OCD Help Chat 
Anonymous178858 Looking for a therapist who can help me.
Helmut Schmacker
Seamstress
I seem to go up and down. Some days hardly any OCD thoughts and some days quite a few. Not sure why I can't just be done with OCD. Seem to hang unto it for some reason of course because of fear - the main reason I think that we all have OCD in one way or another. Hard not to beat myself up over it.
Don't be to hard on yourself. It's easy to feel weary and frustrated after you've suffered for so long. How do you feel about coaching? Having somebody there to push you each day and hold you accountable could be enough to get you over the finishing line. If that's not an option maybe a support buddy could help?
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Would you guys recommend me to stop reading news article or news videos revolved around my ocd theme to help make the thoughts go away or would that count as avoidance?
I'll be back online a little later, if you're still looking for advice then I'll try to help. If Seamstress returns I would definitely ask her for help. She probably knows more about this condition than anyone else on the forum.
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
I'll be back online a little later, if you're still looking for advice then I'll try to help. If Seamstress returns I would definitely ask her for help. She probably knows more about this condition than anyone else on the forum.
I asked Ali the same question a little while ago and she suggested using the triggering articles as exposure and response therapy and after a while they will not bother you as much and then you can read the whole article for erp. I believe that is what she meant anyway.
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
Don't be to hard on yourself. It's easy to feel weary and frustrated after you've suffered for so long. How do you feel about coaching? Having somebody there to push you each day and hold you accountable could be enough to get you over the finishing line. If that's not an option maybe a support buddy could help?
Yes, I have considered it. Will think more about it.
Anonymous178601 Thank you guys! I will continue with the articles and videos then. I just want to get rid of this thoughts. I have Pure o but it has never been this bad.
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Thank you guys! I will continue with the articles and videos then. I just want to get rid of this thoughts. I have Pure o but it has never been this bad.
Well done for reducing the time you spent ruminating, if you can stay motivated I'm sure you'll reduce it even further. Tracking can be a pain in the b**t when the thoughts are 24/7, but you're doing great. Keep going, amigo!
Anonymous178601 Thank you, amigo hopefully we all get recovered here soon and move on from this. However one last question for the day can articles and videos that you read be brought up by your ocd like they just keep replaying on what you read and saw. Like I mentioned it was never this bad so I never really put too much attention to it but ones I started doing erp all of that is brought up.
Anonymous178601 Its as if my ocd is trying to scare me again like my thoughts switch and then from time to time an article or video that i saw is brought up
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Thank you, amigo hopefully we all get recovered here soon and move on from this. However one last question for the day can articles and videos that you read be brought up by your ocd like they just keep replaying on what you read and saw. Like I mentioned it was never this bad so I never really put too much attention to it but ones I started doing erp all of that is brought up.
My initial impression is that you may be spending to much time on the exposures(if watching vids and reading are the exposures)and not enough time doing the response prevention part. Once you start feeling that anxiety then it's time to go about your day,disregarding OCD thoughts(easy right).If you spend a lot of time reading and watching videos, then naturally these will be on your mind
Anonymous178601 Thank you yeah I have been spending a lot of time watching and reading and I disregard the thoughts but they start to change theme and go through everything that I have watched and read as well
Anonymous178601 However I still disregard for the whole day sometimes i end up doing a compulsion or rumminition but its getting better I believe but I just wanted to be sure that was something that tends to happen within an ocd theme I appreciate you guys
Anonymous178873 Hi, I have a question regarding OCD. Can it make you give into an urge? Like lets say for example I have the sudden thought of "don't clench your fists as hard as you can" out of nowhere. And then that brings a sensation to my hands, and it almost compels me to do that action. Well, what happens if you were to actually go through with it? Is it still OCD or just me at that point?
Seamstress
Anonymous178873
Hi, I have a question regarding OCD. Can it make you give into an urge? Like lets say for example I have the sudden thought of "don't clench your fists as hard as you can" out of nowhere. And then that brings a sensation to my hands, and it almost compels me to do that action. Well, what happens if you were to actually go through with it? Is it still OCD or just me at that point?
OCD can play many tricks and give you thoughts, urges and various physical symptoms. Don't try to figure out it all out, which is ruminating. Choose to disregard or the thoughts etc. will increase. Try to "nip it in the bud" so to speak.
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Anonymous178601 Do you guys ever laugh at the ocd thoughts like you catch and then your like wtf what kind of dumb thing is that lol. I know I am supposed to ignore it but sometimes I can't help but laugh at the thought saying like seriously ocd wtf.
Anonymous178601 And then there are other times I get anxiety
Anonymous177485
Anonymous178601
And then there are other times I get anxiety
Yeah sometimes I nervously laugh
Seamstress
Anonymous178601
Do you guys ever laugh at the ocd thoughts like you catch and then your like wtf what kind of dumb thing is that lol. I know I am supposed to ignore it but sometimes I can't help but laugh at the thought saying like seriously ocd wtf.
I am not sure that there is anything wrong with laughing at the thought.
Anonymous178984 Hey guys,so what should I do whenever an ocd thoughts comes up?
Seamstress
Anonymous178984
Hey guys,so what should I do whenever an ocd thoughts comes up?
Try not to pay attention to it and go on with your day. Have you watched Ali's videos. Many, many on this subject.
Anonymous179000 If you think about a memory and try really hard to remember but never actually remember or feel confident about doing it other than vague a scenario, that usually means it's Not Real right? Because I have False Memory OCD connected to something I did in the past and I have gone through it extensively, but I can't ever truly have a certain memory of the thing I fear I did
Anonymous179000 Just vague images and feelings that I did do it, sometimes I think "I would never do that" and sometimes I feel like I did, because it would've been so easy, but then I think I would never do it because of certain reasons, but then I feel like I'm applying my currently logic to my past logic that didn't know any better, and it's eating away at me.
Anonymous179000 I have gone through almost every single possibly scenerio in which I could have done it, but I never get a Real Memory of it, I also feel like I wouldn't just forget that I did it, but sometimes I feel like I did, because it would've been that easy for me to have done it so my brain tells me I would've done it if given the opportunity, but at the same time it's not something I would just do
Anonymous179000 I Feel like I'm Losing My Mind, I don't know what's Real and what's Not
Seamstress
Anonymous179000
I Feel like I'm Losing My Mind, I don't know what's Real and what's Not
You are ruminating. You are safe to disregard. The more you try to figure it out the worse it will get. Difficult but you need to not pay attention to these thoughts. OCD always feels so real. OCD always attacks the areas that mean the most to us. Try to do something now that will refocus your mind.
Anonymous179000 If I can't truly remember a certain or clear memory even after thinking about all the different scenarios that it could've happened, it's most likely not real right?
Anonymous178601 Does Ocd get bad for anyone else at night. Like I am able to disregard all day and the thoughts become less frequent as well but whenever I try to shut my eyes to sleep. The thoughts are like not tonight hombre. Other nights I am good like the past two nights were really good for some reason other nights are not.
Anonymous178601 I also want to mention. That I am really sleepy at this times I want to close my eyes and just go to sleep but the thoughts are persistent and keep me awake until 1 or 2 and then I just pass out
Seamstress
Anonymous179000
If I can't truly remember a certain or clear memory even after thinking about all the different scenarios that it could've happened, it's most likely not real right?
You are still ruminating and seeking reassurance. You need to not pay attention to the thoughts. Difficult I know.
Anonymous179038 hello. is anyone online?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
hello. is anyone online?
How can I help?
Anonymous178601 How long do dreams of your ocd theme stick around? I am just tired of them and want them to stop happening.
Seamstress
Anonymous178601
How long do dreams of your ocd theme stick around? I am just tired of them and want them to stop happening.
I am not sure that I know the answer to that as that is not something I have dealt with in my own life. Not sure we have much control over our dreams, but I would think that the more OCD lessens during the day perhaps less dreams. The main thing I would think would be to accept that you have them but don't focus on the content.
Anonymous179038 i have bodily sensation ocd and i'm too focused on my genital area with the sensation are. sometimes i work best with disregard, sometimes i can't. any advice?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
i have bodily sensation ocd and i'm too focused on my genital area with the sensation are. sometimes i work best with disregard, sometimes i can't. any advice?
Just keep doing what you are doing by disregarding. Eventually sensations should lessen if you don't focus on them.
Anonymous179038 okay will do. i have another question. sometimes, my brain will remind me of my ocd and sensations like "hey, its been a year and you still have this" and it makes me really scared. is it normal that my brain would remind me that way?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
okay will do. i have another question. sometimes, my brain will remind me of my ocd and sensations like "hey, its been a year and you still have this" and it makes me really scared. is it normal that my brain would remind me that way?
Sounds like it might be your OCD reminding you of it, trying to get you back into ruminating. Treat like OCD and disregard. OCD has many tricks.
Anonymous179038 thank you. will do that
Anonymous179038 also, why disregarding hard sometimes?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
also, why disregarding hard sometimes?
I think it is hard most times until brain starts to change. Keep up your recovery. We can all do it!
Anonymous179059 What is stopping me from recovery are my childhood memories. Every time HOCD comes back I try to fight it by avoiding doing compulsions and not analysing but some childhood memories, where for example I was looking at men in underwear (which I was turned on by then?) or masturbating to solo jerking off videos one or multiple times when I was young (12), are producing extreme anxiety
Anonymous179059
Anonymous179059
What is stopping me from recovery are my childhood memories. Every time HOCD comes back I try to fight it by avoiding doing compulsions and not analysing but some childhood memories, where for example I was looking at men in underwear (which I was turned on by then?) or masturbating to solo jerking off videos one or multiple times when I was young (12), are producing extreme anxiety
I remember well when I was about 10 me and a friend read a book about sexual things. There was a passage where it said something like„when the p***s gets aroused more and more there happens e*********n“. I remember being turned on by that thought and even masturbating to it later. This is the thought that by far is producing the most anxiety and is like a 100% proof that I‘m at least bi. I
Anonymous179059
Anonymous179059
I remember well when I was about 10 me and a friend read a book about sexual things. There was a passage where it said something like„when the p***s gets aroused more and more there happens e*********n“. I remember being turned on by that thought and even masturbating to it later. This is the thought that by far is producing the most anxiety and is like a 100% proof that I‘m at least bi. I
I mean how can someone be straight if he was jerking to dicks an was aroused by these thoughts? I never ever chased men in real life or thought about doing something with their dicks but like I said in certain situations I was turned on by them. In Real Life I only was turned on by girls not one time by men. It feels like before puberty I was gay, in puberty straight then.
Helmut Schmacker Afternoon chaps, how's it going today?
Anonymous179093 Can someone help me please how to deal with these memories
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous179093
Can someone help me please how to deal with these memories
Are you the HOCD sufferer above, worried about your childhood memories?
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Thought: My partner is not beautiful

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I don’t know if anyone here is having this same specific very weird thought. That when you look sometimes at your partner or at a picture of him, it says he is not that beautiful, Therefore I can’t be with someone ugly ! (And like ... in the real life when you are with him you find him very handsome and attractive) but well... he is not the most handsome in the world but I love him and I find him handsome, but sometimes I have this thought poping up probably because what attracted me first about him was his personalitu and not physical. I remember the first time I sow him I thought, oh he is so tall wow let’s look at his face and saying ... oh he is not handsome. And then being impressed by his personality until one day I was like omg he is handsome ! And then I was so into him ect... until OCD hits me so sooo hardly.
it comes and goes, when I choose to not listen to the thoughts and reassure myslef ect ... it comes for like weeks to 1 month or two and then comes again with new or old thoughts that I thought were solved !

i love my partner, he is the perfect one for me, I wan to marry him and I feel like I can’t be happy because of this OCD. 

how can anybody that is in love with someone thinks he is ugly when he was attracted to him at the begining ?!! How can that be...

and of course there are million of other thoughts like cheating, or what if he is not the one, or what if he is not intelligent enough or what if he has an STI or whatever miserable thought that hurts me so deeply. But this one is killing me because beauty is important maybe to me ... 

I am really confused and afraid that if I recover, I will find myself still seeing him not as handsome as I would like him to be or something like this and discover that I was juste reassuring myself and saying it was OCD when it is not. Because like ... I am feeling that I really think this is true like I truely thik he is not that handsome. It is a fact so it is not OCD right ?! But I love him! Maybe I should be with someone more handsome to be confident that I love someone ?! I think I will loose my mind guys ... 

I am tired.

Quote

 It's common problem for a ROCD because you keep observing him every day and you keep thinking it over and over and you find a problem where there isn't. Make a list to what you love about your partner or you can write him a letter with what you love about him or why you are happy with him. 

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Quote from Guest on December 29, 2020, 7:13 pm

I don’t know if anyone here is having this same specific very weird thought. That when you look sometimes at your partner or at a picture of him, it says he is not that beautiful, Therefore I can’t be with someone ugly ! (And like ... in the real life when you are with him you find him very handsome and attractive) but well... he is not the most handsome in the world but I love him and I find him handsome, but sometimes I have this thought poping up probably because what attracted me first about him was his personalitu and not physical. I remember the first time I sow him I thought, oh he is so tall wow let’s look at his face and saying ... oh he is not handsome. And then being impressed by his personality until one day I was like omg he is handsome ! And then I was so into him ect... until OCD hits me so sooo hardly.
it comes and goes, when I choose to not listen to the thoughts and reassure myslef ect ... it comes for like weeks to 1 month or two and then comes again with new or old thoughts that I thought were solved !

i love my partner, he is the perfect one for me, I wan to marry him and I feel like I can’t be happy because of this OCD.

how can anybody that is in love with someone thinks he is ugly when he was attracted to him at the begining ?!! How can that be...

and of course there are million of other thoughts like cheating, or what if he is not the one, or what if he is not intelligent enough or what if he has an STI or whatever miserable thought that hurts me so deeply. But this one is killing me because beauty is important maybe to me ...

I am really confused and afraid that if I recover, I will find myself still seeing him not as handsome as I would like him to be or something like this and discover that I was juste reassuring myself and saying it was OCD when it is not. Because like ... I am feeling that I really think this is true like I truely thik he is not that handsome. It is a fact so it is not OCD right ?! But I love him! Maybe I should be with someone more handsome to be confident that I love someone ?! I think I will loose my mind guys ...

I am tired.

Good morning, this is a very common ROCD theme. I have also been going through this for the past 6 months and it has been a very hard theme for me to deal with. I have been married to my wife for 11 years. Everything had been perfect (as good as it gets in my opinion). I have had OCD for most of my life like most of us do. This summer my OCD morphed into Harm-OCD and then soon after ROCD. It first started with what if I don't love my partner enough, and then quickly moved onto what if I have fallen out of love with my wife and don't find her attractive anymore and want to cheat.

This is called a cognitive distortion. It's basically an irrational belief. The good thing is since we made up the irrational belief, we can also change it. Ruminations are what keeps this all going. Ruminating is a compulsion and needs to be cut out. You can't control the first thought, but you can control what you decide to replay.

You have to remember a few things.

1- Attraction doesn't really matter, that's where we're always told to make sure you like your partner as well. Looks fade, and to are not always going to be attracted to your partner. If you leave your current partner, you will have the same issues with your new partner eventually.

2- Love is a choice, just like happiness is a choice. Love is not a feeling, but an action. It's something that we get to choose to do. Yes, sometimes love produces feelings, but its not a feeling. If you want to love someone act loving towards them (not compulsively).

3- Always base your choices and actions based on your values. Don't listen to OCD. That is what it wants. Choose based off your values.

4- Stop any dialog with these thoughts. Just say, yeah, maybe, maybe not. Maybe I don't find my partner attractive anymore, maybe I do.. can't know for sure, or agree with the thought with humor... okay OCD, I don't think my partner is attractive anymore.. whatever you say and laugh. OCD is like a bully. The more that you care, the worse it picks on you. Just say, thanks but no thanks. Stop engaging and trying to figure any of it out. OCD is a  impulsive liar. You can't answer questions that are fake to begin with.

Quote

Has this been an ongoing thing with your ROCD? 
are you on any antidepressants?

just want to know, because I think I have partner focused ROCD and I feel very alone.

most of the time I think I don’t have ROCD. The psychiatrist has told me I have OCD. I somehow refuse to believe it.

Quote
Quote from Guest on February 25, 2021, 10:44 am

Has this been an ongoing thing with your ROCD? 
are you on any antidepressants?

just want to know, because I think I have partner focused ROCD and I feel very alone.

most of the time I think I don’t have ROCD. The psychiatrist has told me I have OCD. I somehow refuse to believe it.

hey, 

it's normal for us who suffer from ocd just believe we don't, it is actually the very first signal of anxiety/ocd: what if this is not ocd/anxiety and just me denying it? 

trust me, I also have that thought. we all have (what a coincidence, right?) 

it's normal just do the same thing you do with the other thoughts and disregard it ? 

Quote
Quote from Guest on January 4, 2021, 9:53 am
Quote from Guest on December 29, 2020, 7:13 pm

I don’t know if anyone here is having this same specific very weird thought. That when you look sometimes at your partner or at a picture of him, it says he is not that beautiful, Therefore I can’t be with someone ugly ! (And like ... in the real life when you are with him you find him very handsome and attractive) but well... he is not the most handsome in the world but I love him and I find him handsome, but sometimes I have this thought poping up probably because what attracted me first about him was his personalitu and not physical. I remember the first time I sow him I thought, oh he is so tall wow let’s look at his face and saying ... oh he is not handsome. And then being impressed by his personality until one day I was like omg he is handsome ! And then I was so into him ect... until OCD hits me so sooo hardly.
it comes and goes, when I choose to not listen to the thoughts and reassure myslef ect ... it comes for like weeks to 1 month or two and then comes again with new or old thoughts that I thought were solved !

i love my partner, he is the perfect one for me, I wan to marry him and I feel like I can’t be happy because of this OCD.

how can anybody that is in love with someone thinks he is ugly when he was attracted to him at the begining ?!! How can that be...

and of course there are million of other thoughts like cheating, or what if he is not the one, or what if he is not intelligent enough or what if he has an STI or whatever miserable thought that hurts me so deeply. But this one is killing me because beauty is important maybe to me ...

I am really confused and afraid that if I recover, I will find myself still seeing him not as handsome as I would like him to be or something like this and discover that I was juste reassuring myself and saying it was OCD when it is not. Because like ... I am feeling that I really think this is true like I truely thik he is not that handsome. It is a fact so it is not OCD right ?! But I love him! Maybe I should be with someone more handsome to be confident that I love someone ?! I think I will loose my mind guys ...

I am tired.

Good morning, this is a very common ROCD theme. I have also been going through this for the past 6 months and it has been a very hard theme for me to deal with. I have been married to my wife for 11 years. Everything had been perfect (as good as it gets in my opinion). I have had OCD for most of my life like most of us do. This summer my OCD morphed into Harm-OCD and then soon after ROCD. It first started with what if I don't love my partner enough, and then quickly moved onto what if I have fallen out of love with my wife and don't find her attractive anymore and want to cheat.

This is called a cognitive distortion. It's basically an irrational belief. The good thing is since we made up the irrational belief, we can also change it. Ruminations are what keeps this all going. Ruminating is a compulsion and needs to be cut out. You can't control the first thought, but you can control what you decide to replay.

You have to remember a few things.

1- Attraction doesn't really matter, that's where we're always told to make sure you like your partner as well. Looks fade, and to are not always going to be attracted to your partner. If you leave your current partner, you will have the same issues with your new partner eventually.

2- Love is a choice, just like happiness is a choice. Love is not a feeling, but an action. It's something that we get to choose to do. Yes, sometimes love produces feelings, but its not a feeling. If you want to love someone act loving towards them (not compulsively).

3- Always base your choices and actions based on your values. Don't listen to OCD. That is what it wants. Choose based off your values.

4- Stop any dialog with these thoughts. Just say, yeah, maybe, maybe not. Maybe I don't find my partner attractive anymore, maybe I do.. can't know for sure, or agree with the thought with humor... okay OCD, I don't think my partner is attractive anymore.. whatever you say and laugh. OCD is like a bully. The more that you care, the worse it picks on you. Just say, thanks but no thanks. Stop engaging and trying to figure any of it out. OCD is a  impulsive liar. You can't answer questions that are fake to begin with.

yeah!!! that's it, love can actually have feelings of course but is its MAJORITY it's a choice of being, trusting, caring, love the same person over and over again despite all duferences, that's what love is! loved it! I'm still struggling too but I remember that everytime because it is actually true, people think that in a relationship it's urgent tohave passion all the time, butteflies, fireworks, always thinking our partner is awesome and beautiful and it's not, a true relationship has its ups and downs and true love shows itself when we as a couple overcome that, that is love: choice, hope you're doing well 🙂

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Sometimes I find my partner handsome and sometimes I don’t. I feel good with him even when he is in the “ not attractive “ phase in my head. Also some days I think I look more attractive than other days. There isn’t  big book of truth that describes what is handsome or pretty. The beauty is in the eyes of beholder! When you don’t find him handsome do you still feel like spending time with him and do you enjoy him? Would you be ok releasing him to a girl that would find him handsome? Something tells me that you are not the only one that found him attractive and if you were not together he would find that person, not staying lonely for the rest of his life. Ocd is tricking you into feeling bad about something that isn’t bad. And you know for sure it’s ocd when you are “ thinking into the future “. What if in the future I will find him unattractive....”. Thinking in future is anxiety, in the past its a depression. Ocd is an anxiety disorder. If you enjoy your partner do so despite the ocd... maybe close your eyes and feel your love to him and then try to imagine giving him to someone who would find him attractive all the time because that person wouldn’t suffer from ocd. 🙂

Quote
Quote from Guest on December 29, 2020, 7:13 pm

I don’t know if anyone here is having this same specific very weird thought. That when you look sometimes at your partner or at a picture of him, it says he is not that beautiful, Therefore I can’t be with someone ugly ! (And like ... in the real life when you are with him you find him very handsome and attractive) but well... he is not the most handsome in the world but I love him and I find him handsome, but sometimes I have this thought poping up probably because what attracted me first about him was his personalitu and not physical. I remember the first time I sow him I thought, oh he is so tall wow let’s look at his face and saying ... oh he is not handsome. And then being impressed by his personality until one day I was like omg he is handsome ! And then I was so into him ect... until OCD hits me so sooo hardly.
it comes and goes, when I choose to not listen to the thoughts and reassure myslef ect ... it comes for like weeks to 1 month or two and then comes again with new or old thoughts that I thought were solved !

i love my partner, he is the perfect one for me, I wan to marry him and I feel like I can’t be happy because of this OCD. 

how can anybody that is in love with someone thinks he is ugly when he was attracted to him at the begining ?!! How can that be...

and of course there are million of other thoughts like cheating, or what if he is not the one, or what if he is not intelligent enough or what if he has an STI or whatever miserable thought that hurts me so deeply. But this one is killing me because beauty is important maybe to me ... 

I am really confused and afraid that if I recover, I will find myself still seeing him not as handsome as I would like him to be or something like this and discover that I was juste reassuring myself and saying it was OCD when it is not. Because like ... I am feeling that I really think this is true like I truely thik he is not that handsome. It is a fact so it is not OCD right ?! But I love him! Maybe I should be with someone more handsome to be confident that I love someone ?! I think I will loose my mind guys ... 

I am tired.

hey, can i contact you somehow? Maybe email or messenger? I would like to ask you a couple of questions. i'm 18 and i have rocd, i want to get some advice from people who overcame it

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hello how are you doing?
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Well everyone have their own experiences, I believe that if we or our love ones are unable to fulfil beauty levels and do not wants to discuss this personal matter with anyone so why not allow technology to help us. We have lots of expert opinion available on websites today to enhance our lifestyle.

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