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Im pretty sure I’ve got HOCD. I used to get these thoughts that would give me so much anxiety and distress. I used to like boys so much my friends even called me “boy obsessed” but when these thoughts came it’s like I completely lost my attraction to most boys. Now my anxiety doesn’t even come when I get these thoughts and the thoughts are now telling me there wouldn’t be anything wrong with being lesbian. I know there isn’t anything wrong with being lesbian or bi but I don’t want to be like that and now that the anxiety doesn’t come Im scared I actually gay. I’ve told my parents about this and they assured me I wasn’t gay and I’ve seen videos and tests to see if I am gay or not. Everything says I am not but sometimes there is a little reason indicating that I could be gay and that gets me down the spiral again. I sometimes even test myself when I see girls, see if my pupils get bigger or if I feel something down in my private parts. I’m scared now that I don’t get anxiety over these thoughts or ANYTHING when these thoughts come. Am I gay?

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This is all OCD! Time makes it better. Don’t rush healing, just take it one day at a time. Accept all that comes with it and deal with it. Don’t fight it. I made the mistake of fighting it for months which done absolutely nothing but make it worse. I’m starting recovery. Prayers for you! 

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I hate when i see people write ' ACCEPT ALL THAT COMES'- Its a trigger and DOESNT HELP! You are to sit with the thoughts and DO NOTHING... That is what is meant by acceptance. You are not accepting the thoughts of what they are- you are sitting or 'Accepting' the thoughts that are there and you will choose to do nothing!!!! That is the proper way of disregarding!