Quote from Guest on February 15, 2021, 8:36 pm
I would say I am in the process of recovery. I have pure o false memory ocd. Since decreasing my rumination from literally every minute of the day to about an hour to two hours a day, I have this feeling of not having the “mental energy” to perform my compulsions. Typically I really analyze the thoughts to make sure they aren’t true. But now when I get the thoughts even when I get provoked with enough anxiety to feel like I need to ruminate I also feel like I don’t have the mental energy and I just write it off as ocd because I know deep down it is. I guess it’s just a strange feeling of having the thoughts and not feeling like completing my compulsion. It’s like even though they still spark anxiety the logical part of me is getting louder and I’m like yeah I’m not doing this compulsion even though the thoughts still provoke anxiety. I just don’t feel the whole compulsion of over analyzing is necessary. Then it makes me anxious like “why don’t you care to check?! Are you becoming a bad person?” But I know this isn’t true. I don’t feel the need to “check” because logical me is more clear now. I know there is no need. But I’m in this strange limbo where I’m still anxious and still getting thoughts like “what does this mean if you aren’t doing compulsions!?” Can anyone relate? Is this a part of recovery?