and whatnnot. focus unto yourself.
getoverthis266 and also, if you're an atheist which i leaned my beliefs heavily before this pandemic occurs, i found out that all you gotta do i have a leap of faith in religion. Pessimism only adds up to your cartlist of worries so you gotta understand that.
getoverthis266 it's the flawed way of thinking. your mind deteriorates from constantly asking question. what we really need right now is do what you gotta do.
getoverthis266 ciao.
needyou Thank you!!
Seamstress I am starting to find this forum very disappointing and frustrating. It was really helping me and I was trying to help others. However, now there is so much spam or people hacking into the forum that it is adding to my stress when I come on it. Is there not a way in which this can be fixed permanently - like an anti-virus protection etc. Please try to keep an eye on this problem. Thank you.
Kiramus Anyone else struggling with false attraction feeling so real, can someone give me any tips the last things I'm struggling with is false attraction that I've NEVER had before and like memories that I've had where I had admired girls and wanted to look like them trying to trick me into believing that I was attracted to them but I know it's not true... Someone help...
Seamstress Sorry to be a bother, but are there people monitoring this forum who can fix it?
frazer123 i have fallen off hard, the ocd is causing me to have doubts about my relationship and my compulsion is to go and see her to talk about it as she always makes things better. ive now allowed the ocd too much leeway and im struggling to stop my self from going to see her as i see it as my only option. please help
Seamstress Try to resist the compulsion to seek reassurance. Seeking reassurance will feel better at first, but it will make your OCD worse in the long run. Try to disregard the thoughts to do so and focus on something else. After little while your anxiety usually decreases. That is my experience anyway.
frazer123 The idea of not being able to seek reassurance is so scary to me though, do I really have to go through this all alone?
Seamstress In my opinion it is always scary not seeking reassurance. Try postponing doing it for a little while and see if your anxiety drops a little.
NickJ055 I dated my girlfriend when we were about 18 yrs old, and didn’t feel I’m love with her, but we reconnected and are dating again (22 years old now) I love her very much and sometimes want to spend my life with her, but worry that if I didn’t love her then, I just be lying to myself now. I worry about if I just don’t want to hurt her feelings again like I did when I was younger.
NickJ055 We have talked recently about moving moving in together and the thought simultaneously fills me with joy and scares me, I worry that I’ll discover in a year or so that I really was lying to myself but then it will hurt her even more if I leave. I don’t want to leave her though, and hate myself for thinking I might.
Melissam Hi all,
Melissam I think I have pure o and have trouble falling asleep. I had to take medication to sleep and now I’m in despair. I feel like I’ll never be ok again. I obsess over sleep and have no life. I feel like I’m dying inside
Melissam I need help and encouragement. Anyone there?
Melissam Guess this forum is useless...I came on asking for help and support and I get no answer
andrey_m False memory
Joe Melissa your seeking re-assurance... You need to understand OCD will drain you, will scare you.. will take everything away from you should you let it- You need to 1. recgonize that you have OCD- 2- start the recovery road! I am always here to help.. but i will not give re-assurance.
andrey_m False memory
Jessica cool
Jessica Hiii
andrey_m Can anyone help with False Memory?
Seamstress I am beginning to wonder if I am the only one with spam on my computer re: this forum. Is this not an issue for others???
Helmut Schmacker Lol, you're not imagining things seamstress. Ali's adding moderators to the forum soon, they should be able to deal with it.
needyou I have a question
needyou Can someone help me
needyou Today I feel low...
needyou I cry all day.. I don't feel gopd
needyou Guys your ocd changes themes all the time?? Mine.. All the time changes themes especially when I start to feel relaxed. And then boom, another theme.. It's so exhausting situation. I try to not ruminate. Oh God I need so much a little bit rest...

I cant do this anymore,ocd took over my life

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I am writing this in general discussion because i keep getting diffrent themes and it's scary and hard to tell if it really even is ocd.I had told my story about HOCD in hocd forum.I am that 17 year girl again.And i really can't do this anymore.I don't wanna tell my hocd story again. It is really annoying to tell the same crap over and over again.So basically i had Hocd ,saw two doctors didn't help.With the help of ocd videos i tuned it down.I still have it.I still have intrusive thoughts everyday along with feelings and urges it's just i don't get as much as panicked about it but i still hate it.Everyday feels like a living hell.Then i had this crush and it didn't take so much time for my obsessive thoughts to show up."Is he the right person,am i good enough,what if we date and he cheats,what if i cheat...etc" and keep checking if i like other people then if i get attracted to a boy at the mall blaming myself and comparing and a lot of crap that really makes me tired to talk about.I also had bad incest themed intrusive thoughts.I watched videos about incest fantasies and they said it is because person can't handle the problems and changes in the world so it is actually trying to return to the womb?But i don't want to be this sick person.I wasn't like this before.I don't want them to be fantasies that i have to accept.Everything sexual bothers me.I can't function.I just feel numb.I have to study but i can't.I have to go to collage and study for it but i don't wanna leave for collage anymoreLike what if i have incest thoughts because my brain is trying to keep me way from collage cause it is scared?.I lost hope for everything.My parents don't seem to understand ."Just get your attention to something else" I CAN'T! and the questions of "okay so you feel guilty but what if this guilt is you actually like this and just can't picture yourself like this"All i know is if i had the chance i wouldn't wanna have these.I like the person i am without my sick brain.I also write stories and daydream a lot.So like today morning i was actually thinking of maybe i should lock myself to a mental hospital and  i imagined actually making friends there and like my crush would come visit and he would also tutor me and i would heal and we would go to collage together etc.Yes i can romantize the idea of going to a mental hospital.I don't know my brain is weird.So like this counts as a fantasy?But i didn't feel guilt i kinda love melancholy.But then i felt the guilt for romantizing sad things.So i don't know if my thoughts are all ocd.I just don't want them to turned out to be fantasies that i have to accept.A month ago i had good feelings about my crush and me but i probably am not ready for commitment or anything with my broken brain.I don't make healthy choices and me fading away from him is not even his fault.It's all in my brain but i stayed in my brain for too long now it feels like what's in brain is becoming my reality.My dad says he has intrusive thoughts but that doesn't bother him but he claims that he has ocd.They don't get it.Nobody does.And for the past 4 years i was really depressed and i generally have a sad personality.And people are tired of listening my problems.I agree during my hocd phase i confessed way too much and now whatever i say annoys them.And i just feel i am not important or have nothing important to say or good enough because of my family and friends.And it is also lockdown and won't go to school until 15th of february.I used to be so exited about schools opening again but i don't believe that will fix me either anymore.I feel like i am drowning.My dad said i made finding a therapist a joke because i changed 2 therapists.Now they think i should heal from my ocd on my own.I can't find any therapist that struggled with ocd or understand ocd anyway.Sometimes i wish i had the courage to jump from the window.If you took the time to read or answer thank you so much i really need help.

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I understand everything you say Even the family part . I really don't know how we can get out of this hell . I also gave up on life and on recovery . I cornered myself away from life because the real world scares me and I'm just living through everyday for my family bcuz mom told me if i ever do something to myself . The whole family will torn apart  . I'm living as a zombie my body is there but my mind and soul are long gone and broken 

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Hello, please NEVER listen to people who dont understand what ocd is. Dont talk about your ocd unless you are 100% sure that they will understand that what you are going through is a mental problem. Also try not to focus too much on your ocd all the time, especially the days when you are feeling better, but also try to remind yourself that you still have it and that you will probably relapse. This is a major issue with ocd, it is often misunderstood even by therapists and so called "experts". Try to find a therapist who understands OCD and does ERP. Try asking your parents to buy Ali´s program or try to find a ocd therapist who does therapy sessions over video calls. Also look into hypnotherapy, some therapists use neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis to treat certain anxiety related issues, since ocd is based on fear based programming, hypnosis can have success in  helping treatment of ocd. Your dad also most likely doesnt have OCD and likely does not suffer from "intrusive thoughts" the same way someone with ocd does. 

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Hello, please NEVER listen to people who dont understand what ocd is. Dont talk about your ocd unless you are 100% sure that they will understand that what you are going through is a mental problem. Also try not to focus too much on your ocd all the time, especially the days when you are feeling better, but also try to remind yourself that you still have it and that you will probably relapse. This is a major issue with ocd, it is often misunderstood even by therapists and so called "experts". Try to find a therapist who understands OCD and does ERP. Try asking your parents to buy Ali´s program or try to find a ocd therapist who does therapy sessions over video calls. Also look into hypnotherapy, some therapists use neurolinguistic programming and hypnosis to treat certain anxiety related issues, since ocd is based on fear based programming, hypnosis can have success in  helping treatment of ocd. Your dad also most likely doesnt have OCD and likely does not suffer from "intrusive thoughts" the same way someone with ocd does. 

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Hello there, I can really feel the desperation through your post and I felt really moved by your struggle through this extremely tough time, especially at such a young age which a lot of people find difficult - you're not alone in this and as unlikely as it seems right now, it's absolutely normal to have these feelings and thoughts which currently seem confusing and scary to you so don't worry or feel as if it's all going wrong because it really isn't! Take some deep breaths right now and just sit down somewhere peaceful for a few minutes. Your OCD brain is really pushing you to your limit on all fronts because that's just what it does, so the first thing to do is work through your thoughts one by one as much as you can. Thoughts can race and spiral out of control so easily because we can think of absolutely anything, especially if you are creative and open-minded like yourself, and often, many contradictory images and phrases can come up at the same time which can then trigger extreme reactions in us, whether they are justified or not, and whether they actually correspond to what's going on real life or not.

What I've found to help me slow the whole thought process down and bring my emotions back down to manageable levels is to write out answers to the following questions: What am I worried about right now? Are these worries justified? If so, why? Can I realistically do anything about these worries? What do I want to do or achieve today/in the long term? Is the way I'm dealing with these worries helping me towards these goals?

Hopefully this will help to identify what might be the OCD talking and eliminate some of these intrusive junk thoughts that you just don't need to pile on yourself right now, showing you that some of these thoughts don't actually need anything done about them right now or might not even actually be a problem at all. After this, let go of the thoughts and find something you enjoy, such as a sitcom, calm music or maybe baking, and choose to focus on that, no matter how difficult or wrong it feels or whether you are in the mood or not - fake it or just go through the motions if you have to. You need to delay your responses and dampen your emotions right now and give your brain that time and space it needs to heal. If the thoughts or the urgency to ruminate about them or try to solve them comes in, stop the train of thought at any point when you can and just pull your attention back to getting involved with the fun thing that you were doing and keep on going with it. It's very tricky, I know, and also feels very tempting to try and resolve the thought, but you really need to put your foot down and refuse to engage with the thoughts, otherwise they will keep having you go around in circles. Many things in life are uncertain grey areas and it is impossible to obtain complete solutions, perfect decisions or definite answers, but OCD will always insist on black and white solutions/decisions/answers for everything, moving around to another topic even after you feel some kind of satisfaction with what previously bothered you. You have to normalise and train your brain to live with this uncertainty and choose to trust yourself to make the best out of situations as and when you come across them. Trust that everything is okay (because they really are, honestly) - OCD likes to give unnecessary details false importance and you can properly reassess your situation and restore that self-confidence and sense of perspective best when you are in a calm and composed state.

Remember, the content of your thoughts don't mean anything about who you are. OCD wants to make sure you protect yourself from harm as such as possible and that you stay as the type of person you truly want to be (go to college, not cheat on your potential boyfriend etc.) by constantly pointing out to you how you could go wrong to make sure you avoid that in real life at the first sign and keep yourself in check. Unfortunately, it doesn't realise that you have and always will continue to be that kind-hearted and conscientious person you are with a strong sense of morality, perhaps even more than the average person, without needing to be told all the time because you have and always will be a good person. Nobody is perfect and yes, absolutely everyone gets these frightening thoughts coming in from time to time with content that doesn't agree with their core moral principles (that's how we can have such dramatic and melancholic fictional novels, movies and games) but in everyday life, they can automatically disregard these thoughts and keep on going with what they were doing, allowing the thoughts to leave unnoticed and before they have had enough attention to develop further and trigger any kind of response. It will be easier to deal these thoughts in a similar way with time and experience - there will be ups and downs along the way, but this is all normal and believe me, step by step at a time, you will get better and get to where you want to be in life. You are still in the very early stages of the recovery process and everyone who recovers from OCD has felt this low at some stage and there are always ups and downs along the way, so this is absolutely to be expected - don't despair!

I would strongly recommend that you continue to look for a therapist who specialises in OCD as an anxiety condition and is familiar with the concepts of Pure O and ERP to work with you on the specifics of your OCD and a recovery plan that works for you. Try to find a therapist who runs remote video call sessions if there is no one suitable in your local area - don't be afraid to ask around on forums for recommendations from others in your area if you're unsure. Just because your previous therapy sessions haven't worked or didn't go well doesn't mean that it will never work or that you're somehow beyond help. Everyone responds to different treatments in different ways, so all it means is you just haven't yet found a therapist and/or technique that works for you - you will always be able to recover, no matter what, so please don't lose hope. In the meantime, Ali's videos are a brilliant resource for understanding how different types of OCD works and to get you started on and familiar with recovery techniques. The book 'Brain Lock' by Jeffrey M. Schwartz is also worth a read.

Stay strong - being 17 years old is such a tough, scary and uncertain time in everyone's life and is hard enough as it is without OCD, but I promise you it will get so much better. You are incredibly brave and you have made the hardest steps ,which are having that insight to recognise something isn't feeling right, admitting you need help, and then looking for it, so you are absolutely capable of recovery. Look after yourself because you're actually doing so well and deserve so much praise for how you've had to cope with what you've gone through so far. I wish you the very best of luck in your search for the right therapy for you - you absolutely deserve to feel much better than you do right now and you really will. I know you can pull through!