I am a horrible person

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I am so sorry for always looking for reassurance, but I don't know what to do or how to stop it. I am really sorry.

I am so scared of all the thoughts, I swear I would never think this way about any situation of life. And as I have this thought, I just start explaining, saying that it's not true. Please, someone help me. I have never been this way. I would never like to act on this thoughts. I am so scared, what if it's me that is thinking this things? Oh my God, why I am thinking this way? I love my family more than anything in this world, they mean the world to me. I can't live without them, I can't live without love. I don't who am I anymore, I am so scared of start doing things, I am so scared of thinking. I am so scared of everything. Sometimes I start to think that everyone would be okay, would be safe without me.

OCD can come as thoughts like "I have/you have", "I want"? Please, someone just had of thoughts like this? I don't want to do anything. I don't want to be a bad person. I am feeling so horrible. 

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I know how awful Harm OCD feels. The way you recover is by not ruminating and no re assurance. God bless.