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can HOCD drain you so much that you used get anxious and panic every time you get these thoughts to but then all of the sudden one day all your feelings just left you?? And like you don’t get anxious or panic when those thoughts come and you start to think you might actually like them even thought the same thoughts were getting you anxious just a while ago? Like you’re also filled with doubt?? Is this normal with HOCD or am I just finally accepting the fact that I might be gay??

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Nope that's a stage in recovery, you are on late stage 2 early stage 3 if I'm not mistaken. You trained your brain. That these thoughts are not anything to worry about, but the brain still sends you these thought so that you get pulled back into rumination. DON'T FALL FOR IT. these thoughts will continue to come and you have to continue to disregard no matter how real it feels. 

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BECAREFUL- I was doing well for about 10 days and rumination pulled me back in- Its a tough bitch to beat but you have to PUSH THROUGH- DISREGARD THE THOUGHTS< FEELINGS< URGES, ANYTHING IT THROWS!