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OCD Help Chat 
Anonymous61502 Horrible things
Anonymous62080 Hi, I am a girl of 22 years old. In my home, my dad mom and me use same bathroom. My dad always forget to flush the toilet and I have to use the same closet. I get suicidal thoughts and anxiety and stressed when finding p**p on the closet and i have to flush it and use. Can I use the same closet after flushing ? And do i have to wash my private parts and legs with soap many times ? Am i neat ?
Anonymous62104 I had contamination OCD for the last ten years.i almost recovered. But my theme has shifted to POCD. I am terrified. Can someone help
Anonymous61691 My partner is doing recovery work for ROCD. But I find it difficult to know when Im enabling and when Im not. We recently had a talk or two about beauty standards, and when I realized I might be reassuring him I asked him. He told me that in fact this was part of the ERP. So Im a bit confused, its so difficult to know what's what.
Anonymous62122 Hi guys, since March 12th I've been experiencing a strange feeling. For the past 4 years I have always had an obsession with a black dot covering my mental images Since March 12th, I have had a panic attack and I have had a feeling that this black dot has got stuck somewhere in my mind. even if I think and do something else, this black dot is stuck in my brain and I can't think of anything else. I
Anonymous61502 I am not ok
Anonymous61502 Ι have panic attack
Anonymous61502 Can someone help me
Anonymous62194 Intrusive thoughts on god
Anonymous60092
Anonymous61815
How do I accept that the thoughts are OCD rather than accept that the thought is true? I feel like my HOCD thoughts have convinced me that I like girls and now I believe it and feel a lot of fear and anxiety making them feel even more true
You have to make a choice to see it as OCD
Anonymous62299 i have horrible ocd, sometimes i can’t tell the difference. i have real event ocd, so it’s hard to say that i’m not my thoughts because it happened. it’s not illegal, but morally questionable. i continue to hurt myself, and my self esteem has gotten so low since my first obsessive thoughts hit two months ago.
Anonymous62299 not hurt myself physically, but mentally^^
Anonymous62305 Hey Ali, I am worried about my thoughts so far. I'm worried if I had done something wrong in the past and can't remember. I can't remember doing anything like that. Is it possible for people to do wrong things and not remember? I am super scared of this, I searched all over but I couldn't get an answer. It was triggered by a youtube video that I looked at where somebody did this thing and I asked
Anonymous62305 myself. "Have I done this in the past and just forgotton it?" I really don't recal doing that.
Anonymous62339 I am thinking to much about that if i go to outside from home , may be washroom (stool) is happened by me, i am worry about it
Anonymous61459 Hi Ali, I've Rocd. The thought is stuck in my brain that "Did I chose the right partner?" What should I do
Seamstress
Anonymous61459
Hi Ali, I've Rocd. The thought is stuck in my brain that "Did I chose the right partner?" What should I do
This is just like any OCD thought especially if it brings you anxiety and is the opposite of what you really want. Try to disregard the thought.
User2525 I had an existential crisis with my account deletion ocd and if i don't delete my account i will waste my life and never get out of it i thought i was goaing crazy but i cut rumibation to 9 minutes it was probably because i laid in bed
User2525 I think i want to delete it
User2525 But i know it can't be valid
User2525 As a teenager it's hard to push trough i had a really stressfull day
User2525 I did erp harder than ever but i could not bear the pain
User2525 Now im close to cutting it to zero but i failed and have to wait 22 hours to try again
User2525 But yeasterday i cut it from 15 to 9 min
User2525 I only care about one theme at a time and the others don't feel valid at the time like usually in ocd but only for my main theme it always lurks in the shadows and feels real even if it's not the theme that i currently have that is not for any other theme why does this ocvur even when my theme switches
User2525 Not saying what if this means it's real
User2525 Also does it count if i ruminate under one minute and immideately stop when i realise im ruminating i sort of snap out of it
User2525 I could go into the borderline insane details when i was fighting ocd in bed but that's reassurance
Satori97 I have my finals in 2 weeks and just got another sensomotoric OCD episode. Disregarding doesn't help and I can't focus on the studies. Shouldn't I try to accept the bodily sensations with my awareness instead as some people advocate? Disregarding in terms of sensomotoric OCD seems like running away from the sensations. It helps with my thoughts however.
Michele- Forum Leader
Satori97
I have my finals in 2 weeks and just got another sensomotoric OCD episode. Disregarding doesn't help and I can't focus on the studies. Shouldn't I try to accept the bodily sensations with my awareness instead as some people advocate? Disregarding in terms of sensomotoric OCD seems like running away from the sensations. It helps with my thoughts however.
Yes, accept the bodily sensations as what they are don't wish them to go away or anything like that but just accept them as just a temporary symptom right now of OCD. Shift your energy into studying and other real life things to the best of your ability having the mindset I have better things to do with my life and focus on. You can do this I believe in you!
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous62305
myself. "Have I done this in the past and just forgotton it?" I really don't recal doing that.
Hi this is all just OCD trying to come in and scare you, you have to resist going back to any details regarding the past or checking whether or not you remember it. This is all false and it doesn't matter how real it feels. Searching the internet is a compulsion, stop this or at least reduce it. Focus on real life, you have better things to do than worry about this kind of mindset.
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous61502
False memories are hell.... Guys what should I do?
Make the choice to disregard all of these types of thoughts surrounding your theme and view it as just OCD trying to scare you.
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous62299
i have horrible ocd, sometimes i can’t tell the difference. i have real event ocd, so it’s hard to say that i’m not my thoughts because it happened. it’s not illegal, but morally questionable. i continue to hurt myself, and my self esteem has gotten so low since my first obsessive thoughts hit two months ago.
Hi Real Event OCD is no different than other OCD themes choose to view it all as just OCD and disregard. Real Event OCD is just an extreme version of what happened do not pay attention to the feelings of guilt shame etcc.. when you disregard the thoughts you will see the situation more clearly.
Michele- Forum Leader
User2525
I only care about one theme at a time and the others don't feel valid at the time like usually in ocd but only for my main theme it always lurks in the shadows and feels real even if it's not the theme that i currently have that is not for any other theme why does this ocvur even when my theme switches
This is the whole trick of OCD, this is good you are seeing through it! OCD doesn't care about what youre worried about or what theme it is, the content of the thoughts and themes absolutely don't matter view every thought as just OCD and disregard everything no matter what the theme! This is happening because OCD is just trying to get you on something. You got this!
Michele- Forum Leader
User2525
Also does it count if i ruminate under one minute and immideately stop when i realise im ruminating i sort of snap out of it
Under one minute does not matter do not worry about that, just focus on real life and record the time when you feel yourself getting caught up in it, otherwise keep going and focus on life. Have the mindset of you have way better things to do in your life than worry about silly OCD!
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous62104
I had contamination OCD for the last ten years.i almost recovered. But my theme has shifted to POCD. I am terrified. Can someone help
Hi, yes I can help. OCD shifted just because it got bored of the old contamination theme thats all there is no reason to be terrified choose to disregard the thoughts of this new theme. The reason the thoughts are coming in is because you had a terrified reaction thats all! Choose to disregard and move on.
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous62122
Hi guys, since March 12th I've been experiencing a strange feeling. For the past 4 years I have always had an obsession with a black dot covering my mental images Since March 12th, I have had a panic attack and I have had a feeling that this black dot has got stuck somewhere in my mind. even if I think and do something else, this black dot is stuck in my brain and I can't think of anything else. I
Hi ok so this thought just got stuck in your mind because you reacted with a lot of fear. This thought doesn't mean anything and is not true. Choose to disregard this thought and move on to real life and you will forget all about this eventually. This is just a silly thought that came in that you reacted the wrong way to.
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous61691
My partner is doing recovery work for ROCD. But I find it difficult to know when Im enabling and when Im not. We recently had a talk or two about beauty standards, and when I realized I might be reassuring him I asked him. He told me that in fact this was part of the ERP. So Im a bit confused, its so difficult to know what's what.
Hi I can help you I have recovered from ROCD myself, I am not sure what exactly the conversation was about regarding beauty standards so it is hard to say if this was reassurance or not. Reassurance would be anything your partner asks you to relieve anxiety surrounding their theme.
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous62032
(2/2) since I then think I am avoiding figuring it out and just accepting that I could have been raped or had s*x. Does anyone have this issue when they started to disregard false memories? Any advice? It’s been very bad lately. Thanks.
Hi, this is all part of OCD's trick to try and scare you. Avoiding figuring it out is what you should be doing and OCD will try and put up a fight sending you another thought saying you are wrong to avoid it. Choose to ignore it anyway and any other thougths surrounding this theme even though it doesn't feel natural. This is not real its just OCD.
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous8225
I used to hate my HOCD thoughts and then all of the sudden they kind of left and stopped bothering me. Then the other day I started getting thoughts again telling me what if you’re bi or what if you love one of your friends romantically and it felt as if I Like it? Like i used to hate these thoughts and I want to like boys. Please help am I gay in denial?
No you are not gay and in denial. I have recovered from HOCD myself. Don't pay attention to these thoughts or feelings they are not your feelings or your thoughts. The very reason you like boys is why OCD is sending the opposite of what is true.
Michele- Forum Leader
Joe
Currently the ocd has switched tactics- I am now not reacting to the thoughts as normal and now im freaking out as to why- Like having ocd about NOT having OCD. Its just using any tactic now- OCD just keeps switching its attacks
This is normal and a great sign! Don't focus so much on the switching the OCD thoughts, they will switch and eventually leave when they do. They will leave faster as you focus on real life and gain the mindset of I have more important things to do than worry about my switching OCD. You got this!
Kevin Le im becoming an education assistant and alot of the time ocd ruins my day 24.7 any tips etc? 6048392218
Anonymous61502 Anyone with migraines and ocd? I have every day massive headaches... Its enough
Michele- Forum Leader
Kevin Le
im becoming an education assistant and alot of the time ocd ruins my day 24.7 any tips etc? 6048392218
Hi yes, whatever the OCD thoughts are about or whatever theme it is choose to disregard the thoughts and as the thoughts are screaming at you go about your day to the best of your ability focusing on real life. Record the time you give into these thoughts and reduce to zero. Overtime this will pass.
Michele- Forum Leader
Anonymous61502
Anyone with migraines and ocd? I have every day massive headaches... Its enough
Yes headaches can be a symptom because your mind is basically in over drive right now especially if you are doing recovery work. Try to do some relaxation exercises to relax the mind like meditation. But don't get too caught up and obsess about the headaches.
Anonymous62485 Disregarding feels so wrong. I feel such a need to solve my thoughts but in the same way I know it’s an ocd thought because I’ve never worried about it before.
Anonymous61502 Ali could you please tell me how to recover from false memories... I suffer so much these months... I don't know why I live... Please someone help me.
Anonymous62494 Sir i am from Bangladesh. I suffer ocd from long time.its start my age 18. First time i hear some scary sound when i go sleep. Then some thought came and it start.then i visit doctor and take treatment 3year.and my doctor give me some advice. and i feel i am Fully recovered but 3 month later now i suffer very badly.my head like burn and so pain.i have vary bad though ocd and it very painful. i
Anonymous61502 How I Intedify an ocd thought?
Anonymous61502 My ocd changes theme very often.. What should I do?
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HIV OCD

Another day another setback, lol. Here in England the two communities with the highest rates of infection are African and gay men. As such I go to great lengths to avoid them whenever I can. 

No such luck today however. My Amazon package was delivered by an African male and as such, I have to remain indoors for a minimum of six days in order to be absolutely sure any blood that he may have left on the garden gate will not pose a risk to me. 

If I keep staying indoors again and don't go out and exercise I'm going to get another blood clot in my leg (I stayed indoors three months the last time this happened and had my first blood clot then) and perhaps I won't survive the next one.

I really want to be able to look at this major obstacle as a challenge that I must overcome,  but it's so frightening for me. If there's any blood left on the gate it really could be contaminated. 

I guess what I'm really asking is how do you find the strength and courage to face one of your worst nightmares?

From where the blood will come on your gate? Even if you imagine hypothetically that he was bleeding and there is any blood on your gate the virus dies within a minute outside human body and poses no risk to you or anyone.

Because I occasionally receive packages that have a drop or smear of blood on them, I tend to believe all packages (and therefore the delivery person) will have some blood on them, even if it's not visible.

As the CDC says the disease can stay active for 5-6 days,  I do not feel safe being in close proximity to anything (such as the gate) that may have some blood on it. Therefore I hide away. 

Looking back now I can see my OCD has blown the situation out of all proportion however. Always managing to convince me the absolute worst case scenario will happen (no matter what the chances are. Now time has passed I'm ready to try challenging the lies again. 

Thanks for your reply, I know OCD greatly exaggerates any danger, hopefully I'll find the courage to tackle these larger challenges and one day overcome my fear 😀👍

 

Hello,

 

I can tell by your post that you have a confirmation bias where the only conclusion is that you will get infected regardless of the facts. There is no amount of evidence anyone can give you that will convince you otherwise thusly you must accept that the only way to overcome this fear is to assume the risk. Clearly you have two major triggers: gay men and Africans. Your ultimate goal should then be to be in the presence of these people without performing compulsions. You need to work up to that. 

start by going outside after a package gets delivered and stand by the fence. Stand there until the anxiety subsides by half then refuse to ruminate. By that I mean stop thinking about the fact that you may have contracted hiv. The fear is there already stop directing attention to it and go about your day. If even this is too high you need to make a hierarchy and start with something that is a 5/10 on an anxiety scale. It should be difficult and feel unsafe but not impossible. Eventually you want to be able to stand out there and say “maybe I will contract HIV, I may never know” and then don’t try to find an answer or convince yourself otherwise! Just let that question sit there. Work up to touching the fence. Meeting the delivery person at the door and going to a gay bar or an African community gathering. 

the point is not the exposures but the response prevention. You are avoiding and ruminating. If you touch something, don’t wash your hands. You can start by not washing for x mins but work to not washing at all. 

the only way to face it is hard work and accepting the risk. No one and I mean no one will be able to convince you it’s improbable. No amount of evidence will make you safe. You have to take the risk and refuse reaction (compulsions). Write out things you’re avoiding, I’ve given you some ideas already, and rate them on a scale of 1-10. Write down what you do in those situations to keep yourself safe. Start at a 5 and expose yourself to it and - this is key - DON’T DO ANY OF THE THINGS YOU DO TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!! This includes mentally/vocally reassuring yourself or analyzing the situation. It can be as simple as opening your door right after a delivery person leaves and shutting it and then refusing to tell yourself that you don’t have hiv or looking up anything on the internet or trying to figure out if you do. Assume the risk.   Your anxiety will rise, peak, and then slowly come down. If it lasts longer than 90min It might be too high of an exposure. It may only come down by half and then linger for hours. It may not come down by a lot at all if it is a higher level. This is all normal. The point is to learn that you can assume the risk. Not that it will never happen. Start at a 5 and stop avoiding everything 4 and below! Just make yourself do those without response to them. 

do the exposure 3-10 times a day, every day. You can even do two or three at one time, especially if you’re doing 4 and below. Then do 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 with the goal of being around these groups of people without response or rumination. You should be able to greet the delivery person, touch your door, and hang out with groups of people that scare you. No one can give you the courage you just have to accept the risk. That’s why you start at a 5 and not a 10. Be committed and do it no matter how unsafe it feels or how bad of a day you are having. Stick to a schedule, do it on schedule and REFUSE RESPONSE!! Don’t reassure yourself, don’t analyze, don’t look stuff up, after the exposure you go on about your day without undoing all the work upu did during the exposure. Do the exposures even when they don’t scare you anymore. Avoidance is how ocd starts. Keep doing them. Stay committed. That’s the only way. 

best wishes. 

Quote from Guest on January 3, 2021, 1:02 pm

Another day another setback, lol. Here in England the two communities with the highest rates of infection are African and gay men. As such I go to great lengths to avoid them whenever I can. 

No such luck today however. My Amazon package was delivered by an African male and as such, I have to remain indoors for a minimum of six days in order to be absolutely sure any blood that he may have left on the garden gate will not pose a risk to me. 

If I keep staying indoors again and don't go out and exercise I'm going to get another blood clot in my leg (I stayed indoors three months the last time this happened and had my first blood clot then) and perhaps I won't survive the next one.

I really want to be able to look at this major obstacle as a challenge that I must overcome,  but it's so frightening for me. If there's any blood left on the gate it really could be contaminated. 

I guess what I'm really asking is how do you find the strength and courage to face one of your worst nightmares?

Hello, 

I think that everything was said in previous comment. You need to accept the risk. If it helps somehow I can tell you that I used to suffer from the same. I was terrified to touch something outside. Sometimes I couldn't get to the shop because the door was not open and I didn't want to touch it. I have to wash my hands all the time but only at home. When we went for a trip somewhere I didn't use the toilet all day long till we didn't come back home. Hence I absolutely understand you. But today I do not have anything like this. I can touch everything outside, I can go to the public toilet, I do not have any problem with it. To be honest I do not really remember how I overcame this because that time I thought that it is only me who has such a problem. I didn't even know that something like OCD exists. I simply overcame it. I was probably fed up of being scared all the time. I noticed that I am hiding from people and this was so frightening. I simply wanted to live my life. And see? Nothing happened. I am still here, I am alive, I do not have HIV. It has been about 15 years ago I suffered from this. Just try to ignore those feelings of uncertainity. Do not wash your hands, go outside, do not avoid people. If someone is gay or African it doesn't mean he or she has HIV. There are many non African people and straight people who has HIV among us. Please do not hide, do not avoid people, friends. Really it is pointless, trust me. And do not allow OCD to steal your life. Everytime you feel anxiety remind yourself that it is 'only' OCD trying to get you back. 

I just want to thank the guests for taking the time to reply to my posts. You have given me much food for thought and I will need a little time to digest it. I will post again soon when hopefully I've started putting into practice some of the suggestions you have given me. Many many thanks for your help and advice, it's much appreciated.

Hey man, I really feel you. I am a gay man and I am terribly scared of HIV (for obvious reasons), it's my main ocd theme. As the community is promiscuous, I have severe trust issues regarding sex & finding a partner. That was just a quick intro. 

Now to ur problem... I have made a veeery thorough research on this topic (uhm... reassurance 😅). And there are only 4 known ways of transmission (for decades of research studies): sex, drug use with shared needles, (formerly) blood transfusion and from mother to the fetus. There have been some suspicions about razors, too.

But HIV virus is very fragile, it won't survive on the open air for more than a few minutes. There are other diseases like hepatitis which can survive longer but not HIV. That means that even if u touched infected blood, if it's dry, you cannot get hiv. Actually, unless u rub the fresh blood stain with your open wound, which u probably won't, u r safe. You need to get a certain viral load into your blood stream (you can't absorb it through skin without a wound) . So you cannot get it from touching an object. Unless it's floating in a puddle of fresh blood. Same with touching people, handles etc. Unless you rubbing ur fresh wound in somebody else's fresh wound (don't mimic Vinnetou), there's no way how the virus could infect you. Same is true with the other transmission ways. If you protect yourself during sex (and as a heterosexual u have much lower risk than gay people) and aren't heroine addict, you're ok. Get well soon!

Martin