OCD Help Chat 
Anonymous85281
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Hi you do have ocd and these thoughts are all false. The fact that you feel no anxiety about the thought is classic HOCD i see this all the time with clients. Keep disregarding these types of thoughts.
Thanks Michele. I’m going through the same thing except I’m worried that I’m having the thoughts on purpose which means it’s true. The more I think abt having them on purpose, the more I actually have them on purpose and it’s freaking me out cause it’s making me think that these are really “my” thoughts and that I want them
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous85281
Thanks Michele. I’m going through the same thing except I’m worried that I’m having the thoughts on purpose which means it’s true. The more I think abt having them on purpose, the more I actually have them on purpose and it’s freaking me out cause it’s making me think that these are really “my” thoughts and that I want them
its just ocd tricking you. choose not to ruminate and disregard these thoughts. delay rumination by 10 mins then increase
Anonymous85281
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
its just ocd tricking you. choose not to ruminate and disregard these thoughts. delay rumination by 10 mins then increase
I want to believe you so bad but my brain is telling me that I’m wrong
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous85281
I want to believe you so bad but my brain is telling me that I’m wrong
ocd is wrong. Ive been through it myself . And all my clients say the same
Anonymous113613 How do I separate OCD thoughts and feelings about contamination, cleanliness etc. when we need to cautious during covid-19 times.
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous113613
How do I separate OCD thoughts and feelings about contamination, cleanliness etc. when we need to cautious during covid-19 times.
Good question, what are some things you are doing to keep clean?
Anonymous114173 Michelle I’m really struggling to recover alone but I can’t access a therapist or tell my family about my Ocd , cAnt afford text support either , what shall I do , my fear of never recovering is soo high
Anonymous114173 Ppl keep saying I can’t recover alone and I feel awful
Anonymous114173 Also Michele recovery isn’t same as cure so it means Ocd will never fully go away
Anonymous113613
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Good question, what are some things you are doing to keep clean?
Washing my hands a lot but not really to excess, but my problem is worrying about passing something on to someone else not necessarily covid - like did I touch my nose or mouth before I opened the mailbox, or did I contaminate food by forgetting to wash my hands after going to the washroom etc.
Anonymous115168 You can recover from OCD
Anonymous114173
Anonymous115168
You can recover from OCD
Recovery still means you have Ocd
Anonymous110812 Sometimes I think that I forget to turning of the light. Then my thoughts say: What if the bulb explodes and causing a fire?
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous114173
Also Michele recovery isn’t same as cure so it means Ocd will never fully go away
recovery is the same thing as cured. You can heal from this and move on with your life. Any thoughts that come in regarding the recovery completely disregard. Set timers to delay rumination by 10 mins then increase
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous113613
Washing my hands a lot but not really to excess, but my problem is worrying about passing something on to someone else not necessarily covid - like did I touch my nose or mouth before I opened the mailbox, or did I contaminate food by forgetting to wash my hands after going to the washroom etc.
Hi so lets try to wash hands for only 10 mins. any thoughts that come in about you contaminating someone is off limits choose to disregard or what if i forgot to wash my hands etcc
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous110812
Sometimes I think that I forget to turning of the light. Then my thoughts say: What if the bulb explodes and causing a fire?
disregard
Anonymous114173
Anonymous114173
Michelle I’m really struggling to recover alone but I can’t access a therapist or tell my family about my Ocd , cAnt afford text support either , what shall I do , my fear of never recovering is soo high
?
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous114173
?
any thought that comes in regarding the recovery is off limits. keep delaying rumination little by little and focus on real life stuff
Anonymous114173
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
recovery is the same thing as cured. You can heal from this and move on with your life. Any thoughts that come in regarding the recovery completely disregard. Set timers to delay rumination by 10 mins then increase
But there is no cure for ocd
Anonymous114173 Michele what types of Ocd did you have
Anonymous115175 Does your program take insurance? Or can you give clients an itemized bill for insurance reimbursement?
Anonymous115175 my therapist & psychiatrist want me to do an inpatient ocd program yet we’ve called programs across the country & none will take my insurance & trying to switch insurance is no help b/c i’m on disability. ucla says they will but I’ve been wait 4.5 months, I don’t have any money to waste i feel lost & more hopeless b/c of limited & lack of access to care. is there any trial period available
Anonymous85281 Why does it feel like I want my thoughts to be true? It’s never felt like this before
Anonymous110937 Ali did a video on feling like you want the thoughts. Its just OCD
Anonymous114191 I'm doing exposures all day however before I have even the chance to respond differently I've already reacted? Any suggestions?
Anonymous86699 Why does everything remind me of my ocd thoughts? I can’t go a single minute without having them and I see it everywhere I go. It doesn’t even seem intrusive anymore. The anxiety is gone and they just kinda seem like normal thoughts and I’m worried that it’s actually “me”
Anonymous111042 After a month of hiding in my bedroom, curtains closed and white noise on in the background (so I cannot hear the neighbours), I'm going to try to make some progress today. One day, that's all. Thinking beyond that is too difficult...
Anonymous115317 OCD has already made my life hell
Anonymous111042
Anonymous115317
OCD has already made my life hell
One day. One single solitary day, that's all. One less compulsion, one less minute of rumination, one less thing to avoid. Do one thing today and see where it leads. Good luck friend.
Anonymous114173
Anonymous111042
After a month of hiding in my bedroom, curtains closed and white noise on in the background (so I cannot hear the neighbours), I'm going to try to make some progress today. One day, that's all. Thinking beyond that is too difficult...
You got this friend 💪🏼
Anonymous85281 How will I ever truly get rid of these thoughts? I’m a girl with HOCD and I’ve lost almost all attraction to men, I can’t even think about them anymore without getting an HOCD thought. What if I’m wrong and this isn’t ocd and this never goes away?
Anonymous85281 It’s gotten so bad that it’s making me think that I WANT to think about girls(I’m a girl)
Anonymous85281 I mean how real can ocd feel? Can it really convince you want to be the person you feared the most?
Anonymous85281 I feel like I’m the only one with an ocd theme where it turns out to be true. It wasn’t like this before I was sure I had HOCD but now this feels too real
Anonymous85281 When someone tells me that my thoughts are a result of ocd, I’m not even relived anymore. I just think “that can’t be true”
Anonymous114173
Anonymous85281
How will I ever truly get rid of these thoughts? I’m a girl with HOCD and I’ve lost almost all attraction to men, I can’t even think about them anymore without getting an HOCD thought. What if I’m wrong and this isn’t ocd and this never goes away?
Honestly just accept the thoughts say ok and move on , when your Brain realises you don’t react to the thoughts and your not scared they will fade away themselves , because you are powering up the thoughts they are getting more strong
Anonymous110812 Sounds weird, but I fell sad, because a compulsive behaviour few days ago. I checked multiple times if the light was off and the door of my office was closed. What can I do?
Anonymous114173
Anonymous110812
Sounds weird, but I fell sad, because a compulsive behaviour few days ago. I checked multiple times if the light was off and the door of my office was closed. What can I do?
Don’t feel sad it’s okay x just Slowly reduce the amount of times you are checking
Anonymous85281
Anonymous86699
Why does everything remind me of my ocd thoughts? I can’t go a single minute without having them and I see it everywhere I go. It doesn’t even seem intrusive anymore. The anxiety is gone and they just kinda seem like normal thoughts and I’m worried that it’s actually “me”
^
Anonymous95606 Hey guys !just a point from someone battling for 35 maybe more years with ocd..The delay technique seems to work best..every time you have a compulsion or rumination just have a ten min time out where you do other stuff..Then if the thought or urge come again ,have another time out...untill you forget it...hard but works....the more time outs the better ..
Anonymous95606 But in between find something to be occupied with
Anonymous95606 And again ...ocd is not like flu , to take antibiotics and get cured...it's CHRONIC ..all professionals and serious scientists say so....which gives us more motive to actually fight against it
Anonymous95606 In my opinion time tracking is not very feasible..theoretically works but it's not very applicable ..in a busy day you cannot use timers throughout the day to count how long you have ocd rubbish in your brain!!
Anonymous95606 Instead of some ppl asking specific questions about their specific symptoms ,we all should discus methods of battling ocd and improving mental health ..we are supposed to try eliminate safety behaviours ...
Anonymous95606 And some ppl are here only to get reassurance...it's very bad..and it's actually what makes ocd chronic
Anonymous114173
Anonymous95606
And again ...ocd is not like flu , to take antibiotics and get cured...it's CHRONIC ..all professionals and serious scientists say so....which gives us more motive to actually fight against it
Please stop saying it’s chronic , you’ve said it before but the coaches on this forum say it’s not chronic
Anonymous114173
Anonymous114173
Please stop saying it’s chronic , you’ve said it before but the coaches on this forum say it’s not chronic
They said you can recover fully 100%
Anonymous113613
Anonymous95606
Instead of some ppl asking specific questions about their specific symptoms ,we all should discus methods of battling ocd and improving mental health ..we are supposed to try eliminate safety behaviours ...
I agree. Was that not the original intention of this forum? I would really like more people to focus on recovery and I agree some people keep seeking reassurance for the same thing every day almost. I understand their pain, but it will only makes things worse.
Anonymous114638 i’ve gone a while without coming on here but normally the feeling of ‘wanting’ an intrusive thought and what’ i actually want are different but i had an ocd want that i couldnt, i’m so scared is this normal
Anonymous86699
Anonymous114638
i’ve gone a while without coming on here but normally the feeling of ‘wanting’ an intrusive thought and what’ i actually want are different but i had an ocd want that i couldnt, i’m so scared is this normal
Omg I’m going through the exact same thing! Normally when I get a “wanting” feeling from an ocd thought, I didn’t want it to be there and I didn’t rly mean it but now with the less anxiety from my thoughts, it ACTUALLY feels like I want it and there’s no use fighting back bc I don’t really mean it. I’m so scared too and I just feel drained
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HIV OCD

Another day another setback, lol. Here in England the two communities with the highest rates of infection are African and gay men. As such I go to great lengths to avoid them whenever I can. 

No such luck today however. My Amazon package was delivered by an African male and as such, I have to remain indoors for a minimum of six days in order to be absolutely sure any blood that he may have left on the garden gate will not pose a risk to me. 

If I keep staying indoors again and don't go out and exercise I'm going to get another blood clot in my leg (I stayed indoors three months the last time this happened and had my first blood clot then) and perhaps I won't survive the next one.

I really want to be able to look at this major obstacle as a challenge that I must overcome,  but it's so frightening for me. If there's any blood left on the gate it really could be contaminated. 

I guess what I'm really asking is how do you find the strength and courage to face one of your worst nightmares?

From where the blood will come on your gate? Even if you imagine hypothetically that he was bleeding and there is any blood on your gate the virus dies within a minute outside human body and poses no risk to you or anyone.

Hello,

 

I can tell by your post that you have a confirmation bias where the only conclusion is that you will get infected regardless of the facts. There is no amount of evidence anyone can give you that will convince you otherwise thusly you must accept that the only way to overcome this fear is to assume the risk. Clearly you have two major triggers: gay men and Africans. Your ultimate goal should then be to be in the presence of these people without performing compulsions. You need to work up to that. 

start by going outside after a package gets delivered and stand by the fence. Stand there until the anxiety subsides by half then refuse to ruminate. By that I mean stop thinking about the fact that you may have contracted hiv. The fear is there already stop directing attention to it and go about your day. If even this is too high you need to make a hierarchy and start with something that is a 5/10 on an anxiety scale. It should be difficult and feel unsafe but not impossible. Eventually you want to be able to stand out there and say “maybe I will contract HIV, I may never know” and then don’t try to find an answer or convince yourself otherwise! Just let that question sit there. Work up to touching the fence. Meeting the delivery person at the door and going to a gay bar or an African community gathering. 

the point is not the exposures but the response prevention. You are avoiding and ruminating. If you touch something, don’t wash your hands. You can start by not washing for x mins but work to not washing at all. 

the only way to face it is hard work and accepting the risk. No one and I mean no one will be able to convince you it’s improbable. No amount of evidence will make you safe. You have to take the risk and refuse reaction (compulsions). Write out things you’re avoiding, I’ve given you some ideas already, and rate them on a scale of 1-10. Write down what you do in those situations to keep yourself safe. Start at a 5 and expose yourself to it and - this is key - DON’T DO ANY OF THE THINGS YOU DO TO KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!! This includes mentally/vocally reassuring yourself or analyzing the situation. It can be as simple as opening your door right after a delivery person leaves and shutting it and then refusing to tell yourself that you don’t have hiv or looking up anything on the internet or trying to figure out if you do. Assume the risk.   Your anxiety will rise, peak, and then slowly come down. If it lasts longer than 90min It might be too high of an exposure. It may only come down by half and then linger for hours. It may not come down by a lot at all if it is a higher level. This is all normal. The point is to learn that you can assume the risk. Not that it will never happen. Start at a 5 and stop avoiding everything 4 and below! Just make yourself do those without response to them. 

do the exposure 3-10 times a day, every day. You can even do two or three at one time, especially if you’re doing 4 and below. Then do 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 with the goal of being around these groups of people without response or rumination. You should be able to greet the delivery person, touch your door, and hang out with groups of people that scare you. No one can give you the courage you just have to accept the risk. That’s why you start at a 5 and not a 10. Be committed and do it no matter how unsafe it feels or how bad of a day you are having. Stick to a schedule, do it on schedule and REFUSE RESPONSE!! Don’t reassure yourself, don’t analyze, don’t look stuff up, after the exposure you go on about your day without undoing all the work upu did during the exposure. Do the exposures even when they don’t scare you anymore. Avoidance is how ocd starts. Keep doing them. Stay committed. That’s the only way. 

best wishes. 

Quote from Guest on January 3, 2021, 1:02 pm

Another day another setback, lol. Here in England the two communities with the highest rates of infection are African and gay men. As such I go to great lengths to avoid them whenever I can. 

No such luck today however. My Amazon package was delivered by an African male and as such, I have to remain indoors for a minimum of six days in order to be absolutely sure any blood that he may have left on the garden gate will not pose a risk to me. 

If I keep staying indoors again and don't go out and exercise I'm going to get another blood clot in my leg (I stayed indoors three months the last time this happened and had my first blood clot then) and perhaps I won't survive the next one.

I really want to be able to look at this major obstacle as a challenge that I must overcome,  but it's so frightening for me. If there's any blood left on the gate it really could be contaminated. 

I guess what I'm really asking is how do you find the strength and courage to face one of your worst nightmares?

Hello, 

I think that everything was said in previous comment. You need to accept the risk. If it helps somehow I can tell you that I used to suffer from the same. I was terrified to touch something outside. Sometimes I couldn't get to the shop because the door was not open and I didn't want to touch it. I have to wash my hands all the time but only at home. When we went for a trip somewhere I didn't use the toilet all day long till we didn't come back home. Hence I absolutely understand you. But today I do not have anything like this. I can touch everything outside, I can go to the public toilet, I do not have any problem with it. To be honest I do not really remember how I overcame this because that time I thought that it is only me who has such a problem. I didn't even know that something like OCD exists. I simply overcame it. I was probably fed up of being scared all the time. I noticed that I am hiding from people and this was so frightening. I simply wanted to live my life. And see? Nothing happened. I am still here, I am alive, I do not have HIV. It has been about 15 years ago I suffered from this. Just try to ignore those feelings of uncertainity. Do not wash your hands, go outside, do not avoid people. If someone is gay or African it doesn't mean he or she has HIV. There are many non African people and straight people who has HIV among us. Please do not hide, do not avoid people, friends. Really it is pointless, trust me. And do not allow OCD to steal your life. Everytime you feel anxiety remind yourself that it is 'only' OCD trying to get you back. 

Hey man, I really feel you. I am a gay man and I am terribly scared of HIV (for obvious reasons), it's my main ocd theme. As the community is promiscuous, I have severe trust issues regarding sex & finding a partner. That was just a quick intro. 

Now to ur problem... I have made a veeery thorough research on this topic (uhm... reassurance 😅). And there are only 4 known ways of transmission (for decades of research studies): sex, drug use with shared needles, (formerly) blood transfusion and from mother to the fetus. There have been some suspicions about razors, too.

But HIV virus is very fragile, it won't survive on the open air for more than a few minutes. There are other diseases like hepatitis which can survive longer but not HIV. That means that even if u touched infected blood, if it's dry, you cannot get hiv. Actually, unless u rub the fresh blood stain with your open wound, which u probably won't, u r safe. You need to get a certain viral load into your blood stream (you can't absorb it through skin without a wound) . So you cannot get it from touching an object. Unless it's floating in a puddle of fresh blood. Same with touching people, handles etc. Unless you rubbing ur fresh wound in somebody else's fresh wound (don't mimic Vinnetou), there's no way how the virus could infect you. Same is true with the other transmission ways. If you protect yourself during sex (and as a heterosexual u have much lower risk than gay people) and aren't heroine addict, you're ok. Get well soon!

Martin