OCD Help Chat 
Anonymous67461 I wonder how michele is doing she hasnt been on in awhile. If you guys have any questions i am in ocd recovery right now
Anonymous62972 can someone help me?
Anonymous71643
Anonymous67461
Basically u get these thoughts only about her because u care abt her so much. Ocd attacks what we care about. Ocd can attack anything but it can specifically go towards ppl we love since we care about them so deeply.
But how do i get rid of the bs.
Anonymous67461
Anonymous71635
How do you know for sure with pocd that the anxiety isn't real. Deep down i know it's not real but my mind says constantly but what if it was? The fake attraction feels really real.
Ok listen. U will never know. The fact that u are looking for certainty is just more proof of ocd going on. U are looking for certainty which is impossible. There is legit no certainty in anything. The only thing u can do is chose to treat it as ocd even if it feels wrong and keep going with recovery. Ik its hard as a fellow pocd sufferer it is torture. But u can do it.
Anonymous67461
Anonymous71643
But how do i get rid of the bs.
U have to stop reacting
Anonymous67461
Anonymous67461
Ok listen. U will never know. The fact that u are looking for certainty is just more proof of ocd going on. U are looking for certainty which is impossible. There is legit no certainty in anything. The only thing u can do is chose to treat it as ocd even if it feels wrong and keep going with recovery. Ik its hard as a fellow pocd sufferer it is torture. But u can do it.
Also once u disregard little by little u will feel better and look back and be like oh yea that was just ocd.
Anonymous67461 If u are on this chat in the first place trust me its ocd. Ppl who are actually awful wouldnt be analyzing or worrying this hard abt thoughts,sensations, urges, feelings, etc
Anonymous67461
Anonymous69423
I hate that my compulsion more is having to say “I’m straight” to have a normal day. Idk why I feel if I don’t say it I won’t be who I was anymore. It sounds stupid.
Literally me!! I suffered from hocd for months and i recovered!! I recovered from only ali's videos and i now live a life without hocd. This will all pass trust me just do recovery work
Anonymous62972 Is getting images in your head hocd?
Anonymous62972 I mean sexual scenes
Anonymous62972 everytime I walk by men, even young boys
Anonymous67461
Anonymous62972
Is getting images in your head hocd?
Yes keep disregarding. For me i would get alot of images when i would close my eyes to sleep and it scared me so bad until i realized that it was just another tool hocd used to get me to react.
Anonymous67461
Anonymous62972
I mean sexual scenes
Yes yes yes everything in that nature is still ocd trust me ur not alone and u can recover
Anonymous62972
Anonymous67461
Yes yes yes everything in that nature is still ocd trust me ur not alone and u can recover
I am lesbian and I get images of oral s*x with men in my head everytime I walk by a male person.
Anonymous67461
Anonymous62972
can someone help me?
Yes of course what is ur problem?
Anonymous62972 33 And then I want to know if I would actually want it/ do it
Anonymous62972
Anonymous67461
Yes of course what is ur problem?
I am lesbian and I get images of oral s*x with men in my head everytime I walk by a male person.
Anonymous67461
Anonymous62972
I am lesbian and I get images of oral s*x with men in my head everytime I walk by a male person.
Thats exactly what hocd does. I am a straight female and have only ever been attracted to men but for some reason i would be next to a girl and get these weird sexual images about her. It is so so common u have no idea. At the end of the day though our thoughts mean nothing. We are meant to have junk thoughts and weird thoughts are natural. I used to think hocd thoughts were the end of the world
Anonymous67461
Anonymous67461
Thats exactly what hocd does. I am a straight female and have only ever been attracted to men but for some reason i would be next to a girl and get these weird sexual images about her. It is so so common u have no idea. At the end of the day though our thoughts mean nothing. We are meant to have junk thoughts and weird thoughts are natural. I used to think hocd thoughts were the end of the world
But now i brush these thoughts off like nothing. Analyzing and wondering if u actually like it is all ocd
Anonymous71635
Anonymous67461
Also once u disregard little by little u will feel better and look back and be like oh yea that was just ocd.
Thank you this helps me so much
Anonymous62972
Anonymous67461
But now i brush these thoughts off like nothing. Analyzing and wondering if u actually like it is all ocd
But why can’t I answer if I would want to do it?
Anonymous62972 I mean if I was a real lesbian I would say immediately „No I would never do that“
Anonymous62972 You know what I mean?
Anonymous67461
Anonymous62972
But why can’t I answer if I would want to do it?
So basically if u actually wanted to do it u would not spend this much time thinking about it. When i was doing exposures during recovery i watching coming out videos that i avoided watching before and one girl said that she would like to fantasize about girls and then be like i will get that one day and forget abt it until she wanted to fantasize again. Whereas ppl with ocd ruminate about it
Anonymous65599 how I hate OCD
Anonymous67461
Anonymous62972
You know what I mean?
Yea i know what u mean. U have to understand ocd controls alot of your reactions. However it makes u feel is not actually u. Its the same thing where how some straight girls would be like oh yea i wouldnt mind having s*x with another women and they still identify as straight. Sexuality isnt something most ppl overthink unless u have ocd
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65599
how I hate OCD
Me too
Anonymous65599 I've watched thousand Ali's videos and I'm still deep in magical thinking ocd. 20 years of an absolute nightmare.
Anonymous65023 I wanted to ask, though ive worried about quite a few themes for short whiles in the past, I have only a couple main ones, and my brain keeps telling me that because they seem more possible (common is a better word) than the other ones and because i've stressed for longer on those subjects in particular. how can I shift that thinking?
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65599
I've watched thousand Ali's videos and I'm still deep in magical thinking ocd. 20 years of an absolute nightmare.
Ok so if u have been 20 years suffering it is not going to go away in a few months. I would suggest getting personal sessions with ali or an ocd coach. If u cant then try to not do the things your ocd is telling you. Take a leap of faith and dont fall into ocd tricks.
Anonymous65023
Anonymous65023
I wanted to ask, though ive worried about quite a few themes for short whiles in the past, I have only a couple main ones, and my brain keeps telling me that because they seem more possible (common is a better word) than the other ones and because i've stressed for longer on those subjects in particular. how can I shift that thinking?
sorry I messed that up, the worry is that im in denial because they seem to more common worries
Anonymous65599
Anonymous67461
Ok so if u have been 20 years suffering it is not going to go away in a few months. I would suggest getting personal sessions with ali or an ocd coach. If u cant then try to not do the things your ocd is telling you. Take a leap of faith and dont fall into ocd tricks.
thanks for support. unfortunately, I can't afford sessions with Ali, because it's very expensive.
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65023
I wanted to ask, though ive worried about quite a few themes for short whiles in the past, I have only a couple main ones, and my brain keeps telling me that because they seem more possible (common is a better word) than the other ones and because i've stressed for longer on those subjects in particular. how can I shift that thinking?
I have suffered from many themes as well and something to shift your thinking is remembering that stressing on any subject regardless is still u worried about it and showing your brain that you fear somethings. Dont listen to any of what ocd tries to tell u. Changing your response to thoughts about your themes can help alot
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65599
thanks for support. unfortunately, I can't afford sessions with Ali, because it's very expensive.
I know it is so hard to get treatment. I have heard NOCD is really affordable or better help is good
Anonymous65023
Anonymous67461
I have suffered from many themes as well and something to shift your thinking is remembering that stressing on any subject regardless is still u worried about it and showing your brain that you fear somethings. Dont listen to any of what ocd tries to tell u. Changing your response to thoughts about your themes can help alot
thank you, i'm really trying, I went to a psychiatrist yesterday and I dont think he fully understood my problem, though he was supporting and sweet. I think part of him thinks its denial, though that could be me jumping to conclusions
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65023
sorry I messed that up, the worry is that im in denial because they seem to more common worries
That's just ocd as well. Make the choice to treat it all as ocd because coming from an outside view as someone who suffers from ocd i can relate and see that you have ocd
Anonymous65599 I decided to make musical videos on youtube because I'm constantly alone, I don't have friends, maybe I will find somebody and we will make music together or just drink beer on skype lol
Anonymous65599
Anonymous65023
Anonymous67461
That's just ocd as well. Make the choice to treat it all as ocd because coming from an outside view as someone who suffers from ocd i can relate and see that you have ocd
thank you I really appreciate that, ive been rumintating 5-8 hours a day for three months (not mentioning before that) and its so difficult
Anonymous65599 oh! I'm feeling guilty that I posted it here
Anonymous65023
Anonymous65599
that's awesome!
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65023
thank you, i'm really trying, I went to a psychiatrist yesterday and I dont think he fully understood my problem, though he was supporting and sweet. I think part of him thinks its denial, though that could be me jumping to conclusions
Of course! Let me tell u something. Even some psychatrists are not educated on ocd. This girl on tiktok it took her years to find a therapist because all the ones she went to were uneducated. Make sure ur therapist is aware of all the subtypes. Also dont believe him or let him get to u he is just another uneducated person!
Anonymous65599 guys I can't express how hard it was to f**kin' upload it on youtube because of obsessions
Anonymous65023
Anonymous67461
Of course! Let me tell u something. Even some psychatrists are not educated on ocd. This girl on tiktok it took her years to find a therapist because all the ones she went to were uneducated. Make sure ur therapist is aware of all the subtypes. Also dont believe him or let him get to u he is just another uneducated person!
thanks, i'll try to keep it in mind!
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65023
thank you I really appreciate that, ive been rumintating 5-8 hours a day for three months (not mentioning before that) and its so difficult
I know how it feels. From july-september all of my days were spent anxiety ridden and ruminating about ocd. I can say that i am in a much better place now.
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65023
thanks, i'll try to keep it in mind!
No problem!
Anonymous65599 I mean I feel guilty cause people talkin' about ocd here and I look like a motherf**ker who speaks about his video, but I'm an ocd sufferer too
Anonymous65599
Anonymous65023
that's awesome!
thank you!
Anonymous67461
Anonymous65599
I mean I feel guilty cause people talkin' about ocd here and I look like a motherf**ker who speaks about his video, but I'm an ocd sufferer too
Anyone is welcome here hahaha! But seriously ur videos could be a good distraction for some
Anonymous65599
Anonymous67461
Anyone is welcome here hahaha! But seriously ur videos could be a good distraction for some
thank you!
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Blood contamination

Hi all,

I'm so glad I found this forum tonight. I don't know anyone near me who suffers from OCD and I don't want to burden my boyfriend with it too much. As I mentioned in the chat, I have been suffering contamination fear around blood, eversince my fear of covid has dropped (which I'm so proud of). I try to be very rational about blood. I work in a nursing home for elderly people with dementia, so I see blood on a daily basis almost. I'm not afraid to look at it. However, I am afraid of the following things:

  • Not cleaning it up well enough;
  • Contaminating others with my own blood;
  • The fact that the residents probably walk around with blood on their hands, from small wounds etc. and touch doorknobs and other things;
  • Contaminate myself, get sick and then contaminate others. I'm not afraid of being ill, but I would feel responsible for getting someone else sick;
  • A lot of blood-borne diseases are dormant and won't be noticed until the person is very sick, Hepatitis B for example.

An example of a situation I recently encountered: A colleague brought her baby to the nursing home while she was still on het maternity leave. A resident had a nosebleed, the day before she was even hospitalized for it. For a couple of day, she still had residual blood under her nose, which she would touch frequently. So the chance of her getting blood on her hands was very high. Around the same time, I was afraid this lady might have AIDS (because of a picture about it in her room). I looked up how this disease would transmit and found out you can't get it from touching something with blood on it. I'm terrified she might have had some kind of disease, touched the baby and the baby would then lick his hands, which they often do, and ingest the blood and get sick. For some diseases, this would be a way to transmit the disease. For others, like AIDS, there has to be a wound.

I'm fairly sure she touched the baby. But at the time I was only worried about AIDS and now I'm afraid I let her touch the baby even with (a little) blood on her hands, which she probably had because of her nosebleed, because I deemed it safe. But now, a couple of months later I'm suddenly very scared because of other blood-borne diseases. 

I'm not sure what happened anymore, who was there as well, if she even touched the baby. I feel compelled to tell the mother because I feel we should all be cautious around blood. There are a number of diseases which are totally invisible but can be deadly later on in life. And they often go undiscovered until it's too late. But on the other side, I feel like it's the mothers job to protect her child. If the woman had a lot of blood, I think we would all have seen it. But I'm also afraid I didn't react because I was only focussing on if she had AIDS, and it would not have been dangerous to have touched the baby (though it would have been gross ofcourse). Blood-borne diseases aren't rare, but not common either. I just feel guilty for not reacting in a certain way back then. And I'm not sure if I should just ask/tell the mother now. It feels weird to do that after months. But it also feels very dangerous.

I hope someone can help me solve this in a good way. Or maybe someone recognizes this. Thanks for reading!

 

 

 

I feel your pain. I have been through a lot of the same situations as you have and it was before I knew how OCD really worked and how to do ERP. I also was more afraid of causing harm to someone else more than illness to myself and would have extreme guilt and fear which would consume me. Some things I would suggest - difficult as they may be. Stop researching various illnesses - it will only make things worse, as you probably already know. Realize that we really have  little control in life - some, but not as much as we think. Don't ask for reassurance. It may feel good for a minute and reduce the guilt and fear, but OCD will only find something else for you to think about.  Right now you feel responsible for every scenario which is also part of OCD. 

Try to let the scary thoughts and feelings be there but go on with your life. It will not be easy, but after a while things will get better and the anxiety will reduce.  It sounds like you are like many people who have OCD - a caring and loving person who feels over-responsible for others so OCD has latched unto this situation. 

Let me know how you are doing in the future and realize that you are not alone.

Thank you for your kind answer! Researching illnesses certainly makes it worse. And we can't control everything in life. That's what helped me get rid of a lot of compulsions and anxiety around covid-related OCD. Just accepting I can't control it. It was really hard but I've come out on the other end about that theme and I'm so proud of it. 

And even though I can't get rid of the feeling that I'm doing something awful if I don't tell the mother about this situation. But thinking about it and asking reassurance doesn't make it better (even worse). So I guess I'll have to sit with this feeling and let it reduce naturally.

I'm also moving together with my fiancee into our first bought house. I'm so afraid the anxiety about this thought with the blood will spoil the move for me, making me think about it constantly. Luckily I have an appointment with my therapist a couple of days before. 

I'll keep you updated on how it goes. It's great to be able to talk someone who 100% knows what I'm going through.

Just wondering about you nickname, do you sew as well? It's one of my favourite hobbies, which I've pushed aside because of the anxiety for far too long. I finally bought some fabric to start on some new projects. I often wait to start on these things until i feel 'better'. But I guess it's better to just start with it anyway.

Have a nice day/evening where you are!

I used to sew quite a bit and even had a business where I sewed drapes,  cushions etc. and I was a seamstress at a retail store. Have gone unto other things now and mainly knit and don't hardly sew at all,  but I have just kept this nickname.