OCD ForumOCD HELP FORUM: HOCDMy HOCD Story-"Your gut knows but …Post Reply

Post Reply: My HOCD Story-"Your gut knows but it takes a while for your brain to catch up to it"

<blockquote><div class="quotetitle">Quote from TLgoat16 on February 15, 2021, 7:59 pm</div><p>I have been through it all with HOCD. I have seen everything it can throw at you to make you doubt yourself. it had torn apart my life and at the same time, I knew it was all bullshit OCD. I bet you have been through hell too with this terrible theme of OCD.</p>
<p>I'm not here to reassure anybody. But I will tell you that HOCD will feel very very very real. It doesn't matter if you've felt aroused or have experienced quick rushes of attraction, or are just convinced for WHATEVER reason that you might be gay. Because there are A LOT of situations where it will trick you into feeling you're gay. I know you probably think your situation is UNIQUE. Your situation is not unique. trust me, everyone thinks whatever their trigger is unique and that's why they are gay. OCD is like a hack on your brain. It doesn't matter if you are heterosexual. OCD will send false signals/feelings that will trigger you.</p>
<p>For example, I also had health OCD and thought I had MS or ALS. I ruminated and worried and searched online all day. Eventually, I experienced physical symptoms of MS and ALS. One time my entire forearm went numb. I once started to get fasciculations (big ALS symptom) all over my body. My entire head would twitch. The entire left side of my eye looked cloudy. I started to have short term memory loss. etc. THE POINT I'm trying to make is that if OCD can cause all of these crazy physical symptoms for my health fears that arent true, WHY CAN'T IT DO THE SAME THING WITH HOCD!!!! (and BTW I know for sure it was all OCD because I got a legit MRI on my brain which showed my brain was perfectly healthy.) </p>
<p>In short, I recovered from HOCD by following Ali's advice. But I want to elaborate more on why I feel you need to stop ruminating/analyzing immediately. Many of you may feel you have a sense in your gut that you know HOCD is all bullshit and you're really heterosexual. (even if you are sooo unsure about you're sexuality that you can't tell from your gut, I still want you to put faith in yourself and follow through with what I say). YOU NEED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT TO "LET YOUR BRAIN CATCH UP WITH YOUR GUT"!!! I got this quote from a TV show but I really thought it fit well with OCD and recovery. Whatever HOCD fear you have you need trust in yourself and put it off for a while. Easier said than done right. I know it took a lot of practice to finally get this but if the thought comes up in any way(sensations, urges, images, feelings, attractions, arousal, gay dreams, etc.) YOU NEED TO IGNORE IT and continue on with something else. I'm not saying suppress the thought and avoid it. I'm saying if the thought comes up in any way and lasts a second quickly refocus yourself on something else. If the thought comes up again 10 seconds later do it again. And do it again. It takes practice. Even if it is in the back of your mind for a long time, remember how long you have built up the habit of worrying/ruminating. It's going to take a while to build back up the habit of dismissing OCD thoughts before it feels better.  And like I said, you're brain will catch up to your gut and realize you not gay and HOCD is dumb if you give it time. Put it on hold no matter how scary. say to yourself, "yeah, this trigger is really scary but worrying about it has done nothing for me so far so I might as well do something else" or put whatever spin on it that you want. (Once again if you are so worried that you don't know in your gut, still follow this advice. You're going to need to take the leap and live in uncertainty.) This same concept needs to be applied to any OCD theme. I have gotten over this theme even after being at the very bottom where I felt I couldn't trust my gut. You will get over this. Stand up to this monster. I believe in all of you. God bless</p></blockquote><br>

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