Pure O Question

Quote

Hello, first I want to apologize for the bad English, it's not my native language. I recently found Ali Greymonds Videos and I'm super glad! I'm in Therapie but in my country it's quite difficult to find a good therapist for ocd. So he is a good therapist, but it's like paying for reassurance. I'm a new mom suffering with Pure O since I was little ( different topics) but after birth and during Corona situation it hit me like hell. I tried, to push my thoughts and questions and doubts through the day as much as possible, focusing on what I'm doing, till 17:00. Then I can reassurance myself a bit. I'm doing this since 3 days now and it works quite good, so I'm feeling a bit better, because I don't have this rumination hours in the morning. BUT now my mind is telling me: okay, you feel good now, but Ali told that it feels terrible to not ruminate and to push the thoughts through the day the first time, so its the indicator that you don't have ocd and you are just a bad person who doesn't want to think about it. Is this another trick from ocd and I can just move on? I hope it makes sense to anybody, wish you the best! 

Quote

It sounds to me like you are doing quite well by delaying rumination which is part of the recovery process. I think it is a trick from OCD that is causing your doubting as OCD is the "doubting" disease.  It concerns me that you said that when you go to your therapist it is like paying for reassurance. In order to recover from OCD you need to be practicing ERP - that is what is the standard method of recovery as far as I know.  Make sure that your therapist is trained in OCD. I know from experience that even if they say they are they may not use the proven methods. A previous therapist of mine did not know what ERP meant and I had to explain it to them. Also they said said if the compulsions I did didn't hurt anyone to not worry about it - which I totally disagree with - they hurt me. Remember you are hiring them and you are paying for their services. Make sure they are actually helping you recover and not making it worse.

Quote

Thank you for your response and your advices Seamstress, you are completely right! I was just so stressed that I was glad to have SOMEBODY professional whom I can tell whats going on in my head and who can tell me that everything is okay- but of course this is completely the wrong way and this "okay" feeling lasts not very long. As I told -  in my country OCD is known as the disease of handwashing or counting. That I had as well, but when I was much younger. But I`ll look for somebody who is experienced in ERP, till that point Ill try to do it by my own.

Quote

I hear you. I did the same thing and spent a lot of money doing it.  It is up to you to make the right decision re: therapy - I have no idea if your therapist is okay or not, but if they are just giving reassurance without other treatment it doesn't sound good. Encouragement is good, reassurance not so good although it feels really good at the time. Do what you think is best. 

Quote

Its so true what you say - I really have to look for proper Therapy. Becaus, what should it be, Im so hard working every day just to go this step back every week. It hurts a bit, because it means to me that I have to talk with a new person about it, and Im worried that my actual Therapist is hurted then (haha, I know I know, but it feels like that)...but its my recovery. And I need my energy. I thank you for your honest words!

Quote

I felt the same way about therapists - thinking I would hurt their feelings, reject them etc., but you are not responsible for their feelings and  it is your hard-earned money that is paying for their service. If they are a good therapist they will understand and even if they don't that is their problem. You have to do what is best for you. I feel resentful now spending money and not getting what I needed. However, I suppose I did receive something and it was a good learning experience.

 

I wish you the best.