OCD Help Chat 
Anonymous85281 Hey question about intrusive thoughts. I don’t get much anxiety anymore just a few panic attacks here and there but I still get HOCD thoughts. Now they are just irritating and I want them to go away but I’m worried abt the no anxiety. Is this still an intrusive thought? How do u know?
Anonymous101495 Thanks a lot christa
Anonymous101495
Anonymous85281
Hey question about intrusive thoughts. I don’t get much anxiety anymore just a few panic attacks here and there but I still get HOCD thoughts. Now they are just irritating and I want them to go away but I’m worried abt the no anxiety. Is this still an intrusive thought? How do u know?
I live the same period.
Anonymous101318
Christa
Try to look and evaluate what you are doing. Any type of reassaurance behaviors or worrying or self reasaurance or rumination keeps ocd alive. Hoe long have you been doing erp? Depending on how long you have been doing it may feel like its not working the first month
I think it's the mental rituals but I aren't sure. The mental rituals are making me do things I don't want to
Anonymous101318
Anonymous101318
I think it's the mental rituals but I aren't sure. The mental rituals are making me do things I don't want to
I've been doing erp for 6 months
Anonymous85281
Anonymous85281
Hey question about intrusive thoughts. I don’t get much anxiety anymore just a few panic attacks here and there but I still get HOCD thoughts. Now they are just irritating and I want them to go away but I’m worried abt the no anxiety. Is this still an intrusive thought? How do u know?
^^^^^
Anonymous101548 My ocd is making it hard to live
Christa
Anonymous85281
Hey question about intrusive thoughts. I don’t get much anxiety anymore just a few panic attacks here and there but I still get HOCD thoughts. Now they are just irritating and I want them to go away but I’m worried abt the no anxiety. Is this still an intrusive thought? How do u know?
Yes this is still ocd this is actually very common and normal in the ocd recovery process the thoughts will go away eventually its just still sending it to u cause u reacted with fear at first and ur brain took it as such a danger at first
Christa
Anonymous101318
I think it's the mental rituals but I aren't sure. The mental rituals are making me do things I don't want to
Thats the thing you need to stop doing the mental rituals and just sit with the anxiety and thought
Christa
Anonymous101495
Thanks a lot christa
No problem
Anonymous85281
Christa
Yes this is still ocd this is actually very common and normal in the ocd recovery process the thoughts will go away eventually its just still sending it to u cause u reacted with fear at first and ur brain took it as such a danger at first
Thank you. I get so scared that I’m just in denial and this is my reality. Ppl say that you would know if you were in denial. Is that true?
Christa
Anonymous85281
Thank you. I get so scared that I’m just in denial and this is my reality. Ppl say that you would know if you were in denial. Is that true?
No problem i have this issue alot too
Anonymous101054 Does Anyone have any Advice on how to Handle Uncertainty? Because I Literally Cannot, My Brain Automatically chooses a Bias and if I don't have a hint of "Maybe Not" then I Automatically Assume the Worst and then I feel like it's Actually True and I get Really Depressed and Stressed, Anyone know how to Handle this or Not do this?
Anonymous101054 Also, OCD can Distort Memories Right? Cause I Remembered I had a Thought about a Friend a while ago, and i don't even remember if I was going through my OCD wave back then, I don't think I was, and I Don't Remember Exactly what it was or what I was feeling or why I did it or if it even happened, but it Really Feels like it did, but it just doesn't make sense-
Anonymous101054 -like Why TF would I think that and Not Freak out, if it Actually Did Happen, even if I didn't have OCD it should've Freaked Me Out, cause it was GROSS, like it Triggers My POCD rn, which is why I Don't know if it Actually Happened or what the Context was or why I thought it, maybe it was in the context of something else, cause it would've freaked me out even back then
Anonymous101054 It Feels like I would've but at the same time it doesn't, idk it's really weird and Confusing and Terrifying, and Disgusting, this is All tied Together cause I just had a Panic Attack rn, and Head is Fricking Throbbing and I Feel Incredibly Horrible, and Disgusted in Myself And I even got Furious with Myself, like why TF would I Not React, if it Did Happen?!
Anonymous101054 Also some details make me feel like I remember actually thinking it and some don't, especially when I look at it overall, there would've been no reason, except just being weird, but I also have a Very Terrible Self Esteem and thats Not Too Unbelievable for Me so, Yeah it's Scary and I have a Massive Headache, I cant even see straight
Anonymous101054 I Have Very Severe OCD, Cognitive Distortions, and Terrible Self-Esteem and am Very Unhappy With Myself, I Don't Know how to go about this, Does Anyone have Any Advice?
Anonymous101054 I also Feel like it's Made Especially Harder for Myself to Deal with Personally, because as a kid I got hit in the Head with a pointy plastic and had to get stitches and I feel like that Messed up some stuff, especially with Cognitive Control, like I Legitimately could Believe Everything My OCD Tells me Sometimes, and not be able to tell the Difference
Anonymous101054 And My OCD has A Lot to work with, since I have a Terrible Self-esteem and have always seen Myself as Bad and Dirty and Too Sexual, (And Unfortunately My OCD is sexual) as I've said before, maybe because I am Hormonal rn, or because I was born in a Religious Family, or Because it's true? Idk, but I was always unhappy with myself and Feel like I Actually Do Need to change some stuff about Myself
Anonymous101054 All of this Makes it Incredibly Difficult for Me to Deal with, I have Not Considered Suicide Yet, and Hope I Won't Have to, but I have thought it would be Easier if I was Dead, but I just want to Live Normally, i don't want to say again, because My OCD has made me Realize a lot of Flaws and Weird things I did, and a Lot of Repression, but I just want to Improve Myself, Move on, and be Truly Happy
Anonymous101054 Not to Mention I Can't Handle Stress like at All, and I would always try to be a Very Laid Back and Relaxed and Mostly Positive guy
Anonymous101054 Anyways I Need Help but I'm Too Broke and I Don't want to tell my Family what specific type of OCD I have Because it's a Terrible one, and I Feel Shame and Self Hating because I HAVE done some weird things in the past and get a lot of weird thoughts, even when I wasn't stDoes Anyone have Any Advice
Anonymous101054 *Struggling with my OCD, Not Terrible ones like My OCD, but these aspects of myself Really Don't Help nor make me feel any better about myself
Anonymous101054 Any Advice?
Anonymous101054 Sorry for My Essay, I know this is A LOT to take in, I just needed to Vent, cause I just had a Panic attack, Sorry for Spamming this Forum.
Anonymous101554 I am going through instrusive thought compulsions and those thoughts make me feel very bad about myself . Like I am a sick person to get such thoughts randomly also be it about my family friend or anyone . Most of all I fear God will punish me by making those thoughts real and I keep saying Sorry all the time
Anonymous101554 It feels so real , those voices like as if I really want such things to happen . I feel myself to be a bad person
Anonymous101054 Going back to the thing I asked about how to handle Uncertainty, sometimes Uncertainty and trying to accept that it may be or may be not, makes me kind of feel like I'm lying to myself or are in Denial
Anonymous101334
Anonymous101054
Going back to the thing I asked about how to handle Uncertainty, sometimes Uncertainty and trying to accept that it may be or may be not, makes me kind of feel like I'm lying to myself or are in Denial
That feeling should also try to be disregarded I think. Im not expert but i believe that you should focus on not trying to find an answer or testing when you get the thought. Stand in the uncertainty of the neutral grey area and focus on whats in front of you
Anonymous85281 How do you get over the denial obsession? I’m too scared to get treatment bc I’m worried I’m in denial. I can’t fake that leap of faith unless I know I’m not. Do you think I would know if I was in denial?
Anonymous85281 Like I don’t want these thoughts and I don’t want to be this person but then a voice in the back of my head is screaming “do you??” “Maybe you just can’t accept that this is you reality”
Anonymous101584 I have harm ocd and I’ve feared over the last year that I don’t have remorse, I use to be super remorseful before ocd, but everytime a situation appears that’s bad where remorse should happen my first Insitict is to analyse/force remorse out, is it this something else or am I a psycho😳
Anonymous101584 Too add: I never feel extreme remorse only just a little at times if not none
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network) Hi I am online now to answer questions
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous101584
Too add: I never feel extreme remorse only just a little at times if not none
Hi this is just ocd twisting it. Any thoughts that come in surrounding your theme view it as off limits
Anonymous101600
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Hi this is just ocd twisting it. Any thoughts that come in surrounding your theme view it as off limits
Thanks, because I’ve always viewed once I feel remorse I know I’m not evil and I recovered for the last year but never fully I always still analysed my feelings during situation I could always cry etc but never felt bad over soemthing and I’ve done even thought I wanted to, what do I do to recover
Anonymous101600 Over something that I’ve done or a situation the requires me to e.g a friend being sad. I’ve tried to feel bad and wanted to feel bad but I couldn’t and if I could very little
Christa
Anonymous85281
Thank you. I get so scared that I’m just in denial and this is my reality. Ppl say that you would know if you were in denial. Is that true?
No in fact that is the opposite. Denial is an unconsious feeling. Therefore to be in denial you arent aware that you are in denial. For example during quarantine I thought we would go back to normal by june and everyone told me that it wasnt true but i still believed it even though deep down I knew they were right. Looking back I see it was denial but I didnt know at the time
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous101600
Over something that I’ve done or a situation the requires me to e.g a friend being sad. I’ve tried to feel bad and wanted to feel bad but I couldn’t and if I could very little
you have to stop checking if you feel remorse this makes ocd worse. you have to show your brain these thoughts about the remorse dont matter by refusing rumination and compulsions
Christa
Anonymous101054
Does Anyone have any Advice on how to Handle Uncertainty? Because I Literally Cannot, My Brain Automatically chooses a Bias and if I don't have a hint of "Maybe Not" then I Automatically Assume the Worst and then I feel like it's Actually True and I get Really Depressed and Stressed, Anyone know how to Handle this or Not do this?
You have to accept the fact that sometimes you just dont know and thats okay. If everything was 100% knowledge and you know your fears werent true you wouldnt have ocd. People without ocd are certain they arent like a killer or a p3do but if you have ocd its hard to be certain cause you are always doubting. So just look it at as ocd is making me not know right now so i dont know so what.
Christa
Anonymous101054
Also, OCD can Distort Memories Right? Cause I Remembered I had a Thought about a Friend a while ago, and i don't even remember if I was going through my OCD wave back then, I don't think I was, and I Don't Remember Exactly what it was or what I was feeling or why I did it or if it even happened, but it Really Feels like it did, but it just doesn't make sense-
Yes ocd can distort memories
Christa
Anonymous101054
-like Why TF would I think that and Not Freak out, if it Actually Did Happen, even if I didn't have OCD it should've Freaked Me Out, cause it was GROSS, like it Triggers My POCD rn, which is why I Don't know if it Actually Happened or what the Context was or why I thought it, maybe it was in the context of something else, cause it would've freaked me out even back then
Trust me this is all ocd just twisting your memories trying to scare you into reaction. Disregard
Anonymous101600
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
you have to stop checking if you feel remorse this makes ocd worse. you have to show your brain these thoughts about the remorse dont matter by refusing rumination and compulsions
Thanks Michele, jsut to ask and through not analysing how I feel in a situation or tryna feel for a certain emotion I’ll start to feel it naturally?
Christa
Anonymous101054
Also some details make me feel like I remember actually thinking it and some don't, especially when I look at it overall, there would've been no reason, except just being weird, but I also have a Very Terrible Self Esteem and thats Not Too Unbelievable for Me so, Yeah it's Scary and I have a Massive Headache, I cant even see straight
Everything you described is extremely common in ocd its all a trick. You need to stop getting so afraid of it and instead view it as content
Christa
Anonymous101054
Anyways I Need Help but I'm Too Broke and I Don't want to tell my Family what specific type of OCD I have Because it's a Terrible one, and I Feel Shame and Self Hating because I HAVE done some weird things in the past and get a lot of weird thoughts, even when I wasn't stDoes Anyone have Any Advice
You can help yourself. I suffer from sexual ocd and look at me i am recovering all by myself. I see you are on the chat alot though which is not good. Try to limit how much you ask for reassaurance. I get it though i was just like you
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous101600
Thanks Michele, jsut to ask and through not analysing how I feel in a situation or tryna feel for a certain emotion I’ll start to feel it naturally?
do not analyze or check how you feel view it as "whatever" as you keep going youll start to feel it naturally again. its the perfectionism also your obsessing about feeling perfectly remorseful or else youre a bad person this is classic ocd
Christa
Anonymous85281
Like I don’t want these thoughts and I don’t want to be this person but then a voice in the back of my head is screaming “do you??” “Maybe you just can’t accept that this is you reality”
Hi! This is really common in ocd. Whenever a question of wether you are in denial or not or an arguement going on in your head respond back with you know what nice try ocd. You are making up a story to get me scared but im not budging
Anonymous101600
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
do not analyze or check how you feel view it as "whatever" as you keep going youll start to feel it naturally again. its the perfectionism also your obsessing about feeling perfectly remorseful or else youre a bad person this is classic ocd
Thanks Michele the work you guys do truely saves lives ❤️
Michele- Recovery Coach(book private text support through OCD recovery network)
Anonymous101600
Thanks Michele the work you guys do truely saves lives ❤️
thank you for the kind words. I wish you all the best. if you want to sign up for text support i am taking new clients
Customize

To REGISTER, LOGIN or access more options, press MENU on mobile.

Please or Register to create posts and topics.

Blood contamination

Hi all,

I'm so glad I found this forum tonight. I don't know anyone near me who suffers from OCD and I don't want to burden my boyfriend with it too much. As I mentioned in the chat, I have been suffering contamination fear around blood, eversince my fear of covid has dropped (which I'm so proud of). I try to be very rational about blood. I work in a nursing home for elderly people with dementia, so I see blood on a daily basis almost. I'm not afraid to look at it. However, I am afraid of the following things:

  • Not cleaning it up well enough;
  • Contaminating others with my own blood;
  • The fact that the residents probably walk around with blood on their hands, from small wounds etc. and touch doorknobs and other things;
  • Contaminate myself, get sick and then contaminate others. I'm not afraid of being ill, but I would feel responsible for getting someone else sick;
  • A lot of blood-borne diseases are dormant and won't be noticed until the person is very sick, Hepatitis B for example.

An example of a situation I recently encountered: A colleague brought her baby to the nursing home while she was still on het maternity leave. A resident had a nosebleed, the day before she was even hospitalized for it. For a couple of day, she still had residual blood under her nose, which she would touch frequently. So the chance of her getting blood on her hands was very high. Around the same time, I was afraid this lady might have AIDS (because of a picture about it in her room). I looked up how this disease would transmit and found out you can't get it from touching something with blood on it. I'm terrified she might have had some kind of disease, touched the baby and the baby would then lick his hands, which they often do, and ingest the blood and get sick. For some diseases, this would be a way to transmit the disease. For others, like AIDS, there has to be a wound.

I'm fairly sure she touched the baby. But at the time I was only worried about AIDS and now I'm afraid I let her touch the baby even with (a little) blood on her hands, which she probably had because of her nosebleed, because I deemed it safe. But now, a couple of months later I'm suddenly very scared because of other blood-borne diseases. 

I'm not sure what happened anymore, who was there as well, if she even touched the baby. I feel compelled to tell the mother because I feel we should all be cautious around blood. There are a number of diseases which are totally invisible but can be deadly later on in life. And they often go undiscovered until it's too late. But on the other side, I feel like it's the mothers job to protect her child. If the woman had a lot of blood, I think we would all have seen it. But I'm also afraid I didn't react because I was only focussing on if she had AIDS, and it would not have been dangerous to have touched the baby (though it would have been gross ofcourse). Blood-borne diseases aren't rare, but not common either. I just feel guilty for not reacting in a certain way back then. And I'm not sure if I should just ask/tell the mother now. It feels weird to do that after months. But it also feels very dangerous.

I hope someone can help me solve this in a good way. Or maybe someone recognizes this. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

I feel your pain. I have been through a lot of the same situations as you have and it was before I knew how OCD really worked and how to do ERP. I also was more afraid of causing harm to someone else more than illness to myself and would have extreme guilt and fear which would consume me. Some things I would suggest - difficult as they may be. Stop researching various illnesses - it will only make things worse, as you probably already know. Realize that we really have  little control in life - some, but not as much as we think. Don't ask for reassurance. It may feel good for a minute and reduce the guilt and fear, but OCD will only find something else for you to think about.  Right now you feel responsible for every scenario which is also part of OCD. 

Try to let the scary thoughts and feelings be there but go on with your life. It will not be easy, but after a while things will get better and the anxiety will reduce.  It sounds like you are like many people who have OCD - a caring and loving person who feels over-responsible for others so OCD has latched unto this situation. 

Let me know how you are doing in the future and realize that you are not alone.

Thank you for your kind answer! Researching illnesses certainly makes it worse. And we can't control everything in life. That's what helped me get rid of a lot of compulsions and anxiety around covid-related OCD. Just accepting I can't control it. It was really hard but I've come out on the other end about that theme and I'm so proud of it. 

And even though I can't get rid of the feeling that I'm doing something awful if I don't tell the mother about this situation. But thinking about it and asking reassurance doesn't make it better (even worse). So I guess I'll have to sit with this feeling and let it reduce naturally.

I'm also moving together with my fiancee into our first bought house. I'm so afraid the anxiety about this thought with the blood will spoil the move for me, making me think about it constantly. Luckily I have an appointment with my therapist a couple of days before. 

I'll keep you updated on how it goes. It's great to be able to talk someone who 100% knows what I'm going through.

Just wondering about you nickname, do you sew as well? It's one of my favourite hobbies, which I've pushed aside because of the anxiety for far too long. I finally bought some fabric to start on some new projects. I often wait to start on these things until i feel 'better'. But I guess it's better to just start with it anyway.

Have a nice day/evening where you are!

I used to sew quite a bit and even had a business where I sewed drapes,  cushions etc. and I was a seamstress at a retail store. Have gone unto other things now and mainly knit and don't hardly sew at all,  but I have just kept this nickname.