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Is this part of ROCD?

Hi everyone, I have ROCD, I found it out 6 months ago and did few things to heal. Now I am way way better than I was and have many good days. I sometimes feel so good that I think I beated the OCD. However, there is one thing that keeps happening and I am confused. I get trigger by some things that my partner does, I don't feel anxious, I feel very hurt and angry, and I feel like I want to move out, but just in that moment. In a few hours I feel better. But in the moment I cry and express my pain to the partner and often it becomes an argument. It is very hard for me to differentiate where I am overreacting and where I have a right to be angry and hurt. For example, my pertner decided to try a diet without really talking much to me, and cooked things that I avoiding eating. I felt so hurt, he didn't think about my needs, we had a system in place, I asked him about it and we decided to cook separately, I feel like we are some kind of roommates, that he cares about himself more than our relationship, that we will never be able to have meals together. Event thought he said he just wants to try it for a couple weeks, and also he said he can cancel it if it hurts me so much, and apologised for being inconsiderate. But. I want to be supportive, and let him do his thing. Anyways, is this OCD ?? My reaction? I felt incredibly hurt. It is hard to recognise now when there is no anxiety anymore. Does anyone has this experience? What should I do? It is extremely hard not to react in the moment like that. Maybe it is not OCD and I need to look into different type of therapy??

Quote from Guest on February 25, 2021, 10:16 am

Hi everyone, I have ROCD, I found it out 6 months ago and did few things to heal. Now I am way way better than I was and have many good days. I sometimes feel so good that I think I beated the OCD. However, there is one thing that keeps happening and I am confused. I get trigger by some things that my partner does, I don't feel anxious, I feel very hurt and angry, and I feel like I want to move out, but just in that moment. In a few hours I feel better. But in the moment I cry and express my pain to the partner and often it becomes an argument. It is very hard for me to differentiate where I am overreacting and where I have a right to be angry and hurt. For example, my pertner decided to try a diet without really talking much to me, and cooked things that I avoiding eating. I felt so hurt, he didn't think about my needs, we had a system in place, I asked him about it and we decided to cook separately, I feel like we are some kind of roommates, that he cares about himself more than our relationship, that we will never be able to have meals together. Event thought he said he just wants to try it for a couple weeks, and also he said he can cancel it if it hurts me so much, and apologised for being inconsiderate. But. I want to be supportive, and let him do his thing. Anyways, is this OCD ?? My reaction? I felt incredibly hurt. It is hard to recognise now when there is no anxiety anymore. Does anyone has this experience? What should I do? It is extremely hard not to react in the moment like that. Maybe it is not OCD and I need to look into different type of therapy??

Hi! 

Yes, definitely it's part of anxiety/OCD. The fact that you're doing better (I'm happy for you :)) doesn't mean you're recover because recover takes some time, different for everybody of course but it takes. So it's normal that in the recovery process the intrusive thoughts/feelings just change, you know? Anxiety and OCD it trying to get you attention again. Probably in that moments you feel angry, hurt or irritated you know that it's really not a big deal as anxiety and OCD is making you feel. As you told, you want to be supportive, right? You know in your deep heart that's really not a big deal, that doesn't mean your partner is not thinking about you or that your partner doesn't care or doesn't love you, it means your partner is doing something for him and that's ok (as you like to do some things he also doesn't like but he supports you, right?). 

So my point is: yes, it's part of OCD, it changes the things from time to time when we're getting recovered from some thoughts and feelings (intrusive) so that it can captivate our attention again. I also have that feeling with my boyfriend sometime, normal things that in my head they're like "red flags" and irritate/hurt me a lot, when they're actually normal things , you know? 

Probably if we didn't suffer from OCD we would be like "oh that's a little annoying but that's fine", you know? It's not because that small things that you really want to break up or whatever with your partner. It's OCD cycle, it is very smart (little devil!). 

That fact that you feel sad and whatever it's related in how OCD is making you see the things, you know, like red flags and really baaaad things and they're not. I knwo it's hard to come up with this for us that are suffering (as I said I also have those moments like you do. sometimes I freak out then I breath and I'm like "ok, I passed through this already, just breath").

Also, in a relationship it's normal arguing sometimes, it's normal getting sad or irritated or whatever, it doesn't have to be perfect all the time. We just need EVEN IN THAT moments, respect our partners, remember why we're with them in the first place, why we share beautiful moments with them, why all that is worth it and then choosing to continue loving despite everything. 

I know OCD makes us feel and think like it's not that's why it all seems so real. I'm sure you're not always positive minded in your job for example and that doesn't mean you want to quit (just an example). 

You should talk with your therapist about that too. Open up your heart. But that's normal, yes. 

A hug from Portugal!

Quote from vacsrn on February 26, 2021, 5:19 am
Quote from Guest on February 25, 2021, 10:16 am

Hi everyone, I have ROCD, I found it out 6 months ago and did few things to heal. Now I am way way better than I was and have many good days. I sometimes feel so good that I think I beated the OCD. However, there is one thing that keeps happening and I am confused. I get trigger by some things that my partner does, I don't feel anxious, I feel very hurt and angry, and I feel like I want to move out, but just in that moment. In a few hours I feel better. But in the moment I cry and express my pain to the partner and often it becomes an argument. It is very hard for me to differentiate where I am overreacting and where I have a right to be angry and hurt. For example, my pertner decided to try a diet without really talking much to me, and cooked things that I avoiding eating. I felt so hurt, he didn't think about my needs, we had a system in place, I asked him about it and we decided to cook separately, I feel like we are some kind of roommates, that he cares about himself more than our relationship, that we will never be able to have meals together. Event thought he said he just wants to try it for a couple weeks, and also he said he can cancel it if it hurts me so much, and apologised for being inconsiderate. But. I want to be supportive, and let him do his thing. Anyways, is this OCD ?? My reaction? I felt incredibly hurt. It is hard to recognise now when there is no anxiety anymore. Does anyone has this experience? What should I do? It is extremely hard not to react in the moment like that. Maybe it is not OCD and I need to look into different type of therapy??

Hi! 

Yes, definitely it's part of anxiety/OCD. The fact that you're doing better (I'm happy for you :)) doesn't mean you're recover because recover takes some time, different for everybody of course but it takes. So it's normal that in the recovery process the intrusive thoughts/feelings just change, you know? Anxiety and OCD it trying to get you attention again. Probably in that moments you feel angry, hurt or irritated you know that it's really not a big deal as anxiety and OCD is making you feel. As you told, you want to be supportive, right? You know in your deep heart that's really not a big deal, that doesn't mean your partner is not thinking about you or that your partner doesn't care or doesn't love you, it means your partner is doing something for him and that's ok (as you like to do some things he also doesn't like but he supports you, right?). 

So my point is: yes, it's part of OCD, it changes the things from time to time when we're getting recovered from some thoughts and feelings (intrusive) so that it can captivate our attention again. I also have that feeling with my boyfriend sometime, normal things that in my head they're like "red flags" and irritate/hurt me a lot, when they're actually normal things , you know? 

Probably if we didn't suffer from OCD we would be like "oh that's a little annoying but that's fine", you know? It's not because that small things that you really want to break up or whatever with your partner. It's OCD cycle, it is very smart (little devil!). 

That fact that you feel sad and whatever it's related in how OCD is making you see the things, you know, like red flags and really baaaad things and they're not. I knwo it's hard to come up with this for us that are suffering (as I said I also have those moments like you do. sometimes I freak out then I breath and I'm like "ok, I passed through this already, just breath").

Also, in a relationship it's normal arguing sometimes, it's normal getting sad or irritated or whatever, it doesn't have to be perfect all the time. We just need EVEN IN THAT moments, respect our partners, remember why we're with them in the first place, why we share beautiful moments with them, why all that is worth it and then choosing to continue loving despite everything. 

I know OCD makes us feel and think like it's not that's why it all seems so real. I'm sure you're not always positive minded in your job for example and that doesn't mean you want to quit (just an example). 

You should talk with your therapist about that too. Open up your heart. But that's normal, yes. 

A hug from Portugal!

Thanks so much for taking your time to reply! It made me tear up a bit. Because I felt so good and my anxiety was low I thought I react so badly because I am just a horrible and dramatic person😬😅It was quite straightforward to stop ruminating when I was really bad. Now when it comes and goes, I get lost in my feelings and what is what. You shedding light on this and confirming that it is a part of OCD really helps me to move forward. I actually booked a session with Ali and will keep working!

 

Hope you are doing well yourself! 

P.S. I love Portugal! Best wishes from Lithuania 🧡

Quote from Powerful on February 26, 2021, 6:11 am
Quote from vacsrn on February 26, 2021, 5:19 am
Quote from Guest on February 25, 2021, 10:16 am

Hi everyone, I have ROCD, I found it out 6 months ago and did few things to heal. Now I am way way better than I was and have many good days. I sometimes feel so good that I think I beated the OCD. However, there is one thing that keeps happening and I am confused. I get trigger by some things that my partner does, I don't feel anxious, I feel very hurt and angry, and I feel like I want to move out, but just in that moment. In a few hours I feel better. But in the moment I cry and express my pain to the partner and often it becomes an argument. It is very hard for me to differentiate where I am overreacting and where I have a right to be angry and hurt. For example, my pertner decided to try a diet without really talking much to me, and cooked things that I avoiding eating. I felt so hurt, he didn't think about my needs, we had a system in place, I asked him about it and we decided to cook separately, I feel like we are some kind of roommates, that he cares about himself more than our relationship, that we will never be able to have meals together. Event thought he said he just wants to try it for a couple weeks, and also he said he can cancel it if it hurts me so much, and apologised for being inconsiderate. But. I want to be supportive, and let him do his thing. Anyways, is this OCD ?? My reaction? I felt incredibly hurt. It is hard to recognise now when there is no anxiety anymore. Does anyone has this experience? What should I do? It is extremely hard not to react in the moment like that. Maybe it is not OCD and I need to look into different type of therapy??

Hi! 

Yes, definitely it's part of anxiety/OCD. The fact that you're doing better (I'm happy for you :)) doesn't mean you're recover because recover takes some time, different for everybody of course but it takes. So it's normal that in the recovery process the intrusive thoughts/feelings just change, you know? Anxiety and OCD it trying to get you attention again. Probably in that moments you feel angry, hurt or irritated you know that it's really not a big deal as anxiety and OCD is making you feel. As you told, you want to be supportive, right? You know in your deep heart that's really not a big deal, that doesn't mean your partner is not thinking about you or that your partner doesn't care or doesn't love you, it means your partner is doing something for him and that's ok (as you like to do some things he also doesn't like but he supports you, right?). 

So my point is: yes, it's part of OCD, it changes the things from time to time when we're getting recovered from some thoughts and feelings (intrusive) so that it can captivate our attention again. I also have that feeling with my boyfriend sometime, normal things that in my head they're like "red flags" and irritate/hurt me a lot, when they're actually normal things , you know? 

Probably if we didn't suffer from OCD we would be like "oh that's a little annoying but that's fine", you know? It's not because that small things that you really want to break up or whatever with your partner. It's OCD cycle, it is very smart (little devil!). 

That fact that you feel sad and whatever it's related in how OCD is making you see the things, you know, like red flags and really baaaad things and they're not. I knwo it's hard to come up with this for us that are suffering (as I said I also have those moments like you do. sometimes I freak out then I breath and I'm like "ok, I passed through this already, just breath").

Also, in a relationship it's normal arguing sometimes, it's normal getting sad or irritated or whatever, it doesn't have to be perfect all the time. We just need EVEN IN THAT moments, respect our partners, remember why we're with them in the first place, why we share beautiful moments with them, why all that is worth it and then choosing to continue loving despite everything. 

I know OCD makes us feel and think like it's not that's why it all seems so real. I'm sure you're not always positive minded in your job for example and that doesn't mean you want to quit (just an example). 

You should talk with your therapist about that too. Open up your heart. But that's normal, yes. 

A hug from Portugal!

Thanks so much for taking your time to reply! It made me tear up a bit. Because I felt so good and my anxiety was low I thought I react so badly because I am just a horrible and dramatic person😬😅It was quite straightforward to stop ruminating when I was really bad. Now when it comes and goes, I get lost in my feelings and what is what. You shedding light on this and confirming that it is a part of OCD really helps me to move forward. I actually booked a session with Ali and will keep working!

 

Hope you are doing well yourself! 

P.S. I love Portugal! Best wishes from Lithuania 🧡

Thank you!! You're not alone with this, many people are going through the same and just this makes us feel a lil better, we're gonna make it through this! <3