OCD Help Chat 
Anonymous178601 I also dont have anxiety anymore. The only anxiety I get revolves around the thoughts I am also not paying attention to feelings.
Anonymous178858 What type of ocd is edging? Masturbating and stopping right before o****m?
Anonymous178858 Looking for a therapist who can help me.
Helmut Schmacker
Seamstress
I seem to go up and down. Some days hardly any OCD thoughts and some days quite a few. Not sure why I can't just be done with OCD. Seem to hang unto it for some reason of course because of fear - the main reason I think that we all have OCD in one way or another. Hard not to beat myself up over it.
Don't be to hard on yourself. It's easy to feel weary and frustrated after you've suffered for so long. How do you feel about coaching? Having somebody there to push you each day and hold you accountable could be enough to get you over the finishing line. If that's not an option maybe a support buddy could help?
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Would you guys recommend me to stop reading news article or news videos revolved around my ocd theme to help make the thoughts go away or would that count as avoidance?
I'll be back online a little later, if you're still looking for advice then I'll try to help. If Seamstress returns I would definitely ask her for help. She probably knows more about this condition than anyone else on the forum.
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
I'll be back online a little later, if you're still looking for advice then I'll try to help. If Seamstress returns I would definitely ask her for help. She probably knows more about this condition than anyone else on the forum.
I asked Ali the same question a little while ago and she suggested using the triggering articles as exposure and response therapy and after a while they will not bother you as much and then you can read the whole article for erp. I believe that is what she meant anyway.
Seamstress
Helmut Schmacker
Don't be to hard on yourself. It's easy to feel weary and frustrated after you've suffered for so long. How do you feel about coaching? Having somebody there to push you each day and hold you accountable could be enough to get you over the finishing line. If that's not an option maybe a support buddy could help?
Yes, I have considered it. Will think more about it.
Anonymous178601 Thank you guys! I will continue with the articles and videos then. I just want to get rid of this thoughts. I have Pure o but it has never been this bad.
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Thank you guys! I will continue with the articles and videos then. I just want to get rid of this thoughts. I have Pure o but it has never been this bad.
Well done for reducing the time you spent ruminating, if you can stay motivated I'm sure you'll reduce it even further. Tracking can be a pain in the b**t when the thoughts are 24/7, but you're doing great. Keep going, amigo!
Anonymous178601 Thank you, amigo hopefully we all get recovered here soon and move on from this. However one last question for the day can articles and videos that you read be brought up by your ocd like they just keep replaying on what you read and saw. Like I mentioned it was never this bad so I never really put too much attention to it but ones I started doing erp all of that is brought up.
Anonymous178601 Its as if my ocd is trying to scare me again like my thoughts switch and then from time to time an article or video that i saw is brought up
Helmut Schmacker
Anonymous178601
Thank you, amigo hopefully we all get recovered here soon and move on from this. However one last question for the day can articles and videos that you read be brought up by your ocd like they just keep replaying on what you read and saw. Like I mentioned it was never this bad so I never really put too much attention to it but ones I started doing erp all of that is brought up.
My initial impression is that you may be spending to much time on the exposures(if watching vids and reading are the exposures)and not enough time doing the response prevention part. Once you start feeling that anxiety then it's time to go about your day,disregarding OCD thoughts(easy right).If you spend a lot of time reading and watching videos, then naturally these will be on your mind
Anonymous178601 Thank you yeah I have been spending a lot of time watching and reading and I disregard the thoughts but they start to change theme and go through everything that I have watched and read as well
Anonymous178601 However I still disregard for the whole day sometimes i end up doing a compulsion or rumminition but its getting better I believe but I just wanted to be sure that was something that tends to happen within an ocd theme I appreciate you guys
Anonymous178873 Hi, I have a question regarding OCD. Can it make you give into an urge? Like lets say for example I have the sudden thought of "don't clench your fists as hard as you can" out of nowhere. And then that brings a sensation to my hands, and it almost compels me to do that action. Well, what happens if you were to actually go through with it? Is it still OCD or just me at that point?
Seamstress
Anonymous178873
Hi, I have a question regarding OCD. Can it make you give into an urge? Like lets say for example I have the sudden thought of "don't clench your fists as hard as you can" out of nowhere. And then that brings a sensation to my hands, and it almost compels me to do that action. Well, what happens if you were to actually go through with it? Is it still OCD or just me at that point?
OCD can play many tricks and give you thoughts, urges and various physical symptoms. Don't try to figure out it all out, which is ruminating. Choose to disregard or the thoughts etc. will increase. Try to "nip it in the bud" so to speak.
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Anonymous178601 Do you guys ever laugh at the ocd thoughts like you catch and then your like wtf what kind of dumb thing is that lol. I know I am supposed to ignore it but sometimes I can't help but laugh at the thought saying like seriously ocd wtf.
Anonymous178601 And then there are other times I get anxiety
Anonymous177485
Anonymous178601
And then there are other times I get anxiety
Yeah sometimes I nervously laugh
Seamstress
Anonymous178601
Do you guys ever laugh at the ocd thoughts like you catch and then your like wtf what kind of dumb thing is that lol. I know I am supposed to ignore it but sometimes I can't help but laugh at the thought saying like seriously ocd wtf.
I am not sure that there is anything wrong with laughing at the thought.
Anonymous178984 Hey guys,so what should I do whenever an ocd thoughts comes up?
Seamstress
Anonymous178984
Hey guys,so what should I do whenever an ocd thoughts comes up?
Try not to pay attention to it and go on with your day. Have you watched Ali's videos. Many, many on this subject.
Anonymous179000 If you think about a memory and try really hard to remember but never actually remember or feel confident about doing it other than vague a scenario, that usually means it's Not Real right? Because I have False Memory OCD connected to something I did in the past and I have gone through it extensively, but I can't ever truly have a certain memory of the thing I fear I did
Anonymous179000 Just vague images and feelings that I did do it, sometimes I think "I would never do that" and sometimes I feel like I did, because it would've been so easy, but then I think I would never do it because of certain reasons, but then I feel like I'm applying my currently logic to my past logic that didn't know any better, and it's eating away at me.
Anonymous179000 I have gone through almost every single possibly scenerio in which I could have done it, but I never get a Real Memory of it, I also feel like I wouldn't just forget that I did it, but sometimes I feel like I did, because it would've been that easy for me to have done it so my brain tells me I would've done it if given the opportunity, but at the same time it's not something I would just do
Anonymous179000 I Feel like I'm Losing My Mind, I don't know what's Real and what's Not
Seamstress
Anonymous179000
I Feel like I'm Losing My Mind, I don't know what's Real and what's Not
You are ruminating. You are safe to disregard. The more you try to figure it out the worse it will get. Difficult but you need to not pay attention to these thoughts. OCD always feels so real. OCD always attacks the areas that mean the most to us. Try to do something now that will refocus your mind.
Anonymous179000 If I can't truly remember a certain or clear memory even after thinking about all the different scenarios that it could've happened, it's most likely not real right?
Anonymous178601 Does Ocd get bad for anyone else at night. Like I am able to disregard all day and the thoughts become less frequent as well but whenever I try to shut my eyes to sleep. The thoughts are like not tonight hombre. Other nights I am good like the past two nights were really good for some reason other nights are not.
Anonymous178601 I also want to mention. That I am really sleepy at this times I want to close my eyes and just go to sleep but the thoughts are persistent and keep me awake until 1 or 2 and then I just pass out
Seamstress
Anonymous179000
If I can't truly remember a certain or clear memory even after thinking about all the different scenarios that it could've happened, it's most likely not real right?
You are still ruminating and seeking reassurance. You need to not pay attention to the thoughts. Difficult I know.
Anonymous179038 hello. is anyone online?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
hello. is anyone online?
How can I help?
Anonymous178601 How long do dreams of your ocd theme stick around? I am just tired of them and want them to stop happening.
Seamstress
Anonymous178601
How long do dreams of your ocd theme stick around? I am just tired of them and want them to stop happening.
I am not sure that I know the answer to that as that is not something I have dealt with in my own life. Not sure we have much control over our dreams, but I would think that the more OCD lessens during the day perhaps less dreams. The main thing I would think would be to accept that you have them but don't focus on the content.
Anonymous179038 i have bodily sensation ocd and i'm too focused on my genital area with the sensation are. sometimes i work best with disregard, sometimes i can't. any advice?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
i have bodily sensation ocd and i'm too focused on my genital area with the sensation are. sometimes i work best with disregard, sometimes i can't. any advice?
Just keep doing what you are doing by disregarding. Eventually sensations should lessen if you don't focus on them.
Anonymous179038 okay will do. i have another question. sometimes, my brain will remind me of my ocd and sensations like "hey, its been a year and you still have this" and it makes me really scared. is it normal that my brain would remind me that way?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
okay will do. i have another question. sometimes, my brain will remind me of my ocd and sensations like "hey, its been a year and you still have this" and it makes me really scared. is it normal that my brain would remind me that way?
Sounds like it might be your OCD reminding you of it, trying to get you back into ruminating. Treat like OCD and disregard. OCD has many tricks.
Anonymous179038 thank you. will do that
Anonymous179038 also, why disregarding hard sometimes?
Seamstress
Anonymous179038
also, why disregarding hard sometimes?
I think it is hard most times until brain starts to change. Keep up your recovery. We can all do it!
Anonymous179059 What is stopping me from recovery are my childhood memories. Every time HOCD comes back I try to fight it by avoiding doing compulsions and not analysing but some childhood memories, where for example I was looking at men in underwear (which I was turned on by then?) or masturbating to solo jerking off videos one or multiple times when I was young (12), are producing extreme anxiety
Anonymous179059
Anonymous179059
What is stopping me from recovery are my childhood memories. Every time HOCD comes back I try to fight it by avoiding doing compulsions and not analysing but some childhood memories, where for example I was looking at men in underwear (which I was turned on by then?) or masturbating to solo jerking off videos one or multiple times when I was young (12), are producing extreme anxiety
I remember well when I was about 10 me and a friend read a book about sexual things. There was a passage where it said something like„when the p***s gets aroused more and more there happens e*********n“. I remember being turned on by that thought and even masturbating to it later. This is the thought that by far is producing the most anxiety and is like a 100% proof that I‘m at least bi. I
Anonymous179059
Anonymous179059
I remember well when I was about 10 me and a friend read a book about sexual things. There was a passage where it said something like„when the p***s gets aroused more and more there happens e*********n“. I remember being turned on by that thought and even masturbating to it later. This is the thought that by far is producing the most anxiety and is like a 100% proof that I‘m at least bi. I
I mean how can someone be straight if he was jerking to dicks an was aroused by these thoughts? I never ever chased men in real life or thought about doing something with their dicks but like I said in certain situations I was turned on by them. In Real Life I only was turned on by girls not one time by men. It feels like before puberty I was gay, in puberty straight then.
Helmut Schmacker Afternoon chaps, how's it going today?
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Feel not interested and bored

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Hi everyone,

I have OCD and now experience one in my relationship. However, things very often don’t look exciting. Actually, I feel often bored with my GF, like she’s not interesting for me. And then I start thinking whether or not it is right and OK in the relationship. However, I’m also feeling anxious spending time with her and my mind is always thinking what we are supposed to do, what to talk about etc. And I find out I don’t like maybe topics that my GF likes. It’s like I don’t like her at all. It makes me uncomfortable, like I want to force her to be different. It makes me anxious because I pretend that I like it.
I started to think about of how to accept her for what she is. But it brings so much discomfort and anxiety, and break up urges, feeling of being lost, like I don’t know how to act next to her and what to do. Then I start to think that there’s a better fit for me than this girl.
I don’t know if it’s a wrong relationship or maybe it’s ROCD tries to trick me?

Any suggestions over here?

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Andrey
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i would say that because you are so anxious it is OCD. Try to stop ruminating and seeking reassurance. 

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Hi, 

Not feeling exciting and sometimes bored, sometimes feel less and sometimes feel a lot... this is all part of healthy relationships. You know? It's not butterflies in belly all the time and everything it not so perfect all the time and THAT'S TOTALLY OK! 🙂 

I answered someone here about ROCD and my experience, I'm still stuggling with this and it hurts a looooot so try to look for help while you can and before you do something you'll regret yourself. I'll copy my answer to that person and past it here, ok? Read it carefully 🙂 

................................."....................................

I know how it feels, feeling the same. I love my boyfriend so much and this things just make me feel "empty" sometimes like he doesnt matter, we doesn't matter. Questions like "Do I love him? Do I want to be with him? Am I in denial? Do I want this? What if I fell out of love? I don't know if he's attractive anymore, is he attractive? Did I feel that kiss? Did I enjoy our intimacy? Is this correct? Do I feel love for him? Do I feel the same way? OMG, I cannot feel anything, I will try and I cannot, I'm scared"

This last one, actually trying to see if you feel or not, it does not work, it will have a contrary effect. Just like you not wanting to have the thoughts, they will come back. With feelings it's the same cycle. However, this is ALL part of OCD feelings, emotions, doubts. One thing creats another one. It's a cycle. 

In your deep heart you know you love your husband as I know I do love my beautiful and loving boyfriend. He's the most beautiful, caring, nice, wonderful person in the word (mine of course), I love his kisses and hugs, the story we have and what we're creating together and I absolutelly love him so much, that beautiful feeling of care, of intimacy, of respect, of support, etc... this is love, love is not something you can see or quantify and that's what OCD is trying to make you do, it's not possible and that's why the thoughts seem so real (and the thoughts are actually popping in my had right now, that's normal if you're reading this your yours are popping too). And if you're looking for this, asking what's happning here, feeling all this and suffering, I must tell you that you actually feel the same for your husband too and you absolutely love and adore him. ? 

Trust me, I know how it feels. I've been in there for like 5 or 6 months for now. I was having the same break up urges you're having, I couldn't eat or sleep, I couldn't concentrate. I was irritated. I was procastinating, I couldn't do things I loved, my job well done. I was sad all the time even when I was pretending I was not, deep down I was suffering so much. I was googling things about "falling out of love", etc. I had severe panic attacks and anxiety crises (and I still do, sadly. But they occur with less frequency). Some hours I was fine and then they would come up like "see, you're not thinking about it, you don't care, you don't love him, you don't feel the same way" and then I would ruminate and actually feel like all that was real, we date for 2 years and things get more normal and cozy and chill that they were at the beggining. That's normal and expected, no relationship is the same as the 1st month of dating, you know? None. Relationships take work and effort. There are no passion all the time, no pacience all the time, no certainty all the time  (never to be honest, because we got no sure of anything in life even our own stuff, you know?), no fireworks or butterflies in belly all the time, it just gets normal and that's ok. Sometimes we feel a lot and sometimes we don't and that DOES NOT mean we don't love or that we are not loved. That's just how relationships evolve, they got curves, they're not a straight line. Just like life when we have good and bad moments, that does not mean we don't like to live, right?

The thing with this ups and downs, butterflies or not (which is all normal in relationships) is that for us that struggle with ROCD, it's like "proof" that all that messy wave of intrusive thoughts that goes into our head it's true but it's not. It's just the cycle of OCD, no matter the type of it: relationship, contamination, homophobia, harm, etc. Probably if you were not suffering from Relationship OCD you would feel the exact same things that are normal in a relationship and you would be like "Ok, this is stupid. Don't care". That's how people with no anxiety or OCD feels about that kind of questions that pop into our heads or doubts, because EVERY SINGLE PERSON, COUPLE, HAS THEM. The problem it's in how YOU REACT to them: if you're anxious and have OCD this will be like hell because you think you shouldn't think that kind of things because that's not supposed in a relationship (which is not true at all, everyone gets them, relationships have it's ups and downs just as life and that doesn't mean love is over and that everything has to end, NOT AT ALL). And then if you're a regular person you just notice that thoughts, you know that there are no danger and there are no worries and life goes on. That's not us, I feel you. ?

And I'm still struggling with all of that and I know you will see youself in my own words. That's fine, it's the same things and basically the same thoughts (oh what a coincidence, right?). I just hope this doesn't trigger you because I'm just trying to help. There are things that can actually trigger us into thoughts or feelings, you should have realized that already. For example, today I'm fine, I'm distracted working and I'm answering you without feeling triggered but that does not happen all the time. I'm not recovered, I'm not even close to that. But I got some good days now and you'll have them too. Just don't give up.

These things take time. Keep the therapy, it will help you a loooot. I have no diagnosis yet just like you, but I know I got OCD too. I've had it my entire life and I just didn't know that. My therapist just needs more sessions to come up with the diagnosis (despite she already told me that probably yes, I got it). But these things take time, you know? Diagnosis are not easy to come up with but for us it seems like forever because we want to know for sure we have that problem so it would be an "answer" and then everything would be better. But it does not, trust me. It wouldn't change anything the way you feel, just keep calm and go with easy with that, don't think too much of it, it gets ROCD and OCD in general worse. ? 

As I said to you, I already had OCD befora, it was HOCD and I was feeling the same way I'm feeling with ROCD. Same cycle of thoughts and trusting them, wanting to know all what ifs and bla bla bla. I just didn't know at the time I was having OCD and I didn't look for help (sadly not recomended). Happily, with time it just went away (I also don't know how but I do remember I suffered like 2 or 3 months with that too). This time is getting a little worse, maybe because of the environment of the world, too much stress, too much worry, too much covid... It can be an actually trigger to OCD people because we got more time to worry and ruminate, mainly the contamination OCD I guess. 

It's like it goes straight into the things and persons you love the most. Be strong, that urges, feelings, emotions, all that things you say? I'm still going through that too. Somedays are ok, some days are awful and I just want do die, deeply. Some days are like "eh 50/50 good/awful". But we can do this. Because in our deep hearts, we know the person we love, how much we want them and how much they are worth it. That's why we struggle with that so much... because despite all this, we know it. And we know ourselves too.

Keep pushing, we're together and we're gonna recover from it. Just do your job, keep loving your partner even if you're in a crises, don't run away (that's what anxiety and OCD want), don't ruminate, distract yourself the best you can (but don't do things to avoid thought, that doesn't work either, trust me I have tried), you need to let it flow normally, don't answer the thoughts, don't look for answers, don't google, don't try to see all the what ifs, don't do any of that OCD stuff. Everything that looks like ruminating, googling, urges, etc DON'T DO THAT, it's OCD. Everything related to the theme at this point, it's basically OCD, your brain created a pattern and it sticks to it. Be aware. 

Try to answer them with irony, for example if OCD tells you you don't love your husband, try do answer like "yup, that's right OCD, I don't. That's is." Use sarcasm (I know it's hard and you'll want tro cry and you'll suffer at first) but we gotta start somewhere. At first it will be triggering and OCD will make you feel like you're giving it reason and that all thats it's true, break up urges and thoughts and negative emotions/feelings will pop up stronger and that's normal because you're aggreing with your fears and OCD will make everything to start the cycle again, DO NOT FALL FOR IT. Keep doing the same thing. You'll have set backs, I have many many many and that's normal and expected in recovery process. But you gotta wake up again and restart THAT job I just told you. It's ERP, Exposure and Response Prevention, it's a tecnic used in therapy. You'll do that. But you can start slowly now. Recover has its ups and downs but we can do that.

You're not alone. Hope I could help with this. Sorry the giant text but I thought you were in need of an enlightenment. I needed it when it all started and I haven't. Now that I'm more into the subject (and I'm far from totally recovered) I want to help too. Be good,  Xoxo 

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People with ocd often have anxious attachment in relationships. When developing anxiety their stress hormones level is elevated. They feel a rush from a cocktail of hormones when react to something with fear or anxiety. After time the body gets used to it. When starting to date the hormones are elevated through a natural process made by nature to mate. When after some time in a relationship the hormones level up, the safe attachment person is fine and happy while anxious attachment person misses the rush and gets bored and start doubting... perfect storm for a person with ROCD.