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OCD Chat (You must be logged in below to use the chat.) 
Joe disregard and move on no matter what it throws at you!
needyou Ηarm ocd is the worst theme on ocd... I find it so difficult
needyou Ι want so much to be happy... I am 5 month's depressed and I cry every day.. I want to be happy.. I miss my life I miss happy moments.. It's so hard
needyou Ι need some kind words some incourangament... I feel sad
needyou Is anyone here?
messedfornow Yeah anon I feel you!
messedfornow Lots of rumination has been present today.. mainly because my physical restlessness when disregarding these stupid thoughts that is it okay to just disregard these thoughts
messedfornow I mean is it okay to just be physically unrest when disregarding painful thoughts? Like moving your feet when trying to disregard thoughts?
messedfornow It is really hard to just stand still when these thoughts are present.. My mind just keeps asking is these restlessness compulsion? I just think it is a normal reaction to anxiety
needyou Hi
needyou I want to ask something to other ocd sufferers. Is a compulsion or ressurance, to tell your friend about your obsesseions and to tell him that you feel very sad and depressed... Because I do this 1-2 times a day. Is this a compulsion that I should stop?
getoverthis266 more like reassurance i think.
needyou Yes I think that is something that I have to stop.. But the truth is that it's difficult.. I shouldn't tell all the time that I'm sad.... I have to accept that I'm all the time sad and live with these feelings
getoverthis266 hey. i think all you gotta do is loosen up a lil bit. i find dancing effective.
getoverthis266 learning new moves and it doesn't matter if you are beginner or what phase you're at.
getoverthis266 dance exercise i pretty darn fun i tell you that.
needyou Dance is really a helpful weapon... Good idea
getoverthis266 and also telling people you're sad and all is good. no doubts about it but here's the thing. It's up to you how to make yourself happy
getoverthis266 there are different and various outlets for you to release that pent up frustration, anxiety and depression especially in this pandemic
getoverthis266 think of this time as the period of improvement where all people are busy thinking bout the future and whatnnot. focus unto yourself.
getoverthis266 and also, if you're an atheist which i leaned my beliefs heavily before this pandemic occurs, i found out that all you gotta do i have a leap of faith in religion. Pessimism only adds up to your cartlist of worries so you gotta understand that.
getoverthis266 it's the flawed way of thinking. your mind deteriorates from constantly asking question. what we really need right now is do what you gotta do.
getoverthis266 ciao.
needyou Thank you!!
Seamstress I am starting to find this forum very disappointing and frustrating. It was really helping me and I was trying to help others. However, now there is so much spam or people hacking into the forum that it is adding to my stress when I come on it. Is there not a way in which this can be fixed permanently - like an anti-virus protection etc. Please try to keep an eye on this problem. Thank you.
Kiramus Anyone else struggling with false attraction feeling so real, can someone give me any tips the last things I'm struggling with is false attraction that I've NEVER had before and like memories that I've had where I had admired girls and wanted to look like them trying to trick me into believing that I was attracted to them but I know it's not true... Someone help...
Seamstress Sorry to be a bother, but are there people monitoring this forum who can fix it?
frazer123 i have fallen off hard, the ocd is causing me to have doubts about my relationship and my compulsion is to go and see her to talk about it as she always makes things better. ive now allowed the ocd too much leeway and im struggling to stop my self from going to see her as i see it as my only option. please help
Seamstress Try to resist the compulsion to seek reassurance. Seeking reassurance will feel better at first, but it will make your OCD worse in the long run. Try to disregard the thoughts to do so and focus on something else. After little while your anxiety usually decreases. That is my experience anyway.
frazer123 The idea of not being able to seek reassurance is so scary to me though, do I really have to go through this all alone?
Seamstress In my opinion it is always scary not seeking reassurance. Try postponing doing it for a little while and see if your anxiety drops a little.
NickJ055 I dated my girlfriend when we were about 18 yrs old, and didn’t feel I’m love with her, but we reconnected and are dating again (22 years old now) I love her very much and sometimes want to spend my life with her, but worry that if I didn’t love her then, I just be lying to myself now. I worry about if I just don’t want to hurt her feelings again like I did when I was younger.
NickJ055 We have talked recently about moving moving in together and the thought simultaneously fills me with joy and scares me, I worry that I’ll discover in a year or so that I really was lying to myself but then it will hurt her even more if I leave. I don’t want to leave her though, and hate myself for thinking I might.
Melissam Hi all,
Melissam I think I have pure o and have trouble falling asleep. I had to take medication to sleep and now I’m in despair. I feel like I’ll never be ok again. I obsess over sleep and have no life. I feel like I’m dying inside
Melissam I need help and encouragement. Anyone there?
Melissam Guess this forum is useless...I came on asking for help and support and I get no answer
andrey_m False memory
Joe Melissa your seeking re-assurance... You need to understand OCD will drain you, will scare you.. will take everything away from you should you let it- You need to 1. recgonize that you have OCD- 2- start the recovery road! I am always here to help.. but i will not give re-assurance.
andrey_m False memory
Jessica cool
Jessica Hiii
andrey_m Can anyone help with False Memory?
Seamstress I am beginning to wonder if I am the only one with spam on my computer re: this forum. Is this not an issue for others???
Helmut Schmacker Lol, you're not imagining things seamstress. Ali's adding moderators to the forum soon, they should be able to deal with it.
needyou I have a question
needyou Can someone help me
needyou Today I feel low...
needyou I cry all day.. I don't feel gopd
needyou Guys your ocd changes themes all the time?? Mine.. All the time changes themes especially when I start to feel relaxed. And then boom, another theme.. It's so exhausting situation. I try to not ruminate. Oh God I need so much a little bit rest...

Feel not interested and bored

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Hi everyone,

I have OCD and now experience one in my relationship. However, things very often don’t look exciting. Actually, I feel often bored with my GF, like she’s not interesting for me. And then I start thinking whether or not it is right and OK in the relationship. However, I’m also feeling anxious spending time with her and my mind is always thinking what we are supposed to do, what to talk about etc. And I find out I don’t like maybe topics that my GF likes. It’s like I don’t like her at all. It makes me uncomfortable, like I want to force her to be different. It makes me anxious because I pretend that I like it.
I started to think about of how to accept her for what she is. But it brings so much discomfort and anxiety, and break up urges, feeling of being lost, like I don’t know how to act next to her and what to do. Then I start to think that there’s a better fit for me than this girl.
I don’t know if it’s a wrong relationship or maybe it’s ROCD tries to trick me?

Any suggestions over here?

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i would say that because you are so anxious it is OCD. Try to stop ruminating and seeking reassurance. 

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Hi, 

Not feeling exciting and sometimes bored, sometimes feel less and sometimes feel a lot... this is all part of healthy relationships. You know? It's not butterflies in belly all the time and everything it not so perfect all the time and THAT'S TOTALLY OK! 🙂 

I answered someone here about ROCD and my experience, I'm still stuggling with this and it hurts a looooot so try to look for help while you can and before you do something you'll regret yourself. I'll copy my answer to that person and past it here, ok? Read it carefully 🙂 

................................."....................................

I know how it feels, feeling the same. I love my boyfriend so much and this things just make me feel "empty" sometimes like he doesnt matter, we doesn't matter. Questions like "Do I love him? Do I want to be with him? Am I in denial? Do I want this? What if I fell out of love? I don't know if he's attractive anymore, is he attractive? Did I feel that kiss? Did I enjoy our intimacy? Is this correct? Do I feel love for him? Do I feel the same way? OMG, I cannot feel anything, I will try and I cannot, I'm scared"

This last one, actually trying to see if you feel or not, it does not work, it will have a contrary effect. Just like you not wanting to have the thoughts, they will come back. With feelings it's the same cycle. However, this is ALL part of OCD feelings, emotions, doubts. One thing creats another one. It's a cycle. 

In your deep heart you know you love your husband as I know I do love my beautiful and loving boyfriend. He's the most beautiful, caring, nice, wonderful person in the word (mine of course), I love his kisses and hugs, the story we have and what we're creating together and I absolutelly love him so much, that beautiful feeling of care, of intimacy, of respect, of support, etc... this is love, love is not something you can see or quantify and that's what OCD is trying to make you do, it's not possible and that's why the thoughts seem so real (and the thoughts are actually popping in my had right now, that's normal if you're reading this your yours are popping too). And if you're looking for this, asking what's happning here, feeling all this and suffering, I must tell you that you actually feel the same for your husband too and you absolutely love and adore him. 🙂 

Trust me, I know how it feels. I've been in there for like 5 or 6 months for now. I was having the same break up urges you're having, I couldn't eat or sleep, I couldn't concentrate. I was irritated. I was procastinating, I couldn't do things I loved, my job well done. I was sad all the time even when I was pretending I was not, deep down I was suffering so much. I was googling things about "falling out of love", etc. I had severe panic attacks and anxiety crises (and I still do, sadly. But they occur with less frequency). Some hours I was fine and then they would come up like "see, you're not thinking about it, you don't care, you don't love him, you don't feel the same way" and then I would ruminate and actually feel like all that was real, we date for 2 years and things get more normal and cozy and chill that they were at the beggining. That's normal and expected, no relationship is the same as the 1st month of dating, you know? None. Relationships take work and effort. There are no passion all the time, no pacience all the time, no certainty all the time  (never to be honest, because we got no sure of anything in life even our own stuff, you know?), no fireworks or butterflies in belly all the time, it just gets normal and that's ok. Sometimes we feel a lot and sometimes we don't and that DOES NOT mean we don't love or that we are not loved. That's just how relationships evolve, they got curves, they're not a straight line. Just like life when we have good and bad moments, that does not mean we don't like to live, right?

The thing with this ups and downs, butterflies or not (which is all normal in relationships) is that for us that struggle with ROCD, it's like "proof" that all that messy wave of intrusive thoughts that goes into our head it's true but it's not. It's just the cycle of OCD, no matter the type of it: relationship, contamination, homophobia, harm, etc. Probably if you were not suffering from Relationship OCD you would feel the exact same things that are normal in a relationship and you would be like "Ok, this is stupid. Don't care". That's how people with no anxiety or OCD feels about that kind of questions that pop into our heads or doubts, because EVERY SINGLE PERSON, COUPLE, HAS THEM. The problem it's in how YOU REACT to them: if you're anxious and have OCD this will be like hell because you think you shouldn't think that kind of things because that's not supposed in a relationship (which is not true at all, everyone gets them, relationships have it's ups and downs just as life and that doesn't mean love is over and that everything has to end, NOT AT ALL). And then if you're a regular person you just notice that thoughts, you know that there are no danger and there are no worries and life goes on. That's not us, I feel you. 🙂

And I'm still struggling with all of that and I know you will see youself in my own words. That's fine, it's the same things and basically the same thoughts (oh what a coincidence, right?). I just hope this doesn't trigger you because I'm just trying to help. There are things that can actually trigger us into thoughts or feelings, you should have realized that already. For example, today I'm fine, I'm distracted working and I'm answering you without feeling triggered but that does not happen all the time. I'm not recovered, I'm not even close to that. But I got some good days now and you'll have them too. Just don't give up.

These things take time. Keep the therapy, it will help you a loooot. I have no diagnosis yet just like you, but I know I got OCD too. I've had it my entire life and I just didn't know that. My therapist just needs more sessions to come up with the diagnosis (despite she already told me that probably yes, I got it). But these things take time, you know? Diagnosis are not easy to come up with but for us it seems like forever because we want to know for sure we have that problem so it would be an "answer" and then everything would be better. But it does not, trust me. It wouldn't change anything the way you feel, just keep calm and go with easy with that, don't think too much of it, it gets ROCD and OCD in general worse. 🙂 

As I said to you, I already had OCD befora, it was HOCD and I was feeling the same way I'm feeling with ROCD. Same cycle of thoughts and trusting them, wanting to know all what ifs and bla bla bla. I just didn't know at the time I was having OCD and I didn't look for help (sadly not recomended). Happily, with time it just went away (I also don't know how but I do remember I suffered like 2 or 3 months with that too). This time is getting a little worse, maybe because of the environment of the world, too much stress, too much worry, too much covid... It can be an actually trigger to OCD people because we got more time to worry and ruminate, mainly the contamination OCD I guess. 

It's like it goes straight into the things and persons you love the most. Be strong, that urges, feelings, emotions, all that things you say? I'm still going through that too. Somedays are ok, some days are awful and I just want do die, deeply. Some days are like "eh 50/50 good/awful". But we can do this. Because in our deep hearts, we know the person we love, how much we want them and how much they are worth it. That's why we struggle with that so much... because despite all this, we know it. And we know ourselves too.

Keep pushing, we're together and we're gonna recover from it. Just do your job, keep loving your partner even if you're in a crises, don't run away (that's what anxiety and OCD want), don't ruminate, distract yourself the best you can (but don't do things to avoid thought, that doesn't work either, trust me I have tried), you need to let it flow normally, don't answer the thoughts, don't look for answers, don't google, don't try to see all the what ifs, don't do any of that OCD stuff. Everything that looks like ruminating, googling, urges, etc DON'T DO THAT, it's OCD. Everything related to the theme at this point, it's basically OCD, your brain created a pattern and it sticks to it. Be aware. 

Try to answer them with irony, for example if OCD tells you you don't love your husband, try do answer like "yup, that's right OCD, I don't. That's is." Use sarcasm (I know it's hard and you'll want tro cry and you'll suffer at first) but we gotta start somewhere. At first it will be triggering and OCD will make you feel like you're giving it reason and that all thats it's true, break up urges and thoughts and negative emotions/feelings will pop up stronger and that's normal because you're aggreing with your fears and OCD will make everything to start the cycle again, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. Keep doing the same thing. You'll have set backs, I have many many many and that's normal and expected in recovery process. But you gotta wake up again and restart THAT job I just told you. It's ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention, it's a tecnic used in therapy. You'll do that. But you can start slowly now. Recover has its ups and downs but we can do that.

You're not alone. Hope I could help with this. Sorry the giant text but I thought you were in need of an enlightenment. I needed it when it all started and I haven't. Now that I'm more into the subject (and I'm far from totally recovered) I want to help too. Be good,  Xoxo