OCD Help Chat
Anonymous163633
Aero
The thing is in that moment, in the bed, I KNOW I knew what I was doing. I acted on it because the sensation of the urge was so strong. All I know is I felt like I enjoyed it when I did it but I pulled away in fright seconds later and stayed away from her then
Aero
It's just an example, the point is OCD can make it feel like you did something for different reasons or with different intentions than you really meant, misinterpreting things on purpose because that's scarier
Aero
I think it's a little extreme to call it "acting on it" when all you did was lean a little for a brief moment
I think it's a little extreme to call it "acting on it" when all you did was lean a little for a brief moment
Anonymous163633
Aero
Yes but I had the urge. And that is BAD! I felt like I wanted to do it when I did it and was subconiously aware of that feeling. The same thing with the scrolling down on the internet fiasco with the thought of cp. I know it all sounds the same though
Aero
I think it's a little extreme to call it "acting on it" when all you did was lean a little for a brief moment
Anonymous163633
Aero
Yes because it felt like I wanted to
Aero
Fiasco? You scrolled down slightly faster...
Anonymous163633
Anonymous163633
And I know it's unlikely, you really have to dig for that sort of stuff I hear but what if I'd seen something? It's the same thing where I see a picture of an age approprite person but get a thought of it being a child instead and am unable to look away straight away. A subconcious part of me does believe that all these things are OCD's last efforts to get me because the thoughts I used to get no
Anonymous163633
Yes because it felt like I wanted to
Anonymous163633
Anonymous163633
*no longer do. But the possiblity scares me so much
Anonymous163633
And I know it's unlikely, you really have to dig for that sort of stuff I hear but what if I'd seen something? It's the same thing where I see a picture of an age approprite person but get a thought of it being a child instead and am unable to look away straight away. A subconcious part of me does believe that all these things are OCD's last efforts to get me because the thoughts I used to get no
Aero
It sounds like these things aren't what the problem is, but rather simply the core fear with your theme, worrying that you feel or like something.
It sounds like these things aren't what the problem is, but rather simply the core fear with your theme, worrying that you feel or like something.
Anonymous163633
Aero
Yes. It's related to my one (and pretty much only theme). But it's like, I had OCD and now I'm just a pedo in denial. My brain tells me that the overexposures did something to my brain
Aero
That's pretty textbook OCD, no?
Anonymous163633
Anonymous163633
I've only ever had POCD, because..in terms of themes, it's the only thing I'm afraid of
Anonymous163633
Yes. It's related to my one (and pretty much only theme). But it's like, I had OCD and now I'm just a pedo in denial. My brain tells me that the overexposures did something to my brain
Aero
If you've been around this chat a while, you'd probably have seen a lot of people saying basically that same exact thing, just with being gay or so on
If you've been around this chat a while, you'd probably have seen a lot of people saying basically that same exact thing, just with being gay or so on
Anonymous163633
Aero
I've never heard anyone say they acted on their thoughts or urges though. That's what caught me.
Aero
If you've been around this chat a while, you'd probably have seen a lot of people saying basically that same exact thing, just with being gay or so on
Aero
Worrying about it being denial, used to be OCD, that it might be real now, feeling so real that it must be, etc
Worrying about it being denial, used to be OCD, that it might be real now, feeling so real that it must be, etc
Anonymous163633
Anonymous163633
I've been here for about a year now. I'm 18, this started when I was 17 and it's been rulling my life since. Now I did have days of good recovery but then it was just setback after setback
Anonymous163633
I've never heard anyone say they acted on their thoughts or urges though. That's what caught me.
Aero
I've seen it a lot, especially with harm OCD, "I'm worried I actually hurt someone", or "I think I hit somebody when driving", and often feeling so real
I've seen it a lot, especially with harm OCD, "I'm worried I actually hurt someone", or "I think I hit somebody when driving", and often feeling so real
Anonymous163633
Anonymous163633
I'm also autistic which prevented me from getting treatment where I live. Where I am, doctors don't know ''what to do'' with autistic people.
Anonymous163633
I've been here for about a year now. I'm 18, this started when I was 17 and it's been rulling my life since. Now I did have days of good recovery but then it was just setback after setback
Anonymous163633
Anonymous163633
But in any case, thank you. I understand this must have been tiring.
Anonymous163633
I'm also autistic which prevented me from getting treatment where I live. Where I am, doctors don't know ''what to do'' with autistic people.
Aero
I think no words anyone says are going to really fix it, I'd suggest starting smaller on the ERP and don't overdo it, like Ali has said, trying to stick to around 7/10 or lower, in this case maybe smaller still just to be sure
I think no words anyone says are going to really fix it, I'd suggest starting smaller on the ERP and don't overdo it, like Ali has said, trying to stick to around 7/10 or lower, in this case maybe smaller still just to be sure
Aero
If you try something too hard and it gets the better of you, this is what happens, and everything is a ton more difficult
If you try something too hard and it gets the better of you, this is what happens, and everything is a ton more difficult
Anonymous163633
Aero
Thing is, I did ERP for all of these thoughts and they came back still. I just hope they'll go away soon.
Aero
I think no words anyone says are going to really fix it, I'd suggest starting smaller on the ERP and don't overdo it, like Ali has said, trying to stick to around 7/10 or lower, in this case maybe smaller still just to be sure
Anonymous163633
Aero
But I thought that applied for just recovery overall, not just one specific thought
Aero
It's not a one time fix, it takes consistency over time. It's a slow process
Aero
It's for all of it. There's 2 parts really, the thoughts/themes, and the underlying pattern of anxiety that fuels the whole thing
It's for all of it. There's 2 parts really, the thoughts/themes, and the underlying pattern of anxiety that fuels the whole thing
Anonymous163633
Aero
The thing is, I know how this works, I've been trying for the last six months. I just keep falling down.
Aero
None of it really changes that quickly
Aero
Exactly. The up and down battle is exhausting, but it has to be consistently getting it right. I think Ali said something like around 80% getting it right. Honestly I find that falling down can undo a lot of progress
Exactly. The up and down battle is exhausting, but it has to be consistently getting it right. I think Ali said something like around 80% getting it right. Honestly I find that falling down can undo a lot of progress
Anonymous163633
Aero
Yeah. I was quite ''
erfect'' with it. I felt it had to be all or nothing. I didn't take it day by day. In 6 hours, I would go from, watching an innocent interview of a celeb child to watching a documentary on pedophiles. I did too much.
Aero
Exactly. The up and down battle is exhausting, but it has to be consistently getting it right. I think Ali said something like around 80% getting it right. Honestly I find that falling down can undo a lot of progress
erfect'' with it. I felt it had to be all or nothing. I didn't take it day by day. In 6 hours, I would go from, watching an innocent interview of a celeb child to watching a documentary on pedophiles. I did too much.
Aero
Yeah. Sometimes it's like risking getting +2 progress instead of +1, but if you fail it's -10. It's not worth the gamble.
Yeah. Sometimes it's like risking getting +2 progress instead of +1, but if you fail it's -10. It's not worth the gamble.
Aero
Also you don't want to be flooding yourself with thoughts about it, it's too close to rumination anyways and makes your automatic thoughts come back to the topic too much
Also you don't want to be flooding yourself with thoughts about it, it's too close to rumination anyways and makes your automatic thoughts come back to the topic too much
Anonymous163633
Aero
I used to think it ould help. Ali says to do multiple exposures one after the other because then your brain will find it hard to latch on, but I find that my brain will latch on to multiple thoughts or situations as ''evidence''
Aero
Also you don't want to be flooding yourself with thoughts about it, it's too close to rumination anyways and makes your automatic thoughts come back to the topic too much
Aero
I don't remember it, but I think that might have meant with multiple themes. Other than that, I think it's about frequency, and she's also said things about that
I don't remember it, but I think that might have meant with multiple themes. Other than that, I think it's about frequency, and she's also said things about that
Aero
It can be helpful to do multiple throughout the day to speed things up, but that's like little 10 minute ones, not hours at a time
It can be helpful to do multiple throughout the day to speed things up, but that's like little 10 minute ones, not hours at a time
Aero
You also have to be careful not to exhaust yourself to where you can't handle the random thoughts that just come normally. Even just managing with that can be hard on its own sometimes
You also have to be careful not to exhaust yourself to where you can't handle the random thoughts that just come normally. Even just managing with that can be hard on its own sometimes
Anonymous163633
Aero
Yes, exactly. It got to the point where I made a playlist of kid videos and just watched them for hours a day to recover. I stopped actually living my life. That was the part I got wrong.
Aero
You also have to be careful not to exhaust yourself to where you can't handle the random thoughts that just come normally. Even just managing with that can be hard on its own sometimes
Anonymous163633
Aero
Yeah like I couldn't even call my friend cause it was like ''No I have to do recovery work'', not realising that recovery work just meant disregarding the thoughts that do come in. And yes, on purpose exposures can help but not constant ones. That can still show your brain that this is too important, I find
Aero
Yeah, that's definitely too much
Anonymous163633
Aero
Thank you for this. I know reassurance isn't good but I feel like I needed it in order to be willing to do erp. It's also becoming clear that it's OCD because the thought kept coming back
Aero
Yeah, sounds about right
To REGISTER, LOGIN or access more options, press MENU on mobile.
Forum Navigation
OCD Forum
OCD HELP FORUMLast post
TIME TRACKING - POST YOUR NUMBERS AND UPDATE AS YOU PROGRESSLet's support each other in reducing rumination and compulsions!231 Topics · 4,541 PostsLast post: Suhagra 50 – The Best Remedy for W … · 1 day ago · erectilepharma
ASK ALI GREYMOND (CLOSED UNTIL ALL MESSAGES ARE ANSWERED)Please keep your questions clear and concise so we can get to as many as possible.54 Topics · 3,119 PostsLast post: Autism and OCD and if it's importa … · 1 day ago · wicha
New Creative CornerSometimes it helps to express your pain through creativity.39 Topics · 129 PostsLast post: How in the direction of Keep an ey … · 1 day ago · lasmate
General DiscussionThis forum has been cleaned out due to spam16,659 Topics · 77,899 PostsLast post: Avanafil order cheap Germany, Avan … · 8 seconds ago · wicha
Pure O (Spam Removed)All Things Related to Pure O137 Topics · 2,054 PostsLast post: How to write a college-level essay · 2 hours ago · PogerRushingSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
HOCDAll things related to HOCD135 Topics · 14,333 PostsLast post: Yet another periodic improve towar … · 1 day ago · lasmateSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
Religious OCDAll Things related to Religious OCD33 Topics · 195 PostsLast post: How To Use Cenforce 200 · 3 days ago · lewiscooperSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
OCD WITH PHYSICAL COMPULSIONSAll Things related to Physical Compulsions10 Topics · 266 PostsLast post: SERVICE OVERVIEW · 4 days ago · marycoxSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
ROCD (Relationship OCD)All things related to ROCD (Relationship OCD)59 Topics · 2,358 PostsLast post: How to choose a dating site? · 20 hours ago · Maximu2ssSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
HARM OCDAnything related to Harm OCD38 Topics · 998 PostsLast post: Can anyone help with false memory … · 5 days ago · NishaknappSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
COVID RELATED OCDAll discussion related to COVID5 Topics · 491 PostsLast post: Self-isolation cycle · 2 days ago · assignmenthelpauSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
CONTAMINATION OCDAll Things related to Contamination OCD6 Topics · 35 PostsLast post: Rabies OCD · 1 month ago · totokingSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
PERFECTIONISM OCDAll Things related to Perfectionism OCD4 Topics · 52 PostsLast post: EVERYTHING PERFECT · 3 days ago · KonnierSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
False Memory OCDAll things related to False Memory OCD11 Topics · 54 PostsLast post: Reposting — PLEASE RESPOND · 3 months ago · wichaSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
Other Types Of OCDAll other types of OCD ( If we see more people posting about any specific type we will add it as a separate area )43 Topics · 925 PostsLast post: Sexual OCD vs. Fetishes (Possible … · 3 days ago · KonnierSubforums: Accountability Tracking ( let's support each other! )
Statistics
17,464
Topics
107,449
Posts
1,384,041
Views
1,528
Users
115
Online
Currently Online: david, wicha, 113 Guests