Quote from OCDAnon on April 21, 2021, 4:50 pm
After writing this post I got into an argument with my mum which made me feel even worse. She has the ability to load me up emotionally at times where I can't take it. Then I calmed down and finally sat down an hour later than I normally watch. It went fine however after finishing the episode I now have the feeling that I missed or overheard something and can't remember exactly what it was. I won't watch the episode again but it's really difficult to let it be after everything today.
You mentioned it's not a all or nothing situation and I agree. I like to have things planned out through out the day and today it all went different than I've planned. Sometimes I ask myself how I would react if I didn't have OCD. To me the situation with the kids playing loud music outside is a 11/10 and it probably would annoy me even without OCD involved. And again it's just so confusing and backwards if you try to watch something - get emotionally attached, enjoy it but at the same time endure or ignore the feelings I get from the noises. I'm not a robot and I don't want to sit there staring at the screen and thinking "whatever". I know this is recovery but I don't see a middleground in enjoying watching the series while enduring everything else around me. How do I get the right midset for this?