OCD Help Chat 
Seamstress
Anonymous178601
Is it normal to feel disgust in recovery
Not sure exactly what you mean, but I would think any feeling is valid. Best not to focus on feelings however.
Anonymous178601 Can dreams feel so real that they wake you up. I dont know if I am still in part 1 or 2 in recovery my theme çhanges. However there are nights I can't sleep. So I am just on sure on which part of recovery I am in. Thank you in advance.
Seamstress
Anonymous178601
Can dreams feel so real that they wake you up. I dont know if I am still in part 1 or 2 in recovery my theme çhanges. However there are nights I can't sleep. So I am just on sure on which part of recovery I am in. Thank you in advance.
Just keep on in your recovery and don't focus on where you are at. That can be an OCD theme as well. Check out Ali's videos or shorts on dreams.
Anonymous178247 I got addicted to watching masturbation videos, trying it on myself, and my ocd kicks in. Thank G-d, after a long time, I stopped watching the videos (after they got really horrible. I give myself masturbation massages in the shower, and I want to stop. But 1) is it dangerous to stop before o****m,- like right before- when I feel it ready to happem? and 2) my ocd says that I have to do it twice,
Anonymous178247 and then 2x a week.(very much ocd things, then shower again, then if one was end of one week, and one second week have to do it agian, then it is three,, etc...) Please give me advice to stop it now! my legs and chest hurt from it, and it makes me feel like I am doing something terrible, especially because this goes against my religious beliefs.
Anonymous178422 I'm worried about whether or not it's still pocd, I keep getting attraction feelings and I haven't felt any anxiety and it makes me scared
Anonymous178601 I would say I had a small set back today. There was less rumminition which is good. I am making progress but I thought I could with stand the thoughts this whole time but no. It made me feel nausea. I also started watching more videos on youtube for Erp. I don't know if I should continue with that method of Erp or do something else. What is your recommendation?
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Anonymous178601 I'm tired of this thoughts. I want to go back to how I was at the beginning of the year before my ocd cameback. I was so happy. I will continue making progress. I just wish this was something that would've never happened. I am sure we all feel like this sorry just had to rant.
Anonymous178757 Just thought one month coaching with michelle , doesn anyone know how it works will she contact you?
Anonymous178757 Text support one *
Anonymous178757 I’m so confused i haven’t even had an email telling me any information ?
Anonymous178758 I,can apply all ali greymonds techniques to new intrusive thoughts that come in but with what's going on now I'm not able to apply erp etc it's so frustrating I've done 6 rounds of erp with a therapist and we aren't getting anywhere with this for some reason.... yes I dont need to know the reason because thatis reassurance but I want something to help me and nothing is any suggestions?
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Anonymous178601 Is it normal to not be able to sleep at night sometimes when you have been disregarding all day?
Anonymous178188
Anonymous178758
I,can apply all ali greymonds techniques to new intrusive thoughts that come in but with what's going on now I'm not able to apply erp etc it's so frustrating I've done 6 rounds of erp with a therapist and we aren't getting anywhere with this for some reason.... yes I dont need to know the reason because thatis reassurance but I want something to help me and nothing is any suggestions?
Tell ali
Anonymous178188
Anonymous178757
I’m so confused i haven’t even had an email telling me any information ?
Tell ali
Anonymous178601 I had a question. If you read articles that revolve around your theme ocd affect it more like you start getting more thoughts you didnt get before?
Helmut Schmacker Ruminating ruminating ruminating! Afternoon chaps, how's everyone else getting on today?
Seamstress
Anonymous178601
I had a question. If you read articles that revolve around your theme ocd affect it more like you start getting more thoughts you didnt get before?
Treat the thoughts as ERP and choose to disregard.
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
Ruminating ruminating ruminating! Afternoon chaps, how's everyone else getting on today?
It is morning here but I am doing okay. How are you? Are you ruminating or are you being humourous?
Helmut Schmacker
Seamstress
It is morning here but I am doing okay. How are you? Are you ruminating or are you being humourous?
Hello Seamstress, nice to speak with you again. I really am ruminating again, unfortunately. I have two deliveries arriving soon and I'm tempted to wear surgical gloves. My confidence seems to have deserted me just lately. How are you getting on? Have you made anymore progress since last we spoke?
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
Hello Seamstress, nice to speak with you again. I really am ruminating again, unfortunately. I have two deliveries arriving soon and I'm tempted to wear surgical gloves. My confidence seems to have deserted me just lately. How are you getting on? Have you made anymore progress since last we spoke?
I seem to go up and down. Some days hardly any OCD thoughts and some days quite a few. Not sure why I can't just be done with OCD. Seem to hang unto it for some reason of course because of fear - the main reason I think that we all have OCD in one way or another. Hard not to beat myself up over it.
Anonymous178601 Would you guys recommend me to stop reading news article or news videos revolved around my ocd theme to help make the thoughts go away or would that count as avoidance?
Anonymous178601 I am just really tired of this thoughts. So I am trying my best to disregard each one of them. However I know I need to do ERP so thats the reason I was reading news articles and watching news videos. However it seems that it only gave me more thoughts so I dont know if I am doing something wrong please help also rumminating decreased quite a bit I went from 300 minutes to 160 I believe now.
Anonymous178601 I also dont have anxiety anymore. The only anxiety I get revolves around the thoughts I am also not paying attention to feelings.
Anonymous178858 What type of ocd is edging? Masturbating and stopping right before o****m?
Anonymous178858 Looking for a therapist who can help me.
Helmut Schmacker
Seamstress
I seem to go up and down. Some days hardly any OCD thoughts and some days quite a few. Not sure why I can't just be done with OCD. Seem to hang unto it for some reason of course because of fear - the main reason I think that we all have OCD in one way or another. Hard not to beat myself up over it.
Don't be to hard on yourself. It's easy to feel weary and frustrated after you've suffered for so long. How do you feel about coaching? Having somebody there to push you each day and hold you accountable could be enough to get you over the finishing line. If that's not an option maybe a support buddy could help?
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Would you guys recommend me to stop reading news article or news videos revolved around my ocd theme to help make the thoughts go away or would that count as avoidance?
I'll be back online a little later, if you're still looking for advice then I'll try to help. If Seamstress returns I would definitely ask her for help. She probably knows more about this condition than anyone else on the forum.
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
I'll be back online a little later, if you're still looking for advice then I'll try to help. If Seamstress returns I would definitely ask her for help. She probably knows more about this condition than anyone else on the forum.
I asked Ali the same question a little while ago and she suggested using the triggering articles as exposure and response therapy and after a while they will not bother you as much and then you can read the whole article for erp. I believe that is what she meant anyway.
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
Don't be to hard on yourself. It's easy to feel weary and frustrated after you've suffered for so long. How do you feel about coaching? Having somebody there to push you each day and hold you accountable could be enough to get you over the finishing line. If that's not an option maybe a support buddy could help?
Yes, I have considered it. Will think more about it.
Anonymous178601 Thank you guys! I will continue with the articles and videos then. I just want to get rid of this thoughts. I have Pure o but it has never been this bad.
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Thank you guys! I will continue with the articles and videos then. I just want to get rid of this thoughts. I have Pure o but it has never been this bad.
Well done for reducing the time you spent ruminating, if you can stay motivated I'm sure you'll reduce it even further. Tracking can be a pain in the b**t when the thoughts are 24/7, but you're doing great. Keep going, amigo!
Anonymous178601 Thank you, amigo hopefully we all get recovered here soon and move on from this. However one last question for the day can articles and videos that you read be brought up by your ocd like they just keep replaying on what you read and saw. Like I mentioned it was never this bad so I never really put too much attention to it but ones I started doing erp all of that is brought up.
Anonymous178601 Its as if my ocd is trying to scare me again like my thoughts switch and then from time to time an article or video that i saw is brought up
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Thank you, amigo hopefully we all get recovered here soon and move on from this. However one last question for the day can articles and videos that you read be brought up by your ocd like they just keep replaying on what you read and saw. Like I mentioned it was never this bad so I never really put too much attention to it but ones I started doing erp all of that is brought up.
My initial impression is that you may be spending to much time on the exposures(if watching vids and reading are the exposures)and not enough time doing the response prevention part. Once you start feeling that anxiety then it's time to go about your day,disregarding OCD thoughts(easy right).If you spend a lot of time reading and watching videos, then naturally these will be on your mind
Anonymous178601 Thank you yeah I have been spending a lot of time watching and reading and I disregard the thoughts but they start to change theme and go through everything that I have watched and read as well
Anonymous178601 However I still disregard for the whole day sometimes i end up doing a compulsion or rumminition but its getting better I believe but I just wanted to be sure that was something that tends to happen within an ocd theme I appreciate you guys
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Blood contamination

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Hi all,

I'm so glad I found this forum tonight. I don't know anyone near me who suffers from OCD and I don't want to burden my boyfriend with it too much. As I mentioned in the chat, I have been suffering contamination fear around blood, eversince my fear of covid has dropped (which I'm so proud of). I try to be very rational about blood. I work in a nursing home for elderly people with dementia, so I see blood on a daily basis almost. I'm not afraid to look at it. However, I am afraid of the following things:

  • Not cleaning it up well enough;
  • Contaminating others with my own blood;
  • The fact that the residents probably walk around with blood on their hands, from small wounds etc. and touch doorknobs and other things;
  • Contaminate myself, get sick and then contaminate others. I'm not afraid of being ill, but I would feel responsible for getting someone else sick;
  • A lot of blood-borne diseases are dormant and won't be noticed until the person is very sick, Hepatitis B for example.

An example of a situation I recently encountered: A colleague brought her baby to the nursing home while she was still on het maternity leave. A resident had a nosebleed, the day before she was even hospitalized for it. For a couple of day, she still had residual blood under her nose, which she would touch frequently. So the chance of her getting blood on her hands was very high. Around the same time, I was afraid this lady might have AIDS (because of a picture about it in her room). I looked up how this disease would transmit and found out you can't get it from touching something with blood on it. I'm terrified she might have had some kind of disease, touched the baby and the baby would then lick his hands, which they often do, and ingest the blood and get sick. For some diseases, this would be a way to transmit the disease. For others, like AIDS, there has to be a wound.

I'm fairly sure she touched the baby. But at the time I was only worried about AIDS and now I'm afraid I let her touch the baby even with (a little) blood on her hands, which she probably had because of her nosebleed, because I deemed it safe. But now, a couple of months later I'm suddenly very scared because of other blood-borne diseases. 

I'm not sure what happened anymore, who was there as well, if she even touched the baby. I feel compelled to tell the mother because I feel we should all be cautious around blood. There are a number of diseases which are totally invisible but can be deadly later on in life. And they often go undiscovered until it's too late. But on the other side, I feel like it's the mothers job to protect her child. If the woman had a lot of blood, I think we would all have seen it. But I'm also afraid I didn't react because I was only focussing on if she had AIDS, and it would not have been dangerous to have touched the baby (though it would have been gross ofcourse). Blood-borne diseases aren't rare, but not common either. I just feel guilty for not reacting in a certain way back then. And I'm not sure if I should just ask/tell the mother now. It feels weird to do that after months. But it also feels very dangerous.

I hope someone can help me solve this in a good way. Or maybe someone recognizes this. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

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I feel your pain. I have been through a lot of the same situations as you have and it was before I knew how OCD really worked and how to do ERP. I also was more afraid of causing harm to someone else more than illness to myself and would have extreme guilt and fear which would consume me. Some things I would suggest - difficult as they may be. Stop researching various illnesses - it will only make things worse, as you probably already know. Realize that we really have  little control in life - some, but not as much as we think. Don't ask for reassurance. It may feel good for a minute and reduce the guilt and fear, but OCD will only find something else for you to think about.  Right now you feel responsible for every scenario which is also part of OCD. 

Try to let the scary thoughts and feelings be there but go on with your life. It will not be easy, but after a while things will get better and the anxiety will reduce.  It sounds like you are like many people who have OCD - a caring and loving person who feels over-responsible for others so OCD has latched unto this situation. 

Let me know how you are doing in the future and realize that you are not alone.

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Thank you for your kind answer! Researching illnesses certainly makes it worse. And we can't control everything in life. That's what helped me get rid of a lot of compulsions and anxiety around covid-related OCD. Just accepting I can't control it. It was really hard but I've come out on the other end about that theme and I'm so proud of it. 

And even though I can't get rid of the feeling that I'm doing something awful if I don't tell the mother about this situation. But thinking about it and asking reassurance doesn't make it better (even worse). So I guess I'll have to sit with this feeling and let it reduce naturally.

I'm also moving together with my fiancee into our first bought house. I'm so afraid the anxiety about this thought with the blood will spoil the move for me, making me think about it constantly. Luckily I have an appointment with my therapist a couple of days before. 

I'll keep you updated on how it goes. It's great to be able to talk someone who 100% knows what I'm going through.

Just wondering about you nickname, do you sew as well? It's one of my favourite hobbies, which I've pushed aside because of the anxiety for far too long. I finally bought some fabric to start on some new projects. I often wait to start on these things until i feel 'better'. But I guess it's better to just start with it anyway.

Have a nice day/evening where you are!

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I used to sew quite a bit and even had a business where I sewed drapes,  cushions etc. and I was a seamstress at a retail store. Have gone unto other things now and mainly knit and don't hardly sew at all,  but I have just kept this nickname.