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Post Reply: What was it? OCD or something else?

<blockquote><div class="quotetitle">Quote from andrey_m on May 8, 2021, 9:13 am</div><p>Hello. I cannot understand if this could be ocd or not.  I have False Memory OCD and you can read my past texts to understand my type. I remember lying on the couch rumbling about my past OCD situation and trying to figure out if I was attacked in that situation or not. I told myself that I probably only imagined for a second the thought that I wanted to attack. After that, I said to myself that if I was imagining, then I am afraid of a real thought and immediately I imagine it for a second. And the thought immediately comes that I suddenly attacked now. I started to scroll again what were now and again imagined the thought. The field of imagination, immediately the thought came again that suddenly I attacked now. And I most likely had strange feelings that I was not afraid to attack, that I was not afraid of it. And I most likely kind of thought that I'm not afraid to go out and go to a certain place and attack, but I don't remember this imagination anymore. I remember how I was already lying and crying, telling myself that I attacked, I attacked. I realized that I had done something terrible first of all in my head. But even then I did not remember exactly what I had imagined or what I was thinking, but strong feelings and thought came to me that I attacked, that I wanted this and that I went and attacked. I am afraid that I was really in a terrible state and imagined such things and I am very sorry about it. I am afraid that I thought so and that suddenly I attacked, because I remember how I lie and cry, that I allegedly attacked, so I may have imagined that I was not afraid to attack somewhere. But I got feelings and thoughts that I attacked. And I cannot understand what happened there. I don’t remember this period of time, but I understand that if I were just lying, then such a thought would definitely not have come, it means that I imagined something or thought (that I’m supposedly not afraid to go out and attack). But I do not remember this imagination and could not remember what happened there after a few minutes. I can't figure out what happened there? Why don't I remember that period of time? Thoughts come to me that I have attacked. That I so imagined, suddenly I decided on it. I understand that I cannot live with this. This is killing me. I do not know what was there and I hate myself for having such imaginations there. I do not know what is this. But I don't remember going out and attacking. Even then, when I cried and said that I had attacked, I did not know the place. But the same cannot be. I couldn't attack, then come and forget where I just did it. This state is destroying me. I don’t know how to live. I do not know how to understand what were in my head at that time. I remember lying on the couch rumbling about my past OCD situation and trying to figure out if I was attacked in that situation or not. I told myself that I probably only imagined for a second the thought that I wanted to attack. After that, I said to myself that if I was imagining, then I am afraid of a real thought and immediately I imagine it for a second. And the thought immediately comes that I suddenly attacked now. I started to scroll again what were now and again imagined the thought. The field of imagination, immediately the thought came again that suddenly I attacked now. And I most likely had strange feelings that I was not afraid to attack, that I was not afraid of it. And I most likely kind of thought that I'm not afraid to go out and go to a certain place and attack, but I don't remember this imagination anymore. I remember how I was already lying and crying, telling myself that I attacked, I attacked. I realized that I had done something terrible first of all in my head. But even then I did not remember exactly what I had imagined or what I was thinking, but strong feelings and thought came to me that I attacked, that I wanted this and that I went and attacked. I am afraid that I was really in a terrible state and imagined such things and I am very sorry about it. I am afraid that I thought so and that suddenly I attacked, because I remember how I lie and cry, that I allegedly attacked, so I may have imagined that I was not afraid to attack somewhere. But I got feelings and thoughts that I attacked. And I cannot understand what happened there. I don’t remember this period of time, but I understand that if I were just lying, then such a thought would definitely not have come, it means that I imagined something or thought (that I’m supposedly not afraid to go out and attack). But I do not remember this imagination and could not remember what happened there after a few minutes. I can't figure out what happened there? Why don't I remember that period of time? Thoughts come to me that I have attacked. That I so imagined, suddenly I decided on it. I understand that I cannot live with this. This is killing me. I do not know what was there and I hate myself for having such imaginations there. I do not know what is this. But I don't remember going out and attacking. Even then, when I cried and said that I had attacked, I did not know the place. But the same cannot be. I couldn't attack, then come and forget where I just did it. This state is destroying me. I don’t know how to live. I do not know how to understand what were in my head at that time.</p></blockquote><br>

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Post Reply: What was it? OCD or something else?